How did you potty train?

[TheYellowBrickRoad]

My DD is 20 months and I have started looking how to best potty train her in the future. She isn’t yet showing any signs of being ready but want to be prepared!

What way did you find was best? What age did you start? Any guidance would be appreciated as I keep reading and hearing such conflicting advice.

Yes we also did this, so it was part of a normal thing to sit in the potty

I think this is a good idea and if I had another child I'd probably start sooner as well. It's a low pressure method, just sets up expectations for the child.

In my experience, all other things being equal, children tend to live up to our expectations of them if they can.

I could have written this! After seeing a lot of friends trying to force things and dealing with months of accidents and withholding issues I just decided to wait until they showed an interest.
Have a potty in the house so they can start getting used to it and keep asking if they would like to try it and stop wearing nappies now. When they say yes go for it, straight into pants.
Mine were 2.5 exactly and 3 years 2 months. But both trained within 5 days and a handful of accidents, no issues in nursery or anything. They were also able to communicate so much better by then and hold for longer making trips out easier. My youngest didn't even use a potty, just straight on the toilet with a little seat and step stool, she could get on an off herself.
I don't see why parents create so much stress around this. Yes it's not great for a child to be starting reception still in nappies but they're at least 4 when they start reception and there's so much development that happens between 2 and 4 most NT children will be ready at some point within that time, some just need a bit longer. I just don't think it's worth stressing about.

My first was 18 months, 2nd 20 months. I think its a skill that needs to be taught. We started from when they were young just by saying you're doing/you've done a poop when they did in their nappy. We used the oh crap potty training book. 1st took 2 days 2nd took 2 weeks. Good luck :)

Waited til early summer after turning two. Nappy off, potty out, stayed at home for a few days. I would regularly ask them if they needed to use it. Can't remember if they got a treat or just lots of praise when they did. My DS was fairly easy he got the hang of it within a few days and was dry overnight too within two weeks. One horrible poo accident that was traumatic enough for both of us that it never happened (bar once) again. DD a bit more stubborn and would hold on to her wee instead of using it but again dry within a couple weeks. Both moved on to using the proper toilet very quickly.
But even if very reliable there may be the odd accident as in the first few months when they say they need to go they need to go RIGHT NOW. So you will still need to bring a change of clothes and scope out where the toilets are when out.

Another follower of the “oh crap” method here. Bought and read the book, followed it exactly, no drama - couldn’t recommend highly enough!

Did The Gentle Potty Training book. At 23 months. He got it in 3-4 days and basically on had a few accidents after then

My son is 3 and a half and absolutely refuses to use the potty. It’s so hard as my eldest was trained by two!

My daughter seemed ready just after 2 but we had a big holiday planned that involved limited access to facilities so we waited until after that and when we got back she started refusing to go near the potty! We're not interested in forcing or pushing these things.
So we waited a little longer and did it over the christmas break with the thought that its long enough off work/nursery to get a handle on it. But we planned to wait until spring when it was warmer if she didn't take to it over christmas.
We just said, we're not going to use the nappy anymore, we're going to use the potty and to let us know if she needed to do a wee or poo. Went very well, she was old enough to understand the concept & communicate with us and had very few wee accidents over the 2 weeks. We didn't use treats, just lots of praise and encouragement.
We did first day nothing on the bottom, then we introduced knickers the next day. We didn't really think to move onto trousers as well as they weren't needed in the house but wish we had done the 2 layers before sending her back to nursery to help her get used to that but she still did well going back to nursery, only a few accidents.
We did a potty, for ease of getting her there quickly in the beginning when she wasn't holding for long, we have tried using a seat on the toilet now she can hold for longer but she doesn't like it as much, I think because her legs dangling isn't as comfortable. It's the only option when we're out and about though.
We still use a nappy for naps or long car journeys but she's almost always dry even after a nap & asks to use the potty even if she's wearing a nappy. We're going to wait until she's dry overnight to remove her night nappy because we have another on the way and have zero interest in extra wake ups in the night due to accidents etc.
She still needs help getting her trousers off sometimes and obviously with wiping.

We did it a few months after my son turned 2 (although he was probably ready before, but we had a new baby and so I pushed it back a bit).

We spent the first few days at home following with his nappy and trousers off (it took 3-4 days for him to really get it, so don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen straight away).
We loosely followed the ‘oh crap’ method but we did give immediate rewards (stickers and chocolate buttons), which worked for us because he’s very motivated by snacks and shiny things 😂.
We also did put him in pants quite quickly, he didn’t seem to confuse them with nappies and his nursery wanted him to wear them.

I’d suggest:

• Having multiple pottys so she can always find one easily
• Go with what works for your individual child (I have friends who did it gradually using pull-ups or allowed their child to wear nappies when they were out. I also have friends who did a short, sharp ‘no nappies ever again’. Some of us used rewards, others didn’t. All our kids are trained now!)
• Make sure everyone looking after your child is on board with your approach so she doesn’t get confused (it might be worth talking to nursery/childminder about what their preferences are and what they can facilitate).
• If she’s doing something distracting then you’ll need to remind her to go to the loo (my son was brilliant unless he was at the park or watching TV, then he was so absorbed in what he was doing he’d just forget to go).
• Have a bag packed with spare pants/leggings, wet wipes, plastic bags, dettol floor wipes and a kitchen roll. Keep it with you whenever you leave the house.
• Practice using the big loo at home, it’s so much easier than having to take a potty out with you.
• Poo can take longer than wee to get the hang of (we let him watch Paw Patrol on my tablet just to get him to sit on the potty long enough for it to happen the first few times so he could get used to the sensation, we don’t normally allow Paw Patrol so this was a massive treat!)
• Amazon sell piddle pads for car seats. Get one.
• Put a waterproof fitted sheet over your sofa (trust me 😂)

You’ll be fine. It definitely wasn’t the best couple of weeks of parenting but we did it and it does make life easier in the long term.
Also, if she’s really not getting it and everyone is getting upset, angry and frustrated then it’s fine to leave it and try again in a few months. Lots of my friends had a few false starts and I think it’s better to avoid their being a negative association with the potty (although if she’s making progress, no matter how slow, then stick with it!)

We also had a few regressions, they’re normal so don’t worry if that happens

About 2y 4m - everyone on here acts like that is late but it was still earlier than most of her peers we knew at the time to be honest.

The signs of readiness were showing an interest in the potty we'd had knocking around for ages (she would line up her toy ducks and make them all wee on it, then started sitting on it herself). She'd tell us when she'd done a poo. And once we were at playgroup and she grabbed my hand to pull me towards the toilets saying 'wee wee mummy' (and then proceeded to do one on the loo) so we took the nappies off from that day really.

I think having the potty around, talking about what it was for, reading a picture book called 'No more nappies' and the fact she always accompanied me to the loo so knew what went on all helped get her ready.

We tried to stay home for a couple of days at first, though I think we did actually go to a class on the second day as she'd pretty much nailed it for wees from that point on. Nappy free, reminding her regularly. Got a travel potty for taking out and about, it still lives in the car now if we're ever caught short!

She was dry in the day pretty much instantly, and at first the poos seemed to be going well but then we had a bit of a setback with that and she started witholding which led to some leaking/ accidents and the whole thing got a bit traumatic for a couple of weeks. Watching the 'poo goes to pooland' story/ app really helped, but in the end I cracked and say to her 'if you do a poo poo on the potty you can have a chocolate coin' and that pretty much solved it instantly! I felt really bad as she'd not really been allowed chocolate up till that point, but it was definitely a very effective tool. Also led to delightful situations like when DH went to the loo in a cafe, she screeched at him as he was coming back 'you done a poo poo daddy? You need a chocolate coin?'

We had a couple of regressions - once when we went on holiday we seemed to get quite a lot of accidents which stopped as soon as we got home, again when she started school nursery just the first week, and again starting Reception just the first week.

What we seem to have missed the boat on is nighttime dryness - 4.5 and not had a dry night yet. I'm really not sure what to do for the best there, had lots of conflicting advice. I genuinely believed it would just follow automatically somehow, but obviously not.

Oh, also get her to practice taking her pants and trousers off before you start potty training. You want it to be easy for her so she’s not faffing about when she’s desperate for the loo

Waited until they were ready and able to communicate they needed to go, which was at 3. Lots of people said they should have been out before that, but waiting until they were ready meant it was done in a day with only 1 accident, and we stopped the nappy at night after 2 nights as it was dry. No having to take a potty and a suitcase full of clothes everywhere, nor having to stay in for days on end. Stress free and worked for both my children

Similar approach here. Bought pants and explained that grown ups and older children do their poos and wees on the toilet and that soon they would do that too. Every so often asked them if they wanted to try wearing pants. Mine were closer to 3 but both decided when they wanted to give it a go and that was that. My daughter never had a single accident. My son had maybe 3 or 4 accidents before he got the hang of it. No stress at all. There's really no need for any "training" at all. Just wait until they are ready and they do it themselves.

Agree with this.

Readiness doesn’t mean asking to use the toilet, it means having the language skills to say “wee wee” or similar and being able to pull their pants down.

I trained DS at 18 months and DD at 20 months based on when convenient for me to take time off work. Took 3-4 days and no accidents after that for either.

Its the people I know who have waited until 3+ who have struggled with things like poo holding, only pooing in nappies etc, as kids are obviously more set in their ways by then and also have more free will to push back on what you tell them.

DS was dry at night at 4.5 and DD was 2.5 - night time is a whole different ballgame and can’t be trained as such - just need to wait for a hormone to kick in.

I bought a book to read to both of mine about potty training, I thinks it's called Pirate Pete, we read this every now and again. Then we did as much time as possible where they had no nappy on so they could then understand when they had done a wee and also practiced pulling trousers and pants up and down themselves. We did lots of talking about going to the toilet and both would be really interested about flushing the toilet and then washing hands after with special soap. We then did the whole thing about going shopping for pants and them choosing ones they liked. We also had a potty downstairs for them to sit on when ever they liked. With both of mine, I waited until they both had asked to do a wee in the toilet, neither really liked the potty. I didn't do any rewards or anything like that as I didn't think that would work with either if mine. We just did lots of cheers and clapping and dancing etc everytime .... Both were dry in the day within a week. At night took alot longer, my eldest was 6 and my youngest is still not dry now.
I found so much conflicting information on line and found everyone had a different way, ideas etc. I think sometimes it's down to you and how your children are and what works best for your situation. Good luck OP

I'll preface this by saying that both my DC have been very easy to PT and I don't think I can really take any credit for that!

Both were 2.5ish (not twins, just did the exact same approach with DD and DS!). I didn't look for signs of readiness or talk about it much beforehand - just waited for a spell of nice weather, where the toddler wouldn't mind having a bare bum and could play outside, and I could easily dry lots of washing!

Nappy off first morning, a potty in every room and watched them like a hawk. As soon as they started weeing, I sat them on a potty. Didn't use chocolate buttons or stickers, as it felt like an extra layer of confusion for them. They cottoned on pretty quickly. Within a day or two, they were reliable enough to brave taking them out for short park visits etc.

Night training is another story - DD6 is still in pullups at night, despite many attempts to get her dry. DS3 was dry at night straight away.

One thing I'd totally recommend are the MyCarry travel potties - worth their weight in gold, and my then 5-yo daughter used it for late-night wees on a camping trip last year!

You can't night train, it's hormonal. You can encourage good habits like having a wee before turning in but remaining dry overnight is reliant on sufficient amounts of anti-diuretic hormones. Levels of these vary by individual but, for the most part, increase with age so allowing time to pass is all you need for nighttime dryness. Levels vary souch that it's not considered a medical issue until the age of 8 and even then the initial management plan will be "let's give it 6-12 months and see what happens".

2 years 9 months I started as that was when she had the physical strength to be able to pull up / push down her clothes, had good communication skills and understanding, was showing signs of knowing she was pooing by leaving the room to poo and asking for a nappy change after.

Used the "Oh Crap" method. Biggest thing I can recommend is taking time off work to really focus on it - it should be the sole focus of your days when you start. You don't want to be distracted by other things. Day 1 was pretty rough with quite a few wee accidents, but on the morning of day 2 she understood straight away and did most of her wees in the potty and I think by day 3 or 4 she was completely dry in the daytime, and also completely dry at night coincidentally.

Poos took a bit longer but no more than probably...2 weeks. I used to take her out into the garden after a meal with no pants on, put a potty behind the tree and when she had that panicked "I'm going to poo" face I just shouted and pointed "In the potty over there! go go!" and she ran off and did it eventually after a few poos on the grass. Queue lots of praise and excitement / congratulations from me.

Started around this age introducing the toilet just before bath time . I had a little toilet seat and while the bath was running would pop him on for a couple of mins. Got him Used to toilet in non scary way so when went for toilet training fully he got the whole idea of a toilet. All of mine trained very quickly

I have a boy which I think does make some difference as from what I hear, they tend to take longer.

We needed up taking in to account the time of year. So we started trying as soon as he turned 3 but it was the middle of winter and so he often had more layers of clothing on. The nursery he went to was one that had them outdoors in all weathers so he was often wearing waterproof trousers over his jeans etc. The first time he had an accident I couldn’t get all his clothes off in time - he told me he needed to go but by the time we got him to his potty (we were out and it was in the car) and started getting his trousers off it was too late. He was quite upset about it bless him, even though I told him it was my fault! I didn’t want to knock his confidence any further so we stopped and waited another 6 months. He got it within a week that time.

As I understand it, 3.5 is late for potty training by MN standards but it worked for us and he was certainly fine when he started school!

Wow thank you all. Plenty of top tips!

We trained quite late, when he was about 3, he just absolutely wasn’t interested or showing any signs of readiness early than that. We tried it before and he just did not want to know. Multiple accidents etc. it was tricky with us both full time and him being looked after by family.

The upside for us is that he was dry day and night pretty much the same time. I can count the total number of accidents on one hand since we did it properly.

lots will say it was too late (like my mother) but it worked for us.

Read Oh Crap. Follow it to the letter. Yes it’s an intense few days at the start but absolutely worth it. Child will be potty trained if you follow the approach properly.

People who struggle seem to do so because they can’t be bothered to put the effort in. They’re incensed that it means taking a week off to focus on teaching their child. They believe someone else (usually nursery) should do this for them. They can’t face a week without staring at their phone so get distracted then frustrated when they miss their child’s cues.

My girl is 3 years and 4 months and not trained. We've tried everything but all the bribes and bare bum time in the world will not make her wee on the potty: she knows when she needs to go, hates being in a wet nappy and will happily sit on toilets or the potty with a nappy on but would rather dehydrate and sit all day with a full bladder than release a wee in one.

Current record is 7 hours no wee without a nappy on. But also 7 hours refusing to drink.

I'll get called lazy, but I don't know what else we can do right now other than wait for her to be ok with it. She talks about it all the time and knows she can't wear nappies forever but just can't seem to let go.