To wonder what it’s like to have a quiet mind?

[GrumpyWombat]

I’ve been referred for an ADHD assessment and I think I’ve only just realised that not everyone has a mishmash of constant thoughts/dialogue going on in their brain… I’m becoming quite overwhelmed when it comes to tasks at work and at home and it’s playing on my mind a lot. I do thinks like Google answers to questions I’m thinking about a lot, I have to play a game while I’m watching TV and still find my mind wandering. Getting to sleep if I’m not absolutely shattered is hard work. I’ve been on anxiety meds on and off for 16 years…

Hahaha I've just seen this after posting and that's exactly what I posted and described it as to my DH years ago. Going to send him this.

ADHD and ASC here
Very busy mind. Husband said he imagines my mind as a really chaotic ocean filled with so much interesting stuff but just far too much of it to ever get through, whereas his is a little idyllic waterfall corner where the occasional bird flies past 😂

@AyrnotAir oh how I want a brain that goes blank! My DH is the same as yours, he just goes to sleep with no thoughts. I never realised this was a real thing 🤣

@blueshoes exactly! And those guided meditations that mention balloons drifting into the sky! 🫣 It's like counting sheep, all the blooming sheep turn around at the fence and won't jump or start eating the grass, and the buggers who start to fly to the moon. They annoy me. 😁

Same, love reading, it's like a full immersive experience

Apparently DH's brain can do quiet.
He always was weird 🙄😂

Brain currently scanning for Bergerac theme tune, but currently playing Howards Way (because it's the right era) while I sound out the words as I type.

At least the constant chatter and music is a nice distraction from the tinitusy hum and whistle.

Two ND children with noisy brains.

When DS1 started school he was nervous that the teacher would tell him off for talking because his internal monologue was busy while he should be listening. He was relieved to find out it was in his head and no one else could hear it.

LOL. I'm now about to try and turn the music off and tell everyone in my head to shush, it's time for sleep. Looking forward to that moment of clarity which will snap in at 05.00 so that I'm wide awake at stupid o'clock. 🙄

Is this not all normal?

I have a quiet mind. I also cant see anything in my '3rd eye' - I close my eyes to see a red apple - but I can't see a red apple. I see nothing.

I'm exactly like you but without the anxiety. Though like everyone I do get anxious at times. For me life is structured to be wired on. It's very rarely I can watch tv without also having my phone in my hand- like now.

I have heard the same about meds if you have both autism and adhd…I suspect I might do 🥴 I’ve also heard they can dampen people’s creativity.

This is very real and that's why adhd medications are controlled. They're not an easy fix and can make people with ASD more anxious, rigid or inflexible.

I'd say I have a quiet mind. I don't have running dialogue except on rare occasions when I'm imagining what I'd like to say to someone (like an imaginary argument with someone who has upset me). When I go to sleep I think of nothing or just let thoughts kind of drift in and out of my head.

I sometimes have songs stuck in my head but usually don't think about music. I rarely listen to music outside of the car, I really hate background noise in the house like the radio or TV unless I'm actively paying sole attention to it. It's like audible clutter and stresses me out.

I love reading. I don't know how to describe the experience though. I don't hear myself reading it in my head or see it like TV. But I could describe how I imagine the characters looking. It's more like imagining a series of still images seen out of the corner of my eye I suppose.

I am anxious about things but have a quiet mind. Sometimes it feels too quiet and I tell myself stories to fill the gaps.

I was in my early 20s when a friend raised the notion of having a constant inner monologue. I've not experienced that. I have occasional thoughts around food, bed, comfort and go for days without thinking a word beyond that.

But something must be going on in there because ask me for an idea on something I know about and a huge tsunami of ideas tumble out, or ask me a question and I'll pull some random facts from deep within the abyss like recesses of the mind surprising me let alone anyone else.

I've been called a dark horse but in truth I just have a brain filled with filing cabinets for all the brain fluff you pick up along the way. Nothing useful at all, like how to work the washing machine or where the remote is, but if you want a quote from Augustine of Hippo, or Roman military weapons and tactics, or the life cycle of aphids I'm there like a shot. But the one thing I am absolutely not doing the vast majority of the time is thinking about any of them.

Is a busy mind a terrible thing? At least it's not a bored mind?
I love running different streams of thoughts, including odd things like imaging the view of me watching me from above, and that conversation I started midday and had a point I didn't follow up how I meant to and may have come across as unusual, so I'll run it with different outcomes. I have no idea if it's normal, but when I've tried mindfulness I've recalled old memories (places, people, smells), there's never nothing.
People seeing the surface view of me tell me I'm calm and organised 🤣
Are we all a bit like this?

I'm just responding to the previous posters about meditation. I was initially like that, and sometimes I completely fail when I meditate! I can't quiet my mind for long either, I'm lucky to get a few minutes before having to restart again. However, I think that practise and consistency helps. I don't mean to sound patronising there, it's just what I've been told. Also, the Buddhist nun where I go said that people need ten minutes prior to meditating to prepare and tell themselves that they're going to meditate. It might sound woo but I've had a lot of trauma and it really has helped me!

Getting back into running has too but, more than anything, yoga has been amazing. I can't believe all the years I've been on anti-depressants yet yoga and meditation have been a life-changer for me!

I was on a chat on here a few weeks ago about beginning multiple hobbies and then getting obsessed with them! Others who experienced the same also felt that they were neurodivergent. Being aware that I do that has made me nervous about starting new things however, the above has stuck! It's just a few suggestions anyway ☺️

Ahh meditation is different.

Meditation takes quite a lot of practise as your mind can still wander (like I fancy a biscuit, did I leave the gas on) even if you are skilled. You need to practise at least once a day but preferably twice for shorter lengths of time.

It's a really useful and healthy skill to have and if you are in the right mood you eventually can slip in and out of meditation easily.

I cannot imagine what a quiet mind is like. Surely it is perfectly normal to always have background thoughts or dialogue?

I really have no reason to suspect I am ADHD or any other string of letters. Actually I think I am probably as NT as they come.

Does everybody these days want a diagnosis to make them different?

This is called aphantasia

Why is it a useful and healthy skill? Not sure I see the point.

Really useful for lowering blood pressure, better sleep, reduces anxiety, can help with pain relief, asthma, depression, IBS, headaches and as K-Tel used to say and many more.

It's also useful skill when you're getting upset, it refocusses the mind, causes you to slow down and puts you in a frame of mind to consider what you say or do. It can help with patience, negative feelings, as well as creativity. If you are a sports player it can help empty the mind of any stray thought and sharpen focus so you are on your game.

Easier if you have a naturally quiet mind. Presumably life is pretty calm anyway for someone who can just sit there forgetting about the time.

Not sure about the benefits of forcing a mind to 'meditate' when it would prefer to freewheel elsewhere. My mind will be like 'erm, am I meditating yet?' and 'when can I go?', 'wonder what my neighbour is doing', 'what's for lunch', 'should I close my eyes', 'dum dee dum <imagines fingers drumming>', 'how's my blood pressure doing'. Easier to go with the flow.

I have multiple.layers of thoughts of various types running at all times. Not anxious ones (unless I have something specific to be anxious about). Just stuff. Interesting lines of mental enquiry.

But unlike some PP it doesn't mean I have trouble with exterior quietness, or with being alone. Quite the contrary - it's absolutely impossible for me to be bored in my own company, because I have such a wide choice of options to tune into.

I was just answering your question in that post, I'm not trying to convince you to meditate. That's your choice.

You cannot force meditation, that is impossible. The ability to meditate is not down to whether you have a busy or quiet mind, anyone can do it if they want, it requires practise, everyone and I mean everyone has issues with mind not complying at times.

You are unsure meditation has benefits, fine.

And I also recognise the phone (or book) plus TV scenario. Even subtitled programmes - in fact especially those, because foreign dramas tend to have more things I want to look up.

I never asked my grandmother about what her brain was up.to, but I suspect it was similar. She'd quite often listen to a radio programme while reading a book and knitting. Sometimes she'd also have the snooker on TV (muted) to follow a match at the same time.

And she had stacks of notebooks of interesting things she'd found out and wanted to look into further. Opera plots, quantum mechanics, medical discoveries, jam recipes, all jumbled in together.

My mind is quiet, I've never known any different but other peoples descriptions of constant monologues and multiple thoughts at once sounds exhausting.

Mine is just me in my head choosing what to think and it's calm.