Year 6 (11 year olds) torturing worms

[mollyminniemo]

I know this may look like a rather bizarre thread but I need some other thoughts/ advice. My DS (11) who is a vegetarian and animal lover told me 4 of his friends yesterday stomped on a worm and killed it on purpose. DS was trying to save it on a sports field and they crowded round him to stop him getting a little stick to take it away and into soil away from all the kids. They kept preventing him from doing it and then crowded round and began stomping on the poor worm. Every time DS tried to get back in they’d (I don’t think with much force) use their hockey sticks to bat him away. They all took part in gleefully stamping on the poor worm “untill it was just mush”.
I’m horrified. What would you do?
I can speak to the boys myself as I come into the school at lunchtimes in the week. Or
message the parents? Ask the headmaster to discuss it in an assembly or with them individually?

No parents on here have mentioned a child being abused by an adult though . They are talking about another child being bullied and animals being harmed for fun.

I'd say when she said ow she may possibly have learned her lesson😊

And your son is a star, OP. Brave as well as kind. You’re bringing up a good one.

I actually think that is a dreadful way to role model for a child. To use adult size and weight against a child, who is plenty old enough to have the wrongness of cruelty explained to them.

You cannot be sure that she wouldn't have grown up into a kind person without her father assaulting her that way.

I would email school, say your son was bullied and the worm treated unpleasantly.

It's bad behaviour definitely, and school should have a word.

Well it didn't harm her so all's well that ends well. If she had been beaten them that's different . I don't approve of beating. And bullying is worse. Bullying leaves lasting scars, most kids aren't harmed by a mild tap.

What a disturbed father he sounds.

Sounds fairly standard behaviour for primary school boys

She turned out fine though in the end. A difficult phase. All kids go through them. If the problem was her father she wouldn't have had issues being disliked at school by other kids. She didn't have many friends because she wasn't kind to them but she is popular now and had rescue animals as an adult. She was brilliant to the dogs.

If all that happens is a child says ow, I tend to think it didn't hurt that much.

This can be a normal thing for kids of that age to do if it’s only a one off. I had to look into this for my kids (it turns out it wasn’t an issue thank goodness). But it definitely needs monitoring.

Well this was about 30 years ago . I daresay people parent differently now. I think it depends on the child .I would be lenient for a child who was sensitive or had SEN, for example. Or someone who has been through trauma. That's different .

Disgusted by the responses from people who don't think this is a big deal- no wonder these cruel children exist. It is vile to take pleasure in literally killing something, especially when your son was distressed. What horrible, horrible children.

Ok it's only a worm and plenty of people (not generally including me) squash spiders and other insects. But I do think killing an insect for the enjoyment of it is different and unnecessarily cruel compared to eg killing a wasp which could sting you/a fly that keeps landing on your food, or a slug that is eating your crop, or headlice making your head itch. In these situations (rightly or wrongly) you are killing something which is causing you a problem of some sort, even if that's you being afraid of a creature that can't hurt you (eg spiders!) You're not killing for fun and laughing about it.

And I also think it was the fact that it was distressing to OPs child and the other kids went out of their way to carry on that is unacceptable, deliberately upsetting another child, and in a group, using violence so he couldn't do anything about it. That is bullying and unacceptable behaviour.

The deliberate killing of a worm isn't the biggest issue here but rather the whole incident and how it happened is quite sickening. The boys in question saw their friend - not even a boy that they may dislike, but their friend - trying to save a worm and rather just let your DS save it (whether they agree saving a worm is important or not), they then purposefully stepped in to stop your DS from saving it. They then stamped on it knowing this would upset your DS and took great joy, not one of them, but all 4, to join in this act and essentially ridicule and upset your DS in the process. They are not your DS's friends! 11 year olds should know better when they can see their friend is trying to do something good. I would worry about this event happening in a similar way on a larger scale in the future. If they don't respect his feelings then he needs to find new friends fast. Not being smug here but my DS' would never ever do this to any of their friends - same age.

It's not standard and shouldn't be hand waved away with 'boys will be boys'.

Why do you think the OP is a troll?

Because the way it is written

What a bloody ridiculous comment

Yes! Empathy is such an important lesson. He will have a better future and be happier than a child who isn't taught to be kind.

skilpadde · Today 18:52

You cannot be serious, surely

Why? Why do you think it’s ok to stamp on and kill other living things? It’s horrible.

Even if it is a troll, I think the responses here say a lot about what some parents think is 'normal' behaviour for year 6. It isn't normal and any parent who thinks it is, is wrong. It's the kind of parenting that shrugs off name calling thinking it isn't bullying by saying 'oh they're just kids, that's what they do.'

I'm useless at spotting trolls. I don't seem to ever pick up on them unless it's obvious.

Of course it's about the type of animal. The police or RSPCA would have no interest in someone who used fly paper to kill flies, for example.