My toddler is preventing baby from walking

[walkbabywalk]

Every time my 15 month old stands up and starts walking around the furniture (he can't walk without holding on to something) my almost 3 year old goes over to him and tries to pull him down, or hugs and kisses him until dc2 sits on the floor and cries, when dc1 isn't around I hold him by the hands and walk with him all around the house and then only hold one of his hands so he walks next to me, but when dc1 is there he won't leave him in peace to walk, he is almost 16 months and dc1 started walking at 11 months so I'm starting to think he is preventing him from walking

So parent your 3 year old? Stop him, distract him, physically move him away from baby until he realises he needs to let him be. 3 is old enough to understand that he shouldn’t be doing that.

What have you done to stop your 3yo doing this? At 3, he can understand that he needs to give baby brother some space.

My brother and sister were close in age and my brother used to do this! I don’t think it’ll stall your baby, but can’t just stop him doing it?

Agree, you just have to stop him and keep him occupied, and you can tell him off for making his brother cry.

Which is what I do with my one year old if he's bothering another toddler like that, and he doesn't even know what I'm saying.

You need to be firm with your 3 year old and keep him from doing it all of the time.

Oh my goodness, are you me? I have the same problem with the exact same ages. I am convinced my 15 month year old would be walking by now if my 3 year old wasn't around. But I also have a 7 year old too. There is not much benefit to walking early that is what I tell myself, that he is actually been done a favour.

I do tell him off for it but he just doesn't listen, he thinks it's hilarious and I've tried to distract him and tell him to leave him alone but he's also always wanting to help, he tries to hold his hand to help him walk, he's always wanting to get involved with everything

“X doesn’t need kisses or cuddles right now, he is practicing his walking” Or something along those lines. If it continues then be firmer.
Ifs very normal not to be walking at 15 months, he is weight bearing etc so I wouldn’t worry.

It's a bit harsh but basically this.

I have an almost 3 year old and 11m old.
I've taught them to leave the baby alone / gentle touching etc through correction and consequence.
"No. Dont touch X. Come over here please"
"No. Dont hug baby now. You can hug baby when they are sitting"

You need to intervene and correct.

Edit: forget distraction. Forget long chats.
You need to say no and physically move him and / or create a physical barrier yourself then.
I'd also be introducing consequences. No screen time / toy removed etc. Let them tantrum and get on with things, invite them to back to play when calmer.

Next time it happens say to them 'baby needs some space right now, they are trying to learn to walk, can you give some space please and move your body over here'

If they don't move or ignore you then say 'baby needs space, you have two choices either you can move your body over here, or mummy will move you so that baby has space'

If they refuse to choose after just ONE chance , not repeating over and over, then say 'it looks like you're having a hard time choosing, mummy will move you over here to give baby some space'

Don't move them in a fun way just very boring. Repeat that process and after 5 or so times they'll get it. You can talk about all the exciting things they can do together when they walk. You can say, let's stand over here and cheer for them. And then stand a few steps away and clap and make a silly chant up 'go baby go' etc etc

That's true, my dc1 only started to get bumps and bruises when he started walking, but at the same time my youngest so baldly wants to walk and gets frustrated when his big brother pesters him

Badly*

My 3 year old is exactly the same with my 15 month old - constantly grabbing her, trying to hold her and generally “help” in a heavy handed way. It’s not malicious and I think she genuinely wants to help her baby sister but everytime (like a broken record) I tell her to leave her alone and explain babies need space to learn new things, and that she’ll come to her if she wants a cuddle / help etc and could she help her dolly walk etc etc. Slowly the message seems to be sinking in 😅

You need to stop the pushing and similar behaviour but hugs or trying to hold hands isn’t preventing your 16 mo from walking. If they were motivated to walk then they would whether they have a big sibling or not! Often an older sibling encourages a younger child to want to get up too.
My 3 year old helped by 11mo walk by holding their hands and walking him along as an adult would do.

I dont really understand the issue - why don't you just discipline & tell your 3 year old no, and set clear boundaries? If they pull baby down then they are put in another room for 3 mins, until they learn not to it?

Would a different tactic work? Tell your 3 yr old he’s the big brother and can teach the baby, and show him how to help the baby to walk? So teaching your 3yr old how to hold the baby’s hand and guide him to walk? And then go OTT with the praise and verbal rewarding of the 3yr old. And almost give your 3 yr old the role of helper/teacher. Get him to do this in other areas too - reading a book to the baby, helping put the baby’s shoes on etc.

Positive reinforcement works better than disciplining. So praising behaviour you want will always be more successful than telling him off for behaviour you don’t want.

The 3 year old has learned this is a great game and a great way to get your attention. Spend a while focussing on the 3 year old, and only the 3 year old. Let the 1 year old be feral for that time (obviously prevent any injuries!) and it should fix itself.

Good advice thank you

Also nothing gets attention like a baby learning to walk, was a chase of jealousy in our house

If only your baby had a parent about who could intervene.

Absolutely. Sibling rivalry starts young so it's important to not only tackle it with discipline as suggested with ideas on this thread but also each child needs their own dedicated time with each parent.

If he was running up to an open fire and didn't listen to you, would you just carry on letting him run into the fire? No, you'd probably (hopefully!) yell and physically remove him. That's what you do once asking quietly and politely doesn't work... Surely..? In time kids learn to just do what parents ask the first time.
Wet lettuce parenting achieves zero.

That's what playpens are for. Stick him in with some toys and give your baby some peace. Or just physically remove him every time he gets near.

Yeah - we’re very consistently clear she’s not to grab her while she’s learning new things and also makes sure she has plenty of time just with us and it definitely makes a difference

Some babies are just late walkers. Your 3 year old probably isn't the reason why the 15 month old isn't walking yet. Mine was running around at 15 months but I know toddlers that weren't walking at this age. Apparently medical professionals aren't concerned about a baby not walking until they're 17-18 months.

Your 3 year old sounds jealous and at that age he knows he's being naughty. You need to be firm and tell him to stop grabbing his brother. Time to teach him about respecting other people's boundaries because he'll annoy his classmates if he does this to them.