Following on from the pooing on the phone thread . . .

[Joash]

...how many of you would happily poo in front of your DH's/DP's?

when you have to grit your teeth
when it's not the poo you were expecting
not quite as poo faced, or poo face phase 2
when you temporarily cut off the blood supply to half your head with the effort/concentration of it all
the noises and smells men others make

theressomethingaboutmarie - use loo roll, not gossip mags, they are too harsh on your bott,but well done for recycling

Doesn't REALLY bother me, but I try not to.

Ha ha - I did think that when I typed it. A glossy mag like Grazia would be no good anyway

Love the smiley guide!

I insist that I am left alone whilst pooing.

Sometimes I tell them I'm pooing when I'm actually only weeing, just to get a bit of space

Wee is fine but poo no. DP has no trouble with it at all and will merrily come in for a poo when I'm in the bath, or come in when I'm on the loo and give me a kiss. BLOODY WELL GO AWAY I NO NOT NEED PETTING WHEN I'M HAVING A CRAP! phew!

Have any you heard of 'locks?'

They are a marvellous device for ensuring privacy and hiding from your children.

Joash was it you that surprised a builder with a poo?

ohhhhhhhhhh no, never, flamin heck, imagine, no, no, no, wont even wee in front of him, some things are not for dp to see.

Does that make me anally retentive??? Freudian question this one!!

WT - we used to have a lock, but dp had to kick the door in when the littlies managed to move the stool behind the door and somehow managed to lock the door, turn the taps on full blast and scream that they couldn't get the door unlocked.

Since then, we just keep the door shut when someone is in there, and open when it is empty.

I always knock and ask if it is ok to come in. Everyone else in the house thinks "it's only mum" and just barges in.

You need one of those locks that you can undo from the outside with a 2p coin....until one of your children learns how to undo it, then shows your dh I suppose.

Can you sit on the loo with a pile of cold wet sponges next to you to sling at anyone who comes in?

Oh good god, never, ever, ever.
I hate it if I go upstairs and he is sat on the toilet, I don't want to see it!
He's terrible though, sits on the throne door wide open chatting away. Ewwwww.

Me however, I try to do it when he is out, if he's home I'll only do it if he is downstairs and I certainly won't allow him to see me, the same goes for having a wee.

Nobody looks good like this

Squonk can you not keep one leg up? You know like in loos in skanky clubs with no locks, you sit with one leg in the air to stop the door opening too far?

No - I have done this in front of previous partners but I like to keep a little bit of mystery now. I don't even like showering or bathing together unless I've had a 'pre-shower' iyswim.

I have often wee'd in the same room as my dd (hard not to at times) but I'd draw the line at pooing.

toilet behind door and my legs aren't long enough to reach.

What I do, as I hear them coming up the stairs, I shout "I'm having a poooooooo!"

That generally keeps them out.

LOL, I'd lie, even if I was having a poo, I wouldn't say I was [bluhs]
I think maybe I have toilet ishoos.

VS - if you lie and say you are when you're not in theory it should be easier to say that you are when you actually are

However, this is not the case.

The family haven't figured it out yet, but I find it very difficult to say I am having a poo if that is what I am doing.

So if I say I'm pooing, chances are I'm just having five minutes doing the crossword in peace and am in fact fully dressed sitting on the toilet seat.

WanderingTrolley yes it was me and the builders with a poo - you have a good memory, but then again, I have lots of poo stories

Oh god no - it's the final frontier as far as I'm concerned, the thing that never needs to be shared. In fact, stupidly it's one of the things I'm most worried about with respect to giving birth! DP was very gentlemanly when I raised the possibility of it with him, said he was unfazed by the prospect and will never speak of it again if it happens

No, never.

Definitely was a mistake in my last marriage.

Sometimes if desperate for a wee then we will if the other is in the bath - but with the shower curtain across for privacy.

I really really do not want to see him straining , frankly it's enough seeing his orgasm face

I'd never poo in front of DP

And I'd never want him to poo in front of me

Tuis bad enough going into the bathroom after the smelly fucker has been in there.

Personally, I like being in the bathroom alone, it's the on;ly privacy I get all day.

There's a lot to be said for retaining a little mystery.

Don't care with DS - I think it's educational.

I am almost weeping with laughter at this thread.... Thank God for MN!!!

Never! I tell him to feck orf when I need the loo!!

I prefer to be alone but don't often get the chance.

Peeing, yes no problem. Childbirth and various other highly undignified examinations related to it (vag. scan in early pregnancy etc). Pooing? No way, jose! Just cannot bring myself to do it in his presence and DEFINITELY do not want to be there when he's giving birth to his own little baby! We have created myriad euphemisms (an appointment with Mr Brown, dropping the kids off at the pool, etc) to suggest to each other what we are up to, but just can't actually do the deed with an audience. Do sometimes need to with DS who is two and potty training but he is now taking WAY too much of a fascination in it and insisted the last time on shouting 'Well done, Mum!', giving me clap and then having a look before we flushed !! Never again if at all possible!! Have loved reading this thread!! Lots of fun!