How did you potty train?

[TheYellowBrickRoad]

My DD is 20 months and I have started looking how to best potty train her in the future. She isn’t yet showing any signs of being ready but want to be prepared!

What way did you find was best? What age did you start? Any guidance would be appreciated as I keep reading and hearing such conflicting advice.

We did it at a similar age and we went simple: Nappy free and a chocolate button for every wee on the potty.

My advice is dont overcomplicated it. Just take the nappy off and see what happens and you can figure out from there what you can tweak. You won't know the challenges your DD will face until you try.

Thank you so much for this! I keep reading tonnes of different stories and have just read the thread about some children not being trained by school.

Did you use a potty or one of those “toilet seats” that goes on top of yours? If that makes sense!

I waited until they were ready. I started my eldest at 2 years before they were showing signs and it was awful. Constant accidents and in the end we stopped. A few months later they started asking to use the toilet after seeing others in nursery use them, and they were dry straight away. My second asked to use the toilet at around 2 and a bit and again we just went straight to toilet and they got the hang of it pretty quickly. My third was exactly the same. For me going straight to the toilet made it easier, we did have a potty downstairs in case if emergencies but tried not to use it unnecessarily. In all they were usually using the toilet within one week, so I was happy that I used their cues. All were potty trained by two and a half.

We started the week after my daughter turned two, following the 'oh crap' method, but only potty training during awake hours. It took her 3 months to be fully potty trained during the day (no more accidents). We'll broach potty training at night when she's past 3 years old.

For the next child I'd probably start at 2 years and 2 months, as language skills are better, but I doubt I'd wait longer than that.

The summer she turns two. Knickers in with no nappy so she wees into them and feels uncomfortable. Bare bum time, time at home, schedule set to suit for a while.

Urinary tract and digestive tract are two different parts of the brain so they may not align. I had to put dd into a nappy once a day for ages. Also learning to do a poo sitting over a void can feel really, really odd the first time so effort on your part may be needed.

Cloth nappies are uncomfortable so can increase the incentive to train themselves.

basically oh crap method. Just 2 and 25 months. Ds started to use the one minute I left the room to poo so knew he had some realisation about it. We used a potty because it was easier to start catching it in the right place for early success. No clothes on bottom half and then just loose trousers.

ds was sorted in 12 days, never had an accident after that and to be honest after 3 days it was more about ds learning to leave enough time to get to potty and sort clothes without accidents.
dd was 25 months when I started and it was more about nappy changes being so hard work so gave it a go. She was much more difficult to do because every time we tried to add clothes she would just wee in them, no issues if she was naked. Took about 3 months to be completely reliable with no accidents.

You can put her on the pot on a schedule set around preschool times after the initial stages. Wake up, before school, recess, lunch, after school etc. She can feel like a big girl.

She isn’t at preschool though? She starts at 3. She’s only 20 months at the moment so I don’t know what their schedule would be at 3!

Thank you for this! I’m going to research the method!

I just waited until they said they wanted to stop wearing nappies and they went straight from nappies to pants and the loo practically overnight with only a couple of accidents. They were around 2.5ish. You have to hold your nerve though, there are always people ready to tell you how very wrong and lazy you are. But my parenting style is to aim for as little stress as possible.

Ah that’s fab. I think I’m more worried as read a thread today about kids fully trained by 2 etc and felt rushed! That’s great to follow their cue.

I waited until my DC was showing an awareness of needing to wee/poo, e.g. pausing in their play right before doing it, pooing at a similar time each day, indicating to me that they'd done something in their nappy (verbally or non-verbally), etc. They all started doing this between the age of 2 and 3 and a half.

Once they did this I took them to the shops to choose some underwear and then picked a time when we could stick close to home for a few days. I trained straight onto the toilet with no potty and no little seat either because when you're out and about there won't be a potty or a little seat.

Day One, no pants and regularly asked them to come try the toilet. Lots of praise for just trying

Day Two, pants on and regularly asked to try the toilet. Lots of praise.

Day Three, pants and clothes. Reminded about trying the toilet. Lots of praise.

They're not going to get it perfectly right and there will be accidents but there should be some noticeable improvement day on day and by day three there should be more successful toilet trips than accidents. If there was no improvement and if the toilet successes aren't out-numbering the accidents then they went back into nappies and we tried again after a couple of months (did this with one DC and attempt row went much better).

By day three, all of my DC were reliably trained enough to be able to go out and about in pants. Tactical wee before leaving the house, tactical wee on arriving wherever we were going, and then little reminders across the day as needed then these gradually tapered off over the first two weeks.

We took advantage of a warm sunny weekend - potty in the garden, bare bum, everyone sat and played/read outside all day, and we basically housetrained him like a puppy, with lots of cheering and praise for going in the potty and no-fuss boring cleanups if he forgot. Wees were sorted within those two days. He loved copying our dogs, which helped a lot! He was worried about pooing in the potty or on the toilet, so I read him the legendary 'Poo goes home to Pooland' a couple of times and he did his first poo on the toilet seat the next day. This was a couple of weeks after his third birthday, though. I'd tried at 2 1/2 and he was having none of it - he just wasn't ready and was getting upset about it.

Thank you everyone! So the main takeaway is perhaps wait until it’s sunnier. Not one for a cold January day!

Most people I know used the Oh Crap! method or something close to it. The advantage is that if it works properly, it only takes a few days, which is most practical for most families these days with two working parents.

It worked OK for my DS1 aged 2 and a half, although he was still in nappies at nighttime for a long time after he was dry in the day, and he would always poo in his nappy in the evening or early morning. But he was fine with weeing in the potty after a couple of weeks and the poos followed about 6 months later.

DS2 seemed to find it harder. We got him to a stage where he was happy enough using the potty if he constantly reminded him, but he wouldn't ever ask us to use the potty himself and would just wet his pants and not tell us or seem to care at all if we mis timed the reminders. This went on for 4 months or so.

We got some help from a health visitor who recommended upping his fluid intake, giving him praise and attention for drinking but not really for either using the potty or having an accident (no negative attention either, just not making a fuss either way), and timing reminders for 30 mins or so after he had a drink.

We got him a special water bottle with helicopters on it and some twisty straws for drinking from cups, and made a huge fuss over everyone having lots of lovely drinks. This really did the trick, within a couple of days he stopped having accidents and within a couple of weeks he was asking to use the potty. If they're not drinking enough and being prompted to go to the potty too often, they don't get to feel the sensation of having a full bladder and so can't work out when they need the potty.

Good luck OP.

I trained both of mine at 2.5 too but neither of them would ever have said they wantedto do it. DS2 in particular would probably have happily stayed in nappies until 3+.

No probs :) The amount of literature out there is so overwhelming!

We had a potty at that age to start with and once she was confident we got a step and a seat for the toilet.

You could try both and see which she prefers. You'll likely need the little seat at some point anyway as you start to embed the last wee at night as part of the routine X

Oh Crap method. Worked for both my twins brilliantly. I wouldn't pay too much mind to 'the signs' – it's largely a myth. If they can learn a nursery rhyme and have the physical skill to push down their trousers/pants then they are ready to potty train.

We talked about it a lot before we started doing anything, so that they knew this was coming up and was something they would be soon expected to be able to do.

Stuff like 'Oh you're getting so big and clever, soon you won't need nappies anymore. You'll be able to use the toilet like mummy and daddy.' Or 'When the weather warms up, I think you'll be ready to try wearing pants instead of nappies'.

We didn't expect them to think of it themselves.

They were about 2 and a half when we started taking action (first just putting them on the toilet at set times to 'try and see' and then after they'd used the toilet several times, we went all in over a long weekend, bare bums and lots of reminders that they needed to go in the toilet now).

You can tell very quickly if they are physically able to manage it with practice. DD got it first proper attempt, DS we went back to trying the toilet at set times for a while and then he got it the second proper attempt.

I did Elimination Communication from a couple of months old, as they did in the 70s, and both of mine were comfortably, independently out of nappies by 12 months old. I don't know why this method isn't pushed more - it saved us a fortune in nappies, and the kids were happy being free of having a bulky bum too (we also did cloth nappies).

Well, this time next year.

I started at about 6 months, by sitting them in the potty, with their nappy on, so they got used to it. Then progressed to sitting them on it without their nappy first thing in the morning, also just before their bath, also after breakfast and lunch.
As they got older, once they were able to recognise they need a wee, they were more than happy to sit on the potty. They were both dry during the day, by the time they were 2.

Yes used Oh Crap at just under two also. Took about three days for day dryness, with some occasional accidents afterwards (not getting to the potty in time). Oh Crap recommends from 18 months to 30 months I think. We did it in winter also and it was fine. Just have some towels/mats down for the first couple of days (and don't let them sit in the sofa 🤣)

Like a PP we used chocolate buttons also. And a potty to start, then a little seat and a ladder for the loo.

Not sure when to start with the night potty training.

I started when DDs started toddling about, normalising the potty by getting them to sit on it and try and do a wee before having a bath, say. Then when they seemed to be old enough to understand (trying every couple of months) I'd try them without nappies for a bit, and if they weren't getting it at all by day three I'd try again in a couple of months time. DD1 got it at about 2.5, DD2 at just turned 3, but then she had an issue withholding poo as she was frightened to do a poo on the potty or toilet. I read one of the myriad funny toddler books about it with her and she got it, after a difficult couple of weeks.

DD2 was dry at night straight away though, whereas DD1 still wore a pull up overnight for another few months I think.