I wasn’t a ‘little cutie’ whilst pregnant.

[ThisDenimPlayer]

I’m 2 weeks PP, I just made a joke about next time as was a horrible traumatic EMCS and he’s just turned around and said no, I don’t like you when you’re pregnant. Maybe if you pretend not to have hormones. I laughed and said yeah, not much fun and now he’s carried on and on about me not being a ‘little cutie’.

It’s annoyed me, I said I’m in my 30s and I don’t need to be a little cutie, feel nauseous even writing that. And now apparently I’m too masculine when pregnant.

AIBU to be annoyed or shall I conform to being a little cutie.

It’s not inevitable. Think very carefully about your next steps, @ThisDenimPlayer. yes don’t make any hasty decisions but do think that if this man is being such a thoughtless prick when you’re vulnerable, uncomfortable, tired, probably still bleeding… why? Why is he doing this? What does he think will happen?

What would you think if a friend told you something like this or you saw a post on Mumsnet about it?

How in the name of fuck can you be too masculine when pregnant, literally the most feminine state of being on the planet? Fucking moron. Hope your kid didn't inherit his brains.

too masculine when pregnant

Too masculine. When pregnant.

This man is a stone-cold fuckwit OP.

That sounds exactly like Grayson Perry when cross-dressed. 😀

I rarely comment on here but this resonates with me. I stayed with my husband for 25 years who became emotionally distant not long after our marriage and it didn't end well. Controlled, bullied, told what to do, was told frequently that I couldn't survive without him by him.
I stayed for all those years and got out. Get out soon please. I have never recovered. Sending strength

I agree with this.

His comments are horrible but such a common pattern unfortunately. The mask comes off when they think you’re trapped.

Oh he's one of those. Depressingly common, how they suddenly show their true colours once you are pregnant and trapped.

I'd suggest making sure your 'next time' is with a good man, and throw this vomit inducing shit stain out.

Oh good god, @ThisDenimPlayer, please get rid of this man now. He will only get worse, I promise you. Focus on you and your baby.

I actually snorted with derision when I read that he's said you were ''too masculine'' when pregnant!

What a bizarre thing to come out with.

Too masculine to be pregnant..I doubt you look like this, OP!

Oh wow why did you have a baby with this man? He sounds absolutely vile. I hope you have support elsewhere as he’s clearly not giving you any. 😟

Too masculine when pregnant????

Just when you think you've heard every fucking loser man comment on god's green earth, I learnt here is another new way to put women down.

OP, this is not ok. Leave him. Seriously.

He is not kind. Kind people do not treat vulnerable people this way.

Why do people post remarks like this?

In what way are pointless remarks like this helpful.

Yet another person, like the OP's partner, who likes to kick someone when they're down.

If 'he' is your partner, please don't have any more children with him.

Sounds like he speaks fluent Arsehole.

What an absolute prize prick. I hope he’s been helping with the baby at least?!

The comments responding about how can a pregnant woman be masculine made a really good point.

I queried this, he said because every time I bang on about my feelings it’s just starting on ‘men’ for no reason. Ok, at this point I just felt tears roll down my face. Had nothing left to say. Can’t even argue with him, because it would fall on deaf ears.

I text my best friend and asked her to pick me up so now me and baby are staying here until I can sort something longer term. I’ve never felt all my feelings literally drain out of my body towards someone before until today. But I can’t forgive this coldness towards someone at their most vulnerable. I nearly died in my EMCS, life is far far too short to be with someone who has no respect for the woman who just grew and birthed his own child.

You’re so bloody strong. I am in awe of you. He sounds like an absolute dickhead.

I know this is a weird thing to say to a stranger, but I'm hugely proud of you, @ThisDenimPlayer. You have self-respect and you know that you- and your baby- deserve SO much better than this pathetic tool of a man. Well done.

You’re still in the lovely newborn bubble bit of parenting. If he’s this unsupportive now it’s only going to get worse. Sounds like the signs were always there but this is the thing about becoming a parent. You just can’t imagine the reality of it until you are in it. You can spend your life being the strong, independent woman and be with someone who likes this side of you and that dynamic works, but then pregnancy and motherhood happens and shows you how vulnerable you are. And some men can’t handle this shift in identity a lot of women face. There’s a reason so many long term and seemingly happy relationships and marriages break down soon after children arrive.
Perhaps you will be better off co-parenting separately. If he’s not a support to you now he’s just an extra burden. A respectful distance is probably better all round and baby is still young enough not to know any different.

Then what the actual fuck is wrong with him? 🤮

Wow, 'little cutie' gross, patronising language to use about a pregnant woman.

Agree this is a 'him' problem. I wonder how he'd like growing a human and giving birth?!

Asked him to help a bit 16 hours post section as he kept napping everywhere and told I think I’m better than god.

You just created life. He should see you as the fucking GODDESS that you are! Good on you for seeing that shit for what it is and assessing your options. You are worth so much more.