I wasn’t a ‘little cutie’ whilst pregnant.

[ThisDenimPlayer]

I’m 2 weeks PP, I just made a joke about next time as was a horrible traumatic EMCS and he’s just turned around and said no, I don’t like you when you’re pregnant. Maybe if you pretend not to have hormones. I laughed and said yeah, not much fun and now he’s carried on and on about me not being a ‘little cutie’.

It’s annoyed me, I said I’m in my 30s and I don’t need to be a little cutie, feel nauseous even writing that. And now apparently I’m too masculine when pregnant.

AIBU to be annoyed or shall I conform to being a little cutie.

Is English not his first language?

English is his only language.

Is he some kind of paedophile? What normal human being would even think to require a 30something pregnant woman to be a 'little cutie'? Or do you normally look like Betty Boop or a My Little Pony or something?

If I was being generous, I would ask him to explain himself in a more detailed way and ask him to think about being more constructive and less rude.

If I was 2 weeks pp, I’d tackle him with a cast iron frying pan.

Bizarre to think the pregnancy makes you ‘masculine’ - it’s about the least masculine state it is possible to be in!

He sounds like an absolute arse, OP, and if I were you I’d make sure there wasn’t a next time with him.

oh dear. It must be very difficult living with someone who has such a limited ability to communicate. How on earth did he manage to woo you?

Sounds like talking utter BS is his only language!!!

Bloody hell.

Well perhaps next time you're pregnant perhaps you could make a greater effort to be a 'little cutie': wear lots of pink frilly pooffie dresses, curl your hair and pop in a 'cute' little bow, add a pair of mary jane shoes, develop a high pitched lispy little voice and maybe, just maybe you'll pass muster.

If I was 2 weeks pp, I'd tackle him with a cast iron frying pan.

This sounds like a very good plan.

I am so hurt, I found out early on in the pregnancy that the emotional side was lacking. 1/5 high risk for DS, amniocentesis and worried waiting for results - broke down to him and he said ‘speak to a doctor if you want answers I’m not a doctor’

Asked him to help a bit 16 hours post section as he kept napping everywhere and told I think I’m better than god.

Feel crushed.

How long have you known this man OP?

3 years before falling pregnant. It’s just since I’ve shown any vulnerability in being pregnant and postpartum he says these rude things, he’s otherwise kind.

What a dickhead. I would have retorted with something cutting.

I think you're mistaking "otherwise kind" for "biding his time". He belittles you when you are at your most vulnerable because he knows he can get away with it. He won't change and slowly but surely you'll realise that he's being "kind" less often and more nasty.

You see 'kind' should be the norm. Any exception to 'kind', however infrequently, pretty much invalidates all the good.

Kind is consistent not unpredictable.

Do you have anyone else who can support you with your newborn? Mum or sister or friend?

As above.

He's not kind, he's nasty and kicking you when you're down and at your most vulnerable.

Why do women have children with men like this?

Not worth arguing about 2 weeks pp.

Mate, how are you "masculine" when your body is carrying out a females most basic evolutionary function. Is he hard of thinking?

Actually, just seen your update - he is a tosser that needs tossed in the sea. Sorry you found out late :(

Imagine the sweet sound of it connecting with his empty head 😂

It’s just since I’ve shown any vulnerability in being pregnant and postpartum he says these rude things, he’s otherwise kind.

Just to remind you that the woman being pregnant/having a baby is often a trigger for abuse from the man to start or ramp up.

I'm surprised that you want a next time with this idiot.

This is very true.
Possibly keep a diary of any comments made OP? Keep a log so you can see any flags for it getting worse.

Either way, this is NOT a “you” problem. This is a “him” problem. Please, please believe that.

Whats wrong with him! A little cutie?? You're a woman who bore his child, he needs to have a bit of respect! Yanbu x