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Original poster

New job tomorrow, incredibly stressed

38 replies

IceCreamWoes · 02/02/2025 18:27

I'm not really sure why I'm posting. I would really like some reassuring replies, and some support.
I start a new 'big girl' job tomorrow. I'm usually fairly calm and take things in my stride but I'm feeling on the verge of a panic attack. I am a single parent who has managed working full time since I went back to work after my maternity leaves and my children are primary school aged now.

I have stupidly left buying my season ticket to the last minute and didn't realise I couldn't buy one online without a smart card which will take 5 days to arrive so I'll have to buy a day ticket. More expensive but not end of the world but I'm catastrophising this.

I'm panicking about getting the kids out the door on time and to breakfast club. I've paid for an extra early session and that's all in hand, but I'm convinced I'll miss my train.

Then I'm thinking even if I get it, it'll be cancelled or delayed.

And I might make a total idiot of myself in this job. But there's no evidence of that. They've given me the bloody job, and everyone who knows me says I'll be great.

I think I must be having a wobble and putting all my anxiety in these tiny problems.

I bought a new necklace yesterday and can't find it anywhere and I'm uncharacteristically upset and blowing that out of proportion. I have gone through all the bags and even the bin and outside bin, and it's not anywhere. I'm in tears about it. It's so strange.

My heart is beating out of my chest. I can't concentrate on anything. I can't eat.

I have laid out the kids clothes, I've packed my bag, organised myself as much as possible.

What is wrong with me, is this normal. Can anyone talk me down. What should I do?

OP posts:
dotdotdotdash · 02/02/2025 18:33

It’s okay, it’s normal. It is a big deal starting a new job, especially when you’re commuting and have young children. Take some deep breaths, write down any fears you’re having to get them off your mind, ask for a hug and maybe have a warm shower. It’ll get easier when it feels more familiar.

Cofffee · 02/02/2025 18:34

Other people know you more than we do. Your employer hired you because they are confident in you. They all said you'll be absolutely fine, so you will be absolutely fine ❤️

Thedogscollar · 02/02/2025 18:36

Oh bless you OP.
First day nerves are to be expected.
Early night to be up on time tomorrow with kids, then onto work.
You sound enthusiastic which is great and will show your positive attitude.
Ask questions listen to others and make a good impression on your team.
Goodluck and I'm sure the necklace will turn up when you least expect it.

Creamcak · 02/02/2025 18:37

Just do the best you can to organise yourself. It is natural to be nervous.

Robotcustard · 02/02/2025 18:40

Oh love, I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it will all be absolutely fine. It’ll all look so different in the morning. Don't stress about the necklace, it will show up when you’re not so stressed. Deep breaths, camomile tea, take a step outside.

NameChanges123 · 02/02/2025 18:42

I'm sure it's normal. Starting a new job is a massive thing and it sounds like you have a lot to organise.

By this time tomorrow, your first day will be over and all will be well.

Good luck!!

(I started a new job last year - I wasn't too nervous as I was starting with a long training period and starting with other people.)

Original poster
IceCreamWoes · 02/02/2025 18:53

Thank you everyone, you are all right. Just need to get it out the way. I wish I'd planned to have a break between finishing old job Fri and starting this one but too late now. My head and heart are pounding! I think I'm not used to feeling like this so it all feels unmanageable. What a silly billy!

Off to have a herbel tea and when the kids go to sleep, think I'll go to bed!

Really appreciate your replies.

OP posts:
Dumbles · 02/02/2025 18:56

If it helps first days are usually just sorting the IT out and meeting people, online learning, getting access to systems etc. So I really wouldn’t worry. You’ll be grand.

Original poster
IceCreamWoes · 02/02/2025 19:01

Dumbles · 02/02/2025 18:56

If it helps first days are usually just sorting the IT out and meeting people, online learning, getting access to systems etc. So I really wouldn’t worry. You’ll be grand.

I know, exactly! It will fly by, and people will all be nice and friendly. I'll be reading policies etc most of the day I'm sure!

I just need to think about each step.

  1. get up on time (6.30am)
  2. get kids ready and drop them off (7.30am)
  3. straight to the station to buy ticket (7.45am)
  4. get on the train (8am)
  5. walk to the office (9.30am)

From then I'll be fine! Just feel like there's loads of chances for shit to go wrong. But none of this went wrong in last job so need to think logically!

OP posts:
isthatmyage · 02/02/2025 19:01

OP you'll be fine, day one nerves are normal. Sounds like you're pretty organised ahead of tomorrow apart from the season ticket! There's a saying 'ask a busy mum' and it's so true, we get so much done. Good luck and most of all enjoy it 😊

icecreamscoops · 02/02/2025 19:03
Have a look at this Ted talk by Amy cuddy it's basically about putting yourself into a power pose and fake it it's been proven to help people feel more confident
Moonnstars · 02/02/2025 19:06

Nerves are normal.
Remember they hired you for a reason.
If worried about the train just make sure you have the company phone number in case there are issues.
Good luck

surreygirl1987 · 02/02/2025 19:10

I always feel like that when I start a new job. Partly why I don't move jobs very often! I suspect these feelings are very normal. You'll be fine once you're there - it's the anticipation that's so horrible. Think how amazing you'll feel tomorrow when that scary first day is out of the way. And plan something nice for Friday evening to look forward to. Wishing you the best of luck... let us know how it all goes!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/02/2025 19:14

I read recently that being new in a job feels like youre a new character appearing in series 5 of a tv program.
Spot on ime.
I started a new job 5 months ago and I was terrified but everyone was welcoming and I feel part of the furniture now.

SausageRoll2020 · 02/02/2025 19:16

You'll be fine, starting a new job is always nerve wracking. Try to have as calm and evening as possible tonight and plan a really easy tea or even a takeaway for tomorrow evening, so that once you get home you can just flop.

As you're just buying a day ticket, get on the Trainline app and buy it now, then you'll have one less thing to do in the morning

Wheresmybrianat · 02/02/2025 19:17

Can you purchase a weekly season ticket on the train operators app? I buy weekly tickets on Southern this way. I just needed to upload a photo.
I started a new job the beginning of the year and had all the same feeling you have. Three weeks in and all the doubts have gone. You'll be grand. Good luck and well done for smashing the interview!

Original poster
IceCreamWoes · 02/02/2025 19:19

I'm greater anglia and annoyingly you need the smart card for any season ticket and it takes 5 days to arrive the website said.

I had an old one, but it's expired when I tried to use it but no date on it so I hadn't anticipated it not working! But I will buy the day ticket now, great idea. Didn't think about that!

OP posts:
maudelovesharold · 02/02/2025 19:20

Absolutely no-one will expect you to waltz in on day one and have the job sussed, op! Try and relax. In a couple of weeks’ time, you’ll probably feel like you’ve been there forever!
Edited to say good luck!

TokyoSushi · 02/02/2025 19:35

Oh bless you, I can feel your stress coming off the page.

You're fine, it's fine, you're going to be fine.

Do absolutely everything you can for the morning tonight and then get yourself in bed as soon as possible.

Have a great day and come back and let us know how you get on. I'll be thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
IceCreamWoes · 02/02/2025 19:53

That's all so kind, thank you everyone. I feel a million times better. Bought my ticket; it was cheaper than expected!
Going to read my book and stop doom scrolling. Not good for stress levels. My clothes are also laid out for tomorrow. I bought new tights and pants yesterday too, felt like a good idea. What a weirdo.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 02/02/2025 19:55

IceCreamWoes · 02/02/2025 19:53

That's all so kind, thank you everyone. I feel a million times better. Bought my ticket; it was cheaper than expected!
Going to read my book and stop doom scrolling. Not good for stress levels. My clothes are also laid out for tomorrow. I bought new tights and pants yesterday too, felt like a good idea. What a weirdo.

Are you me? 😅

You'll do great. And even if it doesn't go perfectly... that's okay too. It's literally just one day in your life.

BeFluentNavyBee · 02/02/2025 20:06

Ahh, OP just want to give you a big hug! It's scary starting a new job, so give yourself a break and try and breathe. Nobody will expect you to be amazing on your first day and once it's over with, you'll feel so much better. The second day isn't nearly as scary. You've got this! 🤗

TokyoSushi · 03/02/2025 07:24

Good luck today! 

MyProudHare · 03/02/2025 07:36

Good luck today, OP!

babbi · 03/02/2025 07:37

Good luck OP .
Please try to remember you were hired for a reason .
They are lucky 🍀 to have you !

Don’t worry about the normal things that happen out with your control , train delays etc ..

it’s unfortunate but it happens and your new colleagues will be sympathetic “ bless on her first day etc .. that’s all she needed etc “

Please come back this evening and lets us know you’re ok 🙏

As a manager I’d be delighted to read all your preparations as a new start . Organised and putting thought and energy into everything .
As a mother myself I would be rooting for you and supporting you .

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