Fatphobia

[GutsyShark]

My Instagram algorithm keeps showing me “plus sized travel” etc clips saying things like it’s not my body that’s wrong it’s the airlines whose seats are too small, claiming this is an example of fatphobia.

Mostly Americans so we are talking about people who are severely obese, not just slightly heavier than they should be (like me!).

Im not looking to judge, I get that this a complex issue but AIBU to think this is such a dangerous mentality?

It’s the same as Iif there was a pro smoking or pro sunbathing without suncream movement is it not?

There is a lot of “love your body no matter your size” movement at the moment which is great, but I do think there is a point where promoting a morbidly obese or unhealthy underweight body is damaging.

I myself have come across the “love the skin you’re in” influencers who are very, very overweight and show themselves eating everything and anything in sight. They’re extremely overweight and I do feel this is promoting an it’s ok to be extremely unhealthy attitude.

On the other side I also feel the same about the “what I eat in a day 800 calories to keep a size 0 body” unhealthy and damaging too.

I think it’s important to love your body, but we need to remember to love our body is to fuel with the right foods and not expect a flat stomach etc, just like a balanced lifestyle.

I wouldn't say the airlines are demonstrating 'fatphobia', ie fear or disgust of fat people. They are probably focussed on maximising their profit margins by making the seats as small as possible.

An airline offers a seat measuring eg 30cm x 30cm on an aeroplane for the price of £X. This is the product/service on offer. But if the product doesn't suit you because you need more space than 30cm², what should you do?
I can't think of any circumstances where flying is a basic need. But travel in general is, and bus/train seats are scarcely bigger. So if travel is a basic need, to what extent should we legally force private companies to amend their products/services to cater for the needs of all members of society? Forcing eg Ryanair to offer XL seats at the same price as standard seats is akin to forcing Sainsbury's to sell gluten free bread at the same price as normal bread.
Is this what we want as a society? Every single thing artificially levelled up? Many small businesses would struggle with this if applied across the board.

I agree. I see so many people who are very overweight saying that they are in fact very healthy, no health problems, very fit, big boned, low metabolism, heavy set, fat genes etc but insist they are as healthy if not healthier than the average person.

You can and you should love the skin you are in but to be grossly overweight OR underweight is nothing to be celebrated or deemed acceptable. It is NOT healthy.

Hats off to all of those who are very overweight and trying to do something about it. It is not easy. I know some people have medical issues which cause weight gain and I feel so desperately sorry for them because it is out if their hands and that must be soul destroying.

Medical issues including mental health, the fact that healthy food is expensive (although I think there is a knowledge and skills gap here, you can eat healthy on a budget but some people don’t know how).

We are also bombarded with advertising and special offers on unhealthy food. When was the last time you saw buy one get one on free on brocolli?

And let’s be honest we all have nights when all we can be bothered doing is chucking a frozen pizza in the oven.

But this is people who are so big that it’s detrimental to their health, I just don’t think that’s to be celebrated.

Hurray .. another thread to make comments, assumptions, and judgments on other women’s bodies.

Fat-Bashing threads are a constant on MN… and to be honest, pretty boring. (and don’t claim that this isn’t a “fat bashing” thread, of course it is)

it will be filled with people telling us to eat fewer calories, and exercise … but don’t use injections to lose weight it’s cheating.

…and how long until someone tells us what a drain we are on the NHS.

Boring

Body weight is such an emotive subject for so many people that it’s difficult to talk about it without upsetting people. It should be possible to support people feeling positive about themselves (whatever their weight) without celebrating unhealthy lifestyle choices. Obviously from a practical perspective services and products are calibrated for the ‘average’ person with a certain working range. Obviously this means that not everything is ever going to be suitable for 100% of people.

As someone who has been obese teetering on morbidly obese, yes it's a dangerous mindset and a mindset I myself used to stay in my fat body for far longer than was probably good for my poor heart and other assorted organs. I've heard all the "health at every size" excuses come out of my own mouth and that's absolutely what they were, excuses. But denial is a very powerful thing.

I had to learn that loving my body actually meant doing what was right by it and losing weight, not just shrugging my shoulders and accepting my size. Did I deserve to be treated like a human being at my large size? Abso fucking lutely, and that's what anti-fatphobic rhetoric used to be about. It's morphed into something else though now, an expectation that the entire world change to accomodation ever increasing sizes.

Did I deserve to be treated like I wasn't obese? No. Was I entitled to the world being changed for my comfort when my discomfort was being caused by something I had done to myself? No. Is it "thin privilege" to be able to fit in a bus seat comfortably? No. It's "fat consequences" that I couldn't.

"I'm not looking to judge, I get that this a complex issue but AIBU to think this is such a dangerous mentality?
It’s the same as if there was a pro smoking or pro sunbathing without suncream movement is it not?"

You are judging, you're calling it a dangerous mentality which is a judgement. Hence you asking if you are being unreasonable in that judgement and wanting people to discuss your judgement.

Are these influencers suggesting that people should become morbidly obese, or are they asking for more organisations to cater for people who are much larger?

I have no problem with these types of influencers calling for organisations to cater for them. I don't have to agree with them that organisations should cater for them. Clearly airlines are a very specific situation where weight and size are relevant and if you are much larger than the norm you will not fit into standard size seats. These things are market driven - if airlines see a demand then they may start to cater for it.

So well written. This a million times over.

Given that everyone is getting larger, changes will be needed.

Shareholders won't accept less profit so fees will go up. Instead of 200 people paying £1000, 100 people will pay £2000.

Junk food companies will lobby government til the end of time to keep their shitty food in our supermarkets, don't forget fastfood and rows of Takeaway Allys too...all these companies have shareholders in the game and government won't do anything to stop the "growth" of the economy, even if the NHS and the health of the citizens pay the price.

It's devastating that literally 2/3 of the supermarket is junk food, but what that tells you is that 2/3 of food companies would oppose change, plus supermarkets profiting from it, weight loss industry etc.

The economy cant afford for society to be healthy. Let that sink in.

Fair point re the poll I guess.

But as I said, we know smoking is bad, we don’t encourage it. I mean I don’t walk up to a smoker and start lecturing them on it. But I wouldn’t start a pro smoking online campaign because it’s bad for their health.

Travel is the most common one but I saw another where someone was saying if theh go to their doctor they shut down any conversation about their weight because that’s not what they want to talk about. So encouraging people not to listen to healthcare providers who are trying to improve their health, talking about the importance of having boundaries etc. Which is their job! Just such an unhealthy attitude. If I was a smoker I’d expect my doctor to tell me it would be better for my health to stop.

Are you aware that people who are obese can struggle to get any input from their GP about ongoing conditions because they are told to lose weight, and that's the end of the discussion? And of course, in the UK, the NHS does not offer any effective help for weight management. The tiers that are offered are ineffective with lengthy waits, if they are accessible at all. Many are closed to new referrals. I think people who are obese know that they are obese, and don't need to have a conversation about it at every appointment for any issue that they might have.

Supermarkets quite regularly do special offers on fruit and veg.

Well no, these women are proactively posting on Instagram to name and shame the airline and infer that it’s absolutely normal to require what is the equivalent of two seats and aren’t the airlines unreasonable. They via Instagram are inserting themselves into people’s social media feeds, people aren’t seeking these posts out.

IMO the issue is too often that people who are used to living largely on fatty/fast food, just don’t like the taste of ‘healthy’ food, and typically won’t be keen on vegetables.

A very overweight friend of ours was typical - lots of pies, pastries, etc. - but the only vegetables ever on his plate were a very small piece of broccoli and a small stick or two of carrot. Funnily enough, his wife felt much the same about vegetables, especially green ones - and she was Swedish!

Are you actually joking? You think there’s a knowledge gap there? That some people just don’t know? Wow! Seriously. So you think fat people are stupid? Uneducated? I literally cannot believe I just read that. You think there’s a knowledge gap there? Fuck me.

I’m gong to have to pretend this thread doesn’t exist for my own sanity.

In terms of people (not just overweight people) lacking knowledge and skills on cooking from scratch? Yes I do. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying it.

I agree. There is no hope in attaining a healthier populace whilst governments are in hoc to food manufacturers and supermarkets.

We need a government to be brave. I can't ever see this happening so instead more money will be spent by the NHS dealing with the consequences of their inaction and cowardice.

I think it's healthy to promote a positive body image for all shapes and sizes. We live in a world where fat people feel shame and disgust at their own bodies.

People don't generally worry about the health of complete strangers, but many will judge them, and present it as concern.

Unless you're brand new to Mumsnet and to the internet in general, you should know that internet forums are full of people asking for advice on how to eat healthily on a budget, so yes of course for some, there's a knowledge and skills gap there.

If you think that makes them 'stupid' and 'uneducated' you should hang your head in shame.

People ask for help and advice because they want to make changes, not because they're too stupid to work it out for themselves 😡

i can’t.

Can’t what, type coherently?

It's true though. A lot of people don't know how to cook healthy. There IS a knowledge gap. There's plenty of people on here alone who will admit they can't cook beyond 'if it's brown, it's done, if it's black, it's buggered.'

I'm heavy because I eat shit and that is because I cannot stand the taste of vegetables. However they are cooked. Potatoes are sometimes tolerated. I do know how to cook but just don't like the taste. But cooking unhealthy food IS easier. Chucking pizza in the oven or boiling some pasta or frying up some bacon and eggs is easy. Busy people will go for fast and simple every time rather than following unfamiliar recipes.

Exactly.

And it's attitude's like @Iloveyoubut's that prevent some people from asking for help, for fear of being labeled 'stupid' and 'uneducated'.