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AIBU?

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Original poster

I went into my boyfriend's cloud gallery and found pictures of his ex.

166 replies

josie384 · 04/02/2025 10:46

I am 24, he is 31.

My phone stopped working a few days ago so my boyfriend handed me his old phone (that he uses daily along with his new one). I went through the gallery and told him so, he agreed. In this gallery I found pictures from 2025 only. I was looking for pictures from 2024 from this trip we had to Hawaii. Then I found a cloud app. To my surprise it was with no password (He has everything encrypted, with passwords and has two phones).

I checked this cloud, I found the pictures from our trip I was looking for. I went further on this cloud here was a ton of pictures of his childhood girlfriend. Very old pictures kissing each other etc...
I felt like I wanted to vomit but then I thought everyone has a past. He talked me about his ex which they dated from 2010 til 2017 (but I found photos of them hooking up till 2020).

I said ok, those from 2010 are alright u know, you are young etc. Then I noticed he had pictures from 2019 of this woman wearing lingerie, very explicit photos and videos. And I confronted my boyfriend.

He of course said I had no business going through this cloud. I asked him why he kept those pictures, he said he didn't have time to delete them since they’re so many (from 2010, more than 40K photos). I told him to look into my eyes and tell me he didn't have them for another reason. He said he loves me and only me and that's why he took a 16 hour flight to spend 2 months with me.
I don't know what to think. I want to vomit. He never took pictures like that to me.

Like so many, naked, etc.. He said that recently he bought that cloud’s license and put all his hard drives there in that cloud but never checked photo by photo in order to delete it.
What should I do? This is my first long term relationship (we're together since 2020). And I have no clue about what's wrong, and what's right.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 04/02/2025 13:19

josie384 · 04/02/2025 12:00

the most recent one was from 2 years ago, I didnt care about this others 10 years ago. but the recent ones

Show quote history

If you’ve been together for 5 years and there’s photos from 2 years ago are you saying he has cheated on you?

404ErrorCode · 04/02/2025 13:22

40k photos and you managed to find ones of his ex? Must have been looking ages to find these?

I’d say you were out to snoop, not look for holiday snaps, which begs the question, why?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 04/02/2025 13:23

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 13:01

I would argue intimate photos mean a lot more, particularly if they have been saved to special places recently, by a man who can use them whenever he likes to jerk off.

I'm not talking about the expensive trip to Paris, kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower memento jealousy.

Show quote history

If you don’t understand technology that’s fine, just say so.

People have clearly stated they have tons of pics automatically backed up.

Plus I can still picture my exes naked, that doesn’t mean I’m masturbating to them.

It’s not being a pick me, it’s being an adult.

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 13:24

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:39

OP isn’t talking about the automatic cloud back up on your phone. She’s talking about him taking physical hard drives of photos, downloading them on a device to then upload to a separate cloud application - that’s some work and you’d see snapshots of what you’re transferring as you’re doing that.

Show quote history

I am not teckie but hooking the device and the extetnal storage creates one computer.
So if I was backing up physical storage drive to the cloud i am draging and dropping the whole folder

Physical storage is designed to be recognised as extra storage folders so why would anyone copy from folder A to folder B to folder C

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 13:31

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 13:24

I am not teckie but hooking the device and the extetnal storage creates one computer.
So if I was backing up physical storage drive to the cloud i am draging and dropping the whole folder

Physical storage is designed to be recognised as extra storage folders so why would anyone copy from folder A to folder B to folder C

Show quote history

Depends what cloud storage you’re using. If it’s something like DropBox and you’re moving folders about then maybe. But from OPs post I’d assumed it was more like google photos where you would see individual photos pop up so even if you didn’t see every single photo, you’d see themes / nature of individual images

Streetsofkenny · 04/02/2025 13:36

I would not have a clue what was in my cloud, but I imagine it must be long-forgotten about pictures that I took many years ago.
I would not be impressed at anyone going through it, and then asking me why I'd kept those pictures!
May I politely suggest getting a grip! As has been said by PPs, everyone has a past, it can't just be eradicated when you start a new relationship. Give the guy a break!

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:40

404ErrorCode · 04/02/2025 13:22

40k photos and you managed to find ones of his ex? Must have been looking ages to find these?

I’d say you were out to snoop, not look for holiday snaps, which begs the question, why?

It didnt took ages, most of them were of her

OP posts:
MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 13:46

josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:40

It didnt took ages, most of them were of her

Show quote history

40k of ex in a sexual nature?

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:48

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:12

I'm sorry no! I have to disagree with majority of these replies!

OP describes someone who has multiple encrypted drives / cloud photo apps - clearly tech savvy.

All it takes these days is to go in to the photo album, click search, type in the name of the person (it'll use facial recognition, most people are already tagged in your phone as it's smart like that), select all and delete. It's not hard AT ALL.

A couple odd missed photos here and there, fine. We all have that. Thousands upon thousands of photos of your ex, kissing and whatnot. No. Of course you've had a life before but you don't need to be keeping that. Photos are for reminiscing, you shouldn't be reminiscing your ex when you have moved on otherwise you should've stayed with that person.

Also to all the posters taking about 'forgetting you have photos'. You don't forget having naked photos of someone. Like at all.

yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago.

OP posts:
AnSolas · 04/02/2025 13:48

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 13:31

Depends what cloud storage you’re using. If it’s something like DropBox and you’re moving folders about then maybe. But from OPs post I’d assumed it was more like google photos where you would see individual photos pop up so even if you didn’t see every single photo, you’d see themes / nature of individual images

Show quote history

But 40k worth of images must work out at hours of screen time for a backup which is a background activity

Plaided · 04/02/2025 13:49

You’ve been together 5yrs and he has pictures of his ex in underwear that were taken 2yrs ago? Do you mean you think he has been cheating on you with his ex?

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 13:52

josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:48

yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago.

Show quote history

Well then that squashes all the PPs comments about not knowing what’s in your cloud! He fully knows what’s in there.

I stand by what I said even more so now, even though I did start to think maybe it was an oversight when reading other posts.

He knew what he had, he disclosed this to you, you said it would make you uncomfortable and he decided to keep them.

And I can see why after him saying this to you you’d ’go snooping’.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:53

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:39

OP isn’t talking about the automatic cloud back up on your phone. She’s talking about him taking physical hard drives of photos, downloading them on a device to then upload to a separate cloud application - that’s some work and you’d see snapshots of what you’re transferring as you’re doing that.

Show quote history

Hmm I asked this to him. He said he didnt know nor see what he was transfering to this new cloud he bought (which he bought like a month ago). He said he only saw names of these files. Not the photos.

OP posts:
MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 13:55

josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:48

yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago.

Show quote history

On my phone I can use a tool that automatically puts my photos into categories of people and places. Making deleting all of one person a matter of seconds.

He chose to not do this. That Is very telling. All those posting here saying oh of course I have lots of photos of my ex it's no big deal,most of which aren't sexual in nature with videos and yet no one has said my partner did ask me to delete and I didn't. So that's far less common which would suggest there is a reason behind it. I suspect If you asked men for their opinion it would be different to most of the women here.

furiousnana · 04/02/2025 13:56

so you knew they were there, and he knew they were there and you wanted to know if he had deleted them, which he clearly has not.

you both sound as bad as each other..

Vertigo2851 · 04/02/2025 14:06

Op you need to be a bit more specific. Has he cheated on you? How many of the pictures were of her?

LittleGreenHouse · 04/02/2025 14:13

I'm confused - there were explicit pictures of another woman taken and saved since you've been together? Yes, absolutely that's wrong. What was his explanation for this?

Seems a bit suss that if this is what he's got in an unlocked cloud - what's he keeping in the locked devices?!

TBH I think it's disrespectful to the woman who sent the explicit pictures to be keeping them after they're no longer together and I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:18

Vertigo2851 · 04/02/2025 14:06

Op you need to be a bit more specific. Has he cheated on you? How many of the pictures were of her?

as far as I know he hasn´t. I really love him and he seems very honest and clear. Like, He told me he deleted them, I went in his gallery and found that was not true. I found out they still talked in 2021, he still has her number.

But despite all, we´ve talked, have a very honest conversation and he insists he absolutely didn´t know those pictures were there. And he´s very sad that I saw those pictures rather than that he still had them :(

OP posts:
Cabinqueen · 04/02/2025 14:20

Big red flag for me... He deserves better than this. Snooping is never good. He is older than you, so clearly had a life before you, hopefully he'll have another with someone less insecure. Sorry but there it is...

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:22

ItGhoul · 04/02/2025 12:10

Again, that isn't what you said in your first post. You said the most recent ones were taken in 2019/2020. That isn't two years ago.

What are you actually saying here? Are you saying that your boyfriend has been cheating on you while you've been together? Or are you saying that your boyfriend has photos of his ex from before you got together, and simply hasn't deleted them from his cloud account?

You also mention him taking a 16-hour flight to be with you for two months. Is this a long-distance relationship where you don't actually live in the same country and only see each other now and again?

Show quote history

yes, it´s a long distance relationship, germany to australia

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:36

LittleGreenHouse · 04/02/2025 14:13

I'm confused - there were explicit pictures of another woman taken and saved since you've been together? Yes, absolutely that's wrong. What was his explanation for this?

Seems a bit suss that if this is what he's got in an unlocked cloud - what's he keeping in the locked devices?!

TBH I think it's disrespectful to the woman who sent the explicit pictures to be keeping them after they're no longer together and I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with that.

yes, very explicit photos and videos. I thinkk most of the issue is that when we atarted dating he mentioned this woman a lot, that she cheated on him, that she broke his heart, and also mentioned they never "oficially broke up", just stop seeing eachother.

I haven´t had issues til last year when he said he didnt see a reason to stop being friends with her. And that they were not friends anymore because she doesnt talk to him in years, and not that I feel uncomfortable with that

OP posts:
NewYearNewDietAgain · 04/02/2025 14:36

lol my cloud has pics of 2 ExH, an ExBF and current DP. No way am I going through years worth of pics to delete them. They're all part of my past and it's not like I go back looking through them anyway (apart from pics with the kids).

YAB massively U.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:36

Cabinqueen · 04/02/2025 14:20

Big red flag for me... He deserves better than this. Snooping is never good. He is older than you, so clearly had a life before you, hopefully he'll have another with someone less insecure. Sorry but there it is...

thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:39

Arraminta · 04/02/2025 11:20

Are you sure you're 24? You sound like a 14 year old. His previous relationships Are. None. Of. Your. Business.

Thanks, definitively this site helped me a lot to not see this as a big deal. I mean I also have an ex but no photos of him naked stored on my new cloud on my phone.

Yes, it seems I´m very childish and that the age gap is a big factor here as some mentioned here. Thanks a lot for your time.

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:42

Coconutter24 · 04/02/2025 13:19

If you’ve been together for 5 years and there’s photos from 2 years ago are you saying he has cheated on you?

Show quote history

no, those 2 year ago were some screenshots I think.

The only thing I want is him telling me "yes I knew those photos were there and I wanted them to be there and look at them". But when we had this conversation he said he didnt know they were there like it was a surprise.

OP posts:
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