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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what it’s like to have a quiet mind?

80 replies

GrumpyWombat · 31/01/2025 21:03

I’ve been referred for an ADHD assessment and I think I’ve only just realised that not everyone has a mishmash of constant thoughts/dialogue going on in their brain… I’m becoming quite overwhelmed when it comes to tasks at work and at home and it’s playing on my mind a lot. I do thinks like Google answers to questions I’m thinking about a lot, I have to play a game while I’m watching TV and still find my mind wandering. Getting to sleep if I’m not absolutely shattered is hard work. I’ve been on anxiety meds on and off for 16 years…

OP posts:
Britneyfan · 31/01/2025 21:32

I suspect I have ADHD and I do have bipolar disorder and definitely do not have a quiet mind. Mostly I think I’d actually hate that and find it boring. I like my mind’s creativity and random tangents. Though I do think it would be nice when I am very depressed to not have lots of very depressing thoughts all the time!

Hellohellobello · 31/01/2025 21:38

Ooohhh this is interesting. My mind is a round of constant noise and a voice. Even now the voice in my head is reading out the words I’m typing.
When I’m having a conversation with someone and it’s not flowing, the voice in my head says something along the lines of “this is awkward, what do I say next?” I’m scared that one day I will just repeat out loud what the voice inside my head is saying.

marriednotdead · 31/01/2025 21:40

I have reluctantly accepted that I probably have inattentive ADHD quite recently. I can cope with the noise most of the time but 8D bilateral stimulation music has been a wonderful discovery.
An antihistamine taken late afternoon is the only way I get a full night’s sleep and it’s more effective than I expected.

PumpkinSpicedLatte · 31/01/2025 21:40

We were talking about this at work(Hospital staff), and it became quite the discussion! I have a history of post natal mental health problems and was quite unwell for a year or so (PPP), and my mind was loud then. But it is a distant memory, because other than that my mind is really calm. I’d say 80% of my colleagues said they have running thoughts, music, inner monologues. Myself and a couple of others have nothing if we are not actively thinking. They were mind blown when I said I go to bed and just go to sleep 🤣🤣

Whotenanny · 31/01/2025 21:43

I have a very quiet mind. There's minimal to zero internal dialogue. I used to do a lot of long distance running, and I'd completely switch off. I'd only think about what I could see in front of me. Bliss!

0psiedasiy · 31/01/2025 21:50

@Octavia64 i have cats, I also love to listen to the birds, except it doesn’t stop there, I want to know what bird, what does it look like etc which led me to an app which identifies birds by their tweets, I can recognise over twenty birds from their tweets- it just doesn’t stop!

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 31/01/2025 21:53

My mind never stops. It is like it's "on" all the time. But even at work I noticed I am a fast worker. And wonder if it's down to my thought process speed! :D

I too think I have ADHD but I can't be bothered going through the rigmarole of a diagnosis

My husband says he can just not have anything going on in his head at all which seems insane to me! I can't even imagine it

JLou08 · 31/01/2025 21:59

I feel content when my mind is quiet. I have times where it is fully and intensely focused on one thing and I love that feeling too.

blueshoes · 31/01/2025 22:04

Whotenanny · 31/01/2025 21:43

I have a very quiet mind. There's minimal to zero internal dialogue. I used to do a lot of long distance running, and I'd completely switch off. I'd only think about what I could see in front of me. Bliss!

That makes sense. I have a busy mind and cannot bear walking or running for long distances. I would need at least music to tune out the monotony. My worst nightmare would be solitary confinement. I think my brain will eat itself alive.

twilightermummy · 31/01/2025 22:04

I suspect I have ADHD too. I started attended the Buddhist temple in my area last year and they talk about mind chatter a lot. It's really helped me.
You don't need to become religious, they won't try and recruit you! But the teachings are very enlightening. If you don't want to do that then you could look into the Pema Chodron books or, listen to her speak on Audible.
Another suggestion is the Calm app.

GrumpyWombat · 31/01/2025 22:11

Hellohellobello · 31/01/2025 21:38

Ooohhh this is interesting. My mind is a round of constant noise and a voice. Even now the voice in my head is reading out the words I’m typing.
When I’m having a conversation with someone and it’s not flowing, the voice in my head says something along the lines of “this is awkward, what do I say next?” I’m scared that one day I will just repeat out loud what the voice inside my head is saying.

I do this too, and end up with verbal diarrhoea to fill the gaps, then worry for days later that I’ve embarrassed myself!

OP posts:
GrumpyWombat · 31/01/2025 22:12

0psiedasiy · 31/01/2025 21:50

@Octavia64 i have cats, I also love to listen to the birds, except it doesn’t stop there, I want to know what bird, what does it look like etc which led me to an app which identifies birds by their tweets, I can recognise over twenty birds from their tweets- it just doesn’t stop!

This is me! 😂

OP posts:
Youcanttakeanelephantonthebus · 31/01/2025 22:18

GrumpyWombat · 31/01/2025 22:11

I do this too, and end up with verbal diarrhoea to fill the gaps, then worry for days later that I’ve embarrassed myself!

Yes me too. And for years I was under the impression I was just really good at talking to new people and being sociable and it has now just dawned on me that I'm the most irritating person ever and have no social skills at all!

ssd · 31/01/2025 22:28

I was thinking about this recently..dh had a day off work the other week, mid week....he stayed home, relaxed, had an afternoon nap, didn't go shopping, didn't worry about dinner, basically had a nice relaxing day to himself....I don't ever do nothing on my days off and i was jealous he is so content he can relax and do this. If i do nothing I'm fidgety and restless by the afternoon and can't calm my mind.

Its pretty rubbish.

marginallyawake · 31/01/2025 22:41

This is really interesting, the thought of a quiet mind horrifies me. Maybe it’s because I’ve become so used to going off on interesting tangents that I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.
*though I suppose that proves the point

DrFoxtrot · 31/01/2025 22:44

Noisy mind here too with the Bergerac theme tune as a regular backing track.

iamnotalemon · 31/01/2025 22:57

I'd love to spend a day in someone else's mind, just so I can see what is normal or not.

TakeMyLifeAndLetItBe · 31/01/2025 23:12

My mind is rarely quiet and often I get stuck in a loop that's hard to get out of. It's usually about the same few issues that are bothering me and it can go round and round for quite some time before I try to force it away from me.

I really don't like it and wish I could be happier in my own company. I like what PP said about their mind eating itself if they're on their own too much, I feel similarly!

Oh for a quiet, content mind. Not an over-active bully.

HappyNewFeckingYear · 31/01/2025 23:20

About 50% of people have an enthusiastic internal dialogue.
Read books, study for something, it's free revision.

maddening · 31/01/2025 23:20

I do all that but don't consider myself to have a noisy mind - I actually opened the thread thinking I would be able to give a quiet mind perspective 🤣

unsync · 31/01/2025 23:28

I always think this meme sums it up nicely.

To wonder what it’s like to have a quiet mind?
ChristmasIsComingVerySoon · 31/01/2025 23:28

I don't mean this to come across condescending or mean, but I am totally giggling about the thought of Buddhism or the Calm app helping my brain to quieten. Honestly, I spend an the time with trying to meditate trying to tell my brain to shut up, it wondering what the stream I'm listening to looks like, where does it go, what colours are the flowers, why are the fish jumping, What's in the sky ... Then that leads me to thinking about the last time I went fishing, my dad was there and my dad is not longer here and what colour socks did he wear and have I washed my socks and oh no I should have done the laundry... Honestly, I need a nap after meditating 😁

RampantIvy · 31/01/2025 23:30

Most people have constant running dialogues and songs going on

I don't. I'm pretty good at switching off unless I am stressed or worried about something.

blueshoes · 31/01/2025 23:31

@ChristmasIsComingVerySoon I agree. Meditation is a joke for me. How does one ever empty their thoughts if there is a party going on in my head.

AyrnotAir · 31/01/2025 23:35

I've got adhd, I was absolutely baffled years ago when I asked my DH how he got to sleep so quickly and what did he think of and he said nothing. I said what do you see in your head and he said just blackness. He was equally as shocked when I told him my brain was like a phone with 50 tabs open that constantly would flick from one tab to the next with a tune or song repeating over and over in the background 😂