To be sick of work colleague bothering me

[Ontobetterthings]

There's a bloke in my team at work that is constantly messaging me on teams at work. Boring jokes or just statements. I tried to pass on work as thought he must be bored so passed on my work. Then he was constantly bothering me he doesn't know how to do the work. Messaging and then can he call me. Calls and drones on for ages about non work.

He's been sending tik toks at 2am in the morning to me. He's constantly on our work chat whatsapp and noone replies anymore. I noticed when noone replies he private messages me. I've tried to be polite and last few messages thumbs up them. Every night he's messaging me.
I'm really sick of him bothering me. What shall I do?

For the out of hours messges I'd send a polite text saying you don't have your ohon3 on after work hours/dont respond after work hours. For everything else maybe speak to manager/HR? He may just be lonely or he may hve got the wring idea from you. Take care

"Hi Bob, all these messages are getting a bit much. I'd prefer it if you stopped contacting me, thanks"

Then block him on SM and ignore him on teams if its irrelevant to your job. You don't need to be nice

I'm feeling harassed. Its like I can't get away from him. Thanks for the replies. Ill try ignoring.

If you're feeling harassed, then you need to tell him directly to stop. Or tell someone else to tell him - your manager or HR.

Could you have a polite and professional conversation with him explaining that it's not acceptable for him to contact staff out of hours. Start with that, then afterwards, deal with the constant teams messaging.

Don't ignore. Tell him to stop messaging you unless it's work related and strictly necessary. If he continues report him to HR.

No, tell him civilly but firmly to stop contacting you. If he continues, go to HR. And ask yourself why being ‘polite’ to someone harassing you with unwanted guff at all hours is more important than your own right to privacy and to be lrft alone to work.

Don't ignore him. This isn't some irritant from a dating app it's a professional colleague.

Tell him calmly and factually and in writing that you want him to stop messaging you unless directly related to work. - and screenshot it.

If he persists tell HR

You could tell him nicely that you don't like spending much time on your phone and you're asking everyone only to contact you if something is important, and you're asking colleagues only to contact you about work issues in working hours. If he carries on anyway, ignore any messages he sends until the next time you see him at work, and repeat your request not to contact you. I think he will be embarrassed and stop, but if not you'll have to talk to your manager about it. This doesn't mean you can't be pleasant and chat to him at work, but that's the limit.

Block. Just block. If he asks you why, say the volume of messages was too much and you want to be able to have your own time and space. If he persists and goes on about it say you'll report it to HR

He may just be lonely or he may hve got the wrong idea from you.

Wrong idea about what,@HappyMamma2023? And his possible loneliness is not OP's problem to solve. It's a work situation and his behaviour is unprofessional and unacceptable.

Text him once asking him not to contact you, and then contact HR. In fact given the 2am junk messages, I’d ask HR for advice anyway as it’s absolutely inappropriate.

I’d reply saying “I know you love to chat but there are too many messages; it’s interrupting my focus at work and disturbing my time at home. Please could you only message me during office hours and when it’s essential and work-related? Thanks for your understanding. See you in the morning.”

As other have said, tell him directly - harassment is legally speaking 2 or more unwanted communications, but to have a case for HR etc. to step (or should I say make it much easier for them) in you need to evidence that you indicated that you don't want the contact - be polite and firm, if it keeps happening, report.

I would tell him once, firmly, in writing, that it is not appropriate for him to be constantly messaging you in this way, that any communications should be solely related to work matters, and only during office hours.

Then ignore completely anything that falls outside your stated parameters. And only reply to anything else if you really need to. I expect the majority of his work related messages can be given responses like …. this is something that needs discussing in the office / you need to address this with X colleague / all the info can be found on the company intranet etc etc.

If the unwanted behaviour persists, raise the matter with HR.

Oh, and whatever you do, don’t tell him you’d ’love to chat’!

You’re feeling harassed because he is harassing you. Sending you TikTok bullshit at 2am? You’re his colleague, not his friend. Either you need to tell him to back the fuck off, or you need to have a word with his manager. Or get your manager to have a word with his manager.

Id just never reply to him direct on Whatsapp, keep it all on the group chat and let the teams messages sit read/ unread for hours if they're not working related.

This. Send it in an email so it's time /date stamped and retrievable.

Thanks for the advice. I've spoken to Hr this morning.

Ive had 3 messages sent to me within an hour of me leaving work. I'm just beyond fed up.

Well done for speaking to HR OP! Let us know how it goes.

Can you block him outside of work?

Block him on everything and tell your manager you are being harassed.

As pp said, tell him firmly to stop and if he doesn’t take it further, HR or manager.

I would block on WhatsApp and also mute the Teams chat with him so you don’t get distracted by his messages. Well done for reporting to HR, they need to sort this now.