I went into my boyfriend's cloud gallery and found pictures of his ex.

[josie384]

I am 24, he is 31.

My phone stopped working a few days ago so my boyfriend handed me his old phone (that he uses daily along with his new one). I went through the gallery and told him so, he agreed. In this gallery I found pictures from 2025 only. I was looking for pictures from 2024 from this trip we had to Hawaii. Then I found a cloud app. To my surprise it was with no password (He has everything encrypted, with passwords and has two phones).

I checked this cloud, I found the pictures from our trip I was looking for. I went further on this cloud here was a ton of pictures of his childhood girlfriend. Very old pictures kissing each other etc...
I felt like I wanted to vomit but then I thought everyone has a past. He talked me about his ex which they dated from 2010 til 2017 (but I found photos of them hooking up till 2020).

I said ok, those from 2010 are alright u know, you are young etc. Then I noticed he had pictures from 2019 of this woman wearing lingerie, very explicit photos and videos. And I confronted my boyfriend.

He of course said I had no business going through this cloud. I asked him why he kept those pictures, he said he didn't have time to delete them since they’re so many (from 2010, more than 40K photos). I told him to look into my eyes and tell me he didn't have them for another reason. He said he loves me and only me and that's why he took a 16 hour flight to spend 2 months with me.
I don't know what to think. I want to vomit. He never took pictures like that to me.

Like so many, naked, etc.. He said that recently he bought that cloud’s license and put all his hard drives there in that cloud but never checked photo by photo in order to delete it.
What should I do? This is my first long term relationship (we're together since 2020). And I have no clue about what's wrong, and what's right.

Says the poster who doesn’t know what gaslight means…

zero likelihood that they are sexual because my naughty years predate digital photography. Of course I would delete them if my partner objected but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I failed to delete them all. In honestly I think what I would probably do if I was seriously serious about the relationship is say here you go, you delete them then you will know they have gone.

Throughout this entire thread OP has been called childish, told that the boyfriend should leave her, she’s looking at things that shouldn’t concern her, called creepy and out of order.

As a result in her updates she said that she now feels that maybe she is in the wrong, that she needs to find a circle of more mature friends and needs to grow up.

But I’ll happily wait for your definition of gaslighting.

But since we first met in person he said he absolutely was into me and was over his ex. Then all this stuff appears, pictures, contacts, new year wishes, and I don´t know what to think

Being deceptive about ongoing contact with his ex would be enough for me to finish it. And whether it’s normal or not for some the videos and pictures would give me the ick.

Why are you so emotionally dependant on him?

Break up. It's a massively long distance. You have no idea what he is doing in Australia and you don't trust him. He still has a relationship with his ex, presumably they live each other too.

With all due respect you do sound very immature, you've been with him since you were 19, he was already over 25 which is when you are supposed to be fully mature. You haven't reached that yet.

It's easy for him to act like he loves you when he sees you, you aren't together full time and there is a huge time difference too when you're not. Stop wasting your time on him.

YABU. He has a life before you. You sound quite insecure - maybe reflect on why that is ?

I think I´m dependent to him because he appeared in my life (when I was 19) when my mom passed away. I was very vulnerable (have no relation nor I know my dad). So he´s all I have. Or at least that´s what I feel.

He left her in 2017 but has naked photos from 2019 and started dating you in 2020 I bet there’s overlap and more to it than you think dump him for lying by omission

I mean she cheated no him. But when we started dating he said they never oficially broke up but didnt talk anymore.

He left her in 2017 but has naked photos from 2019 and started dating you in 2020 I bet there’s overlap and more to it than you think dump him for lying by omission

I agree.

I am sorry about your mum op. It’s important you have other relationships so that you’re not so dependent on him.

I'm confused. Are the photos from 2 years ago when you were together so suggest he's been in contact with her or possibly cheating? Either way I wouldn't be happy to find explicit photos on my partners phone.

All the people making out like it's fine for him to keep hold of these photos, I wonder how the ex would feel if she knew he had kept hold of them? It feels like a huge invasion of privacy to keep hold of private photos like this when they are no longer in a relationship.

Haven't RTFT, but I think he should break up with OP for going through his cloud like that. Completely unacceptable.

I wouldn't tolerate it from a boyfriend.

And yes, I have photos of my exes on my cloud, including some intimate ones.

He has two phones?

yeah, two phones and three diferent phone numbers. He says it´s for privacy.

Story as old as time. It's always the woman who cheats never the bloke... 🤣
Riiight.

My ex had multiple phones (none were work phones) and multiple numbers. He was a serial cheater.

Unless one phone is a dedicated work only device, I'd be suspicious of multiple phones in active use.