How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

* on minimum wage*
Current salary until 31st March 2025

• 40 hours per week: £11.44 x 40 x 52 = £23,795 per annum (pre tax)
• 37.5 hours per week: £11.44 x 37.5 x 52 = £22,308 per annum (pre tax)

Salary from April 1st 2025

• 40 hours per week: £12.21 x 40 x 52 = £25,396 per annum (pre tax)
• 37.5 hours per week: £12.21 x 37.5 x 52 = £23,809 per annum (pre tax)

so combined income plus fact zero childcare costs… means they’re pulling the wool over your eyes op

At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent.

You're not though, are you? They can't afford their rent because they both have car loans/insurance/tax/petrol/running costs and are earning not much more than minimum wage. They need to grow up and take responsibility instead of expecting their parents to bail them out every month.

It's tough and the only way I've managed to get a de ent wage is by changing jobs every 2/3 yrs. Pre covid I was earning £5k v p/t nmw job, I did a few free courses via my local college. Then went for a £12k p/t job & stayed 2 yrs learning lots of skills & gaining more qualifications. Then went for a £25k job for 18 months & now have just secured a £40k job.

Unfortunately ,internal pay rises in the public sector is dire. Working for a private company in certain sectors such as finance etc is the only way to increase your salary. Your dd should look at ways of increasing her salary instead of relying on bail outs from family. They should review all expenditure, cut out treats and transfer to better deals for utilities and subscriptions. I suspect they're living beyond their means.

We are left with about £1000 a month for general living, clothes, days out, hair cuts, meals out, fun basically.

Which is about £250 a week, but at the moment we are also spending £240 a month on me learning to drive. So about £750 a month to spend as we'd like. Which I know seems fine and it is I'm not complaining but £187 a week split between 5 people dosnt equate to a lot.

our mortgage is £700 including insurances.
car finance, petrol tax and insurance £500
all other bills and debt payments equates to the rest. We are working really hard to get our outgoing down this year, and if we follow the plan we will be debt free by Christmas so that'll sort us right out. I can't wait.

So is it holidays, hair, nails, gym, botox, what is it? If they are having to take money from relatives, that sort of thing needs to stop.

They bring in over 3k per month between them, don't have to pay for childcare and only have rent of £860 - so where's the other 2k+ going? Because life isn't that expensive.

My ds yes. He plans to buy a property next year as an investment. Not to live in. I don't ask for much money from him as I have no mortgage.

@TicklishRubyCritic I've done my sums, & still does not equate to "coming out with about £4 a month" as a pp guessed at

@Allthenameshavegone1972 there'www.moneysavingethere's a budgeting calculator on the MSE website to send to your dd.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/

So what do your sums say they have and where is the rest of their money going, based on your observations of what they do and buy?

It's £3350 a month plus child benefit plus any overtime.

So more than enough for rent of £860.

That money is going somewhere... they really shouldn't be struggling!

I'd suggest they sit down with someone who is good at finances and go though all their outgoings.

Perhaps they smoke or buy booze.

Sorry op but people are not going to be helpful because your daughter shouldn't be in this situation.
NMW at 37 hours a week should allow a take home of about £1630. So they should be bringing home over £3200 plus overtime you mention. You say DGS is in school so minimal childcare costs? So there is no reason they shouldn't be able to afford rent regularly unless something else is going on such as debts, over committing to finance etc. you frankly seem on denial and unwilling to hear this though.

deleted - post I was replying to seems to have disappeared😐

Having to drive to work can be incredibly expensive. We can spend £400 a month on petrol alone. Insurance plus maintenence add up also. And that's without car loans (we pay cash for our used cars). And before someone says public transport...that is not a viable opinion everywhere

So their joint take home should be at least £3,300.

With no childcare costs and a relatively low rent they should be ok. But I’m guessing the car payments are hitting quite hard.

I did vote YANBU though, everything is so expensive these days.

I hate to say it but i suspect a drugs/cocaine and/or booze habit.

Agree with this

OP says they only have a 30 minute commute. They shouldn't have maintenance either if their cars are on finance?

Depends how lavish they live. Do they go regularly to pound shops like I do?

I cut and dye my own hair. Stopped beauticians at the start of the cost of living crisis etc.

Not everybody likes to go without.

The youngster today want what we have achieved over the years, forgetting what we have sacrificed and scrimped and saved. I’m the same age as yourself and it’s not on that somehow they always expect to be bailed out and life is so tough.

After the first year of buying our first house mortgage interest rates went through the roof, early 90’s. Expectations on life and belongings have changed so much, we’ve scrimped and saved so much in the early years we still find it difficult to be frivolous 🤪. Our daughter would get through our monthly income in no time, she’s very bloody annoying. Moans about how much she spends on food and bills etc, I leave her to it now, they have at least 4k coming in between them and their rent on a small flat is £475. The fact that they have finance on a fancy fuck off car, smoke weed and generally waste money is ridiculous.

On a good day, my commute can be done in 35 minutes... and it still costs £200 a month. And I drive a small, very non fancy car

They currently have a combined income of over £46k a year
From April it will be £49500 a year
plus child benefit

it won’t be far off £4k a month

so what is their monthly income and why are you so reluctant to share

And it is a shit show nowadays. Yes, we has high interest rates back in the day, but average house prices were about 3 times a joint salary. Now they are what, about 10 or 11 times? Wages have definately not kept up with the cost of housing 😡

Your daughter and her husband are pulling are fast one on you op sadly