My Partners Family Are Insane!

[UnknownLad94]

Hi everyone i hope you're all well,

I have been with my partner for just over 3 years, i always have had a difficult relationship his family.

They are incredibly controlling and nosy.

It's all come a head recently, my partner sold his sister his old car for a £100 a month for 5 years (at the time she had financial difficulties) she agreed to this and we asked for a contract to be made up.

However his parents objected to this stating 'It's his sister she wouldn't do him over'

Well....a week ago she said she needed a new car and didn't want the one we sold her.

Within 24 hours she had bought a new car...she was abusive to my partner over text saying 'See you in Court' and 'What Contract?'

She has refused to pay the £100 for the month of January saying the payment for December was for January.

She also lied to my in laws about the contract saying the final 2 years we expected her to be £400 (Which was never the case)

My partners mum has agreed to take on the car for the remaining 4 years of the contract to 'Keep the peace and a happy family and not to have a wedge within the family'

Naturally i am livid about the situation, but my partner is of the approach 'It's all sorted now don't rock the boat'

Am i right to be angry about this?

I can't shake the anger towards them.

certaibly wouldn’t do the sister in law any favours ever again. However I agree with your husband, it’s sorted now MIL taking it on. So why keep it going on and on, don’t achieve nor change anything.

Well it is all sorted. You’ll get your money as agreed. I don’t think you can hold this against your DP’s parents. They obviously realise their daughter is in the wrong and are trying to keep the peace and sort it out,

Going forward, you don’t have to engage or have much/anything to do with his sister. Hello, goodbye, etc when you meet and leave it at that.

I would be angry because they’re essentially letting their daughter get away with breaking her word to pay your DP and why should her parents have to pay to bail her out because she changed her mind after making a commitment?!

Having said that, if her parents want to enable her to make those sorts of decisions then I would just say let them so you’re not out of pocket and never ever do SIL any more favours.

But yeah, entitlement and enabling behaviours are incredibly frustrating!

I just can't understand these people, they are so blinded by her it's unreal!

Your SIL sounds awful but your in-laws sound great and have helped you out tremendously in this situation. I’d never help SIL again though

So his sister didn’t trade the car in ? It’s been passed to his mother for which she has agreed to pay the remaining balance?

Did sister speak to your partner prior to purchasing another car or did she just expect him to have it back?Had she already made arrangements for her mother to have it?

Nope she told us 2 days before January's payment was due that she didn't want the car.

Within 24 hours she had a new car refused to pay January's payment his mum decided to take on the remainder of the contract which is 4 years.

So sil agreed a 5 year contract but changed her mind a year later.

Its generally best not get involved financially with family you have a difficult relationship with.

Edited because I got my dates mixed up.

Did your PIL give her the money for the new car? If she has financial difficulties, how did she afford a new car otherwise? Because if they KNEW she was buying your DPs old car and STILL gave her money to buy a new one - they are all a problem. If she got the money some other way, then SIL is the problem.
Not that you can do anything about any of it. Just grit your teeth and keep your distance.

I would respond.

Dear SIL,

Our contract is with you and we have written proof. As you have refused to pay then you are now in arrears. We are giving you 7 days to pay up otherwise we will make a claim through the Small Claims Court.
Etc.

So this second hand car is worth 6k? If she's had it for a month, then it will hardly have depreciated in value. Why can't your husband just ask her to change the ownership back over to him and he can sell it privately? Is he seriously squabbling over £100 when he's got a spare 6k car to sell?

Both me and my partner are at a loss as how she's got a new car on Finance when last year her finances were shot and couldn't afford a Coffee a week.

I am a financial advisor for a large bank and i went through everything with her when we sold her the car.

How she has done this is beyond me.

No she has had the car for a year, at a massively reduced payment rate.

Well I would have thought she guilted her parents into paying for it. Probably saying that an 'old car' (can't be THAT old, at that price) wasn't safe/efficient. Which is why MIL has taken on her debt, because they feel slightly guilty.

Can you not sell the car?

How on earth is that any of your business!? You are way too involved in your BOYFRIENDS sisters life.

Get the car back and sell it

Okay so the car is actually worth way more than 6k. So your boyfriend can just have his car back, and then sell it for what it is worth at full market value, having banked £1200 (or £1100?) from his sister to account for any potential loss of value from it being a year older. He's hardly out of pocket, is he?

I suspect you just enjoy gossiping about her as the 'black sheep' of the family... But you're not married, so she's not your family!

So you saw it as hp she saw it as a lease, take it back and sell it

I would not be comfortable taking the money off in laws

i would sell the car and cut your losses
I would have very minimal contact with sil

Take the car back and sell it. There has been no formal contract, so tell her she leased it. The in-laws will probably go along with it as it will save them money and keep their adult DC happy.

Never help the SIL again.

Don't do the SIL any more favours, she's a spoilt unreliable brat.

However your MIL has taken on the car so you will not be out of pocket. It is now between your DP and his mum to sort out. I'd keep out of it.

If she doesn’t want the car you sold her anymore can’t you just sell the car to somebody else? Why is her mum having to take on the payments? If she’s only had it a year surely it can’t have depreciated that much in value?

Not really your business to be honest.

Partners car, his sister and his parents.

Keep out of it and avoid the sister at all costs.