Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DD out of school to go to the West End

77 replies

meangal · 04/02/2025 13:35

DH and I have matinee tickets to a West End show tomorrow. DH bought them and didn't buy cancellation protection (sigh).

DS2 is poorly with a chest infection. I don't want to leave him with MIL as planned tomorrow. Not a dig at MIL- but poorly DS is hard enough but she would also be collecting DD after school and would have a couple of hours to manage with them both, and I just think it's too much/I wouldn't relax and enjoy the show anyway!

DH and I are unsure if it would be really bad form to take DD7 out of school at lunch time and she could go to see the show with DH tomorrow. It's child appropriate and she would love it. I think we'll probably end up wasting the tickets if not, or selling them on for a fraction of the price.

Her attendance is great and we would never have planned to take her out of school for a show, but seeing as how the cookie has crumbled this way, WIBU to take DD out of school so she can go to the theatre and we still make use of the tickets?

OP posts:
Adamante · 04/02/2025 17:23

I absolutely would 😊

Dishwashersaurous · 04/02/2025 17:24

Let her go!! Let her go!!

MadameWombat · 04/02/2025 17:24

I would. However send her in for an hour or two in the morning so its technically half a day's absence. The school won't authorise it so I wouldn't bother lying, and let her be excited about it with her classmates.

sparrowflewdown · 04/02/2025 17:24

I would word it as DD will not be at school today - no lying.

Original poster
meangal · 04/02/2025 17:25

Thanks for all the responses-

Overwhelming 'go for it', which surprised me! I thought Mumsnet would tell me not too!

As it goes, DH called the theatre and they have let us move to an alternative date, which is very appreciated.

For those asking, I never would have asked DD to lie about it- that would have failed even if I did think it was a good idea 😂

OP posts:
Elsvieta · 04/02/2025 21:03

Frangela · 04/02/2025 14:28

Why wouldn’t you?

Because when she's back the teacher has to get her caught up - during which time the teacher will be neglecting the rest of the class. That's why this isn't permitted.

Also because "the rules don't apply to you" isn't a great lesson to be teaching her.

Frangela · 04/02/2025 21:09

Elsvieta · 04/02/2025 21:03

Because when she's back the teacher has to get her caught up - during which time the teacher will be neglecting the rest of the class. That's why this isn't permitted.

Also because "the rules don't apply to you" isn't a great lesson to be teaching her.

Show quote history

I am a teacher. I can assure you that a child missing a single afternoon is unlikely to cause me to ‘neglect’ classmates.

Elsvieta · 04/02/2025 21:22

Frangela · 04/02/2025 21:09

I am a teacher. I can assure you that a child missing a single afternoon is unlikely to cause me to ‘neglect’ classmates.

Show quote history

How so? You can't be doing two things at once. If you're explaining something to the one child who doesn't already know it, that's time spent not moving on to the next thing with the rest.

miniaturepixieonacid · 04/02/2025 21:30

Elsvieta · 04/02/2025 21:22

How so? You can't be doing two things at once. If you're explaining something to the one child who doesn't already know it, that's time spent not moving on to the next thing with the rest.

Show quote history

How do you think we cope every single day with the child who was off sick the day before?! Absence is a daily, totally unremarkable part of the job.

I'd have done it without a second thought but great that the theatre let you switch the tickets .

Amammai · 04/02/2025 21:33

I’m a year 3 teacher (so I teach 7-8 year olds) and I would say this is 100% a good idea. One afternoon is not going to affect her learning and she will have so many lovely memories of doing something that is so exciting and a bit spontaneous. I would definitely take my own child if I had the chance.

ForgivenessHoliday · 04/02/2025 21:34

Would you genuinely consider not taking her? That seems crazy to me.

Elsvieta · 04/02/2025 21:39

miniaturepixieonacid · 04/02/2025 21:30

How do you think we cope every single day with the child who was off sick the day before?! Absence is a daily, totally unremarkable part of the job.

I'd have done it without a second thought but great that the theatre let you switch the tickets .

Show quote history

Teachers cope with it when they have to for unavoidable reasons, yes, but they don't positively encourage unauthorised absences. Most schools these days fine parents for this.

Teenybub · 04/02/2025 22:01

Elsvieta · 04/02/2025 21:39

Teachers cope with it when they have to for unavoidable reasons, yes, but they don't positively encourage unauthorised absences. Most schools these days fine parents for this.

Show quote history

As teachers we cope with a lot of crap, but a child missing half a day for something amazing is not a big issue. Catching one kid up will take minutes in comparison to teaching a full class, I would probably be able to do that while the others were hanging up their coats after break.

LoveBluey · 04/02/2025 22:45

I'd do this in a heartbeat. Even more so if it was just an afternoon.
Our school does maths and English in the morning and rotates other subjects in the afternoon. While I'm not saying they aren't important, missing one history, art or PE lesson isn't as disruptive as missing a maths lesson where you need to understand the building blocks.

A theatre trip would easily be as beneficial if not more than one afternoon in school.

Anon501178 · 04/02/2025 22:48

Definitely....it will be something special she will potentially remember forever!

I take my DD out of school for her birthday every year....many would frown upon that, but memories are important and life is short.

BarbaricYawp · 05/02/2025 11:30

steff13 · 04/02/2025 14:59

They'd still have to take her out of school to do that, wouldn't they?

Show quote history

I think you missed my point, lol!

WTF2025 · 05/02/2025 11:35

Take her out! Lovely afternoon out with dad! I’ve taken mine out randomly on the odd occasion…we’ve always had an amazing day together and I wouldn’t regret it for one minute. They’ve also always had great attendance otherwise. Hope they enjoy it

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 05/02/2025 11:57

Definitely! One of my abiding memories is when my mum took me and my best friend in the late 60s or early 70s to the cinema to see Margot Fonteyn and Rudolph Nureyev dance . She wrote to my teacher asking permission. It was a wonderful experience

HouseofHolbein · 05/02/2025 12:05

I’ve taken mine out of secondary to go to concerts. Son is very happy with his memories with dad of seeing Slipknot and Korn and Avenged Sevenfold and Slash and many more. He achieved his expected GCSE’s and has a good career as a painter and decorator with an excellent work ethic and attendance at work.

mind you I took mine out for sports day each year. School isn’t everything

florizel13 · 06/02/2025 06:43

hydriotaphia · 04/02/2025 14:29

I wouldn't, no. Have you called the theatre and seen if they can re-sell the tickets or if they are willing to do an exchange? Often they will not offer a refund but will give it if they do manage to sell the tickets. Or just leave your son with MIL if she is happy with this.

Missing school does have academic consequences and imho it sends the wrong message to a child to say it's ok to skip.

I agree you shouldn't continually take them out but this is a one-off and she's only 7, it's not going to affect anything. What about all the snow days etc when the schools close. I think it's a lovely thing for her to do with her dad

liveforsummer · 06/02/2025 07:23

I work in a school in a class of 7 year olds and along side the teachers on this post say of course this is not going to affect their academic outcome or cause huge problems to the teacher in class. Everything the dc learn is re capped anyway so teacher won't be re teaching to one child while the others roam but if it was something crucial, as support staff i might take 5 mins while the register is being done or similar to go over what was missed. This is a case of benefit outweighing the cost (although I see the trip is now rescheduled)

WinchSparkle80 · 06/02/2025 07:27

Definitely do it, I remember my Mum did this when I was 7. Am 44, I still remember it as awesome - and the show was pretty good too!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 06/02/2025 10:22

I can see why you want to, but I do feel sorry for the teachers. There are so many posts from parents saying that such and such would be a a more educational experience for their child than going to school - holidays, visiting family abroad, theatre and concerts - but meanwhile the teachers have to deal with an ebb and flow of children who have missed lessons and need things explaining that the rest of the class already know, either holding up the class or in the teacher's own time.

TheignT · 06/02/2025 10:32

miniaturepixieonacid · 04/02/2025 21:30

How do you think we cope every single day with the child who was off sick the day before?! Absence is a daily, totally unremarkable part of the job.

I'd have done it without a second thought but great that the theatre let you switch the tickets .

Show quote history

I always wonder when people on here talk about missing x and then being the child who needs one to one to catch up. If you are teaching something, let's say long multiplication, is that one lesson and everyone knows it and it is never referred to again? Not how I remember school.

Talipesmum · 06/02/2025 11:20

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 06/02/2025 10:22

I can see why you want to, but I do feel sorry for the teachers. There are so many posts from parents saying that such and such would be a a more educational experience for their child than going to school - holidays, visiting family abroad, theatre and concerts - but meanwhile the teachers have to deal with an ebb and flow of children who have missed lessons and need things explaining that the rest of the class already know, either holding up the class or in the teacher's own time.

It’s the difference between one afternoon off, and several days / a week / a fortnight for holidays. One afternoon is 2-3 hours, and a one off. It’s much smaller and easier to deal with than a whole week.

Anyway, the OP has been able to change the ticket dates. But just this is why more people are saying “go for it” on a one off couple of hours option, rather than “go for it” on a “missing a whole week of school” option.