Am I Being Unreasonable by inviting my high school teachers to my wedding?

[emlamoore]

Hello! I'm 23 years old and have graduated high school almost 5 years ago. I'm getting married later this year and have been wanting to extend an invitation to my high school teachers. I understand this may be weird or inappropriate, so I wanted an outside opinion. My high school was small with my class only containing 55 students, so there was a closer bond between teachers and students. I haven't talked to them but a couple of times since graduation but when I was a student, I was in almost every club that was offered including serving as student body president which allowed me to attend teacher conferences at my school. I say this to say they aren't normal teachers with the average student teacher relationship. One of my friends who's a groomsman has a mother who is a teacher at my old high school that I plan on inviting. But I will say, there are some teachers that I only invite as a courtesy because I don't have as much of a close relationship with them, but the school is so small that it'd be unfair to invite some but not others. So... what do you all think? Would it be weird and unreasonable to invite them to my wedding?

I think it’s a it bit weird to invite all of them yes. Even in a small school that must be 20+ people?

perhaps 1 or 2 you have a legitimately close ongoing relationship with.

It does seem a bit weird - but I can’t quite relate to that size of high school. How many teachers are there in total? I think it’d be fine to invite 2 or 3, but all of them feels like way overkill.

You said you haven't talked to them recently? Why on earth would you invite anyone you don't have regular contact with?

Invite them all to evening do if you fancy. They may not all come anyway.

I was around 29y when my English teacher had her 60th, which I was invited too - met up with old teachers, only another student was there! 😅🙈 felt like an honour. It is a happy memory. Unfortunately not on FB for years so lost touch with most people now.

Go make your happy memories to close this chapter. Those that will come, will come.

I'm confused, you say there was only 55 students in your class, do you mean year or is that how many were in the whole school? How many teachers do you want to invite?

The teacher who's Mum is a friend of the groom, by all means invite her, if you wish. However, I certainly wouldn't be inviting people (regardless if they were my teachers or not), if I haven't seen/spoken to them in a long time or don't have a close relationship. To be honest inviting all your old teachers to your wedding is a bit weird.

YANBU. I’m a university professor and have attended students’ weddings. I think it’s sweet to invite them. Though I don’t think you need to invite them all, just your favorites. The other teachers shouldn’t be offended.

Are you in US? When you say "class" do you mean the total in the year. Like Class of 2020?

It's not unreasonable, it's your wedding, invite who you want. No-one else's business.

In total there would only be 8 teachers invited. These are the teachers that remains from my class. There are about 15 teachers in total, but I wouldn't extend an invitation to them because they were hired after I left.

In total there would only be 8 teachers invited. These are the teachers that remains from my class. There are about 15 teachers in total, but I wouldn't extend an invitation to them because they were hired after I left.

I'd think it was weird given that you haven't kept in touch with them. But am guessing you're in the US and things may be different there.

I was invited to the wedding of a former student. It was a real honour to attend.

In my year. For the class of 2020 there were only 55 students. The total school only have about 250 students with 15 teachers. I plan to invite 8 of them.

Weird , especially as you don’t have a relationship, it’s just a teacher from 5 years ago

do you not have any friends or something? are you trying to make up the numbers ?

In my year. For the class of 2020 there were only 55 students. The total school only have about 250 students with 15 teachers. I plan to invite 8 of them.

this to say they aren't normal teachers with the average student teacher relationship. well they bloody well should be.

Unless you're royalty or getting married somewhere HUGE with 400+ attendees you are being utterly ridiculous and over familiar

No it's not that, it just they meant a lot to me and it would be nice to see them there and celebrate with them. It's a 200 people wedding, so I think our numbers are fine.

Im also assuming your in the USA, in which case I’d not think it was weird for you. For me yes, but I hated school! I assume that many small communities in America, teachers are seen as a much bigger part of the community, go to the same churches, seen at sporting hobbies at the weekend. So if that’s your culture then no, not weird at all.

I think it's different if it's one or two that genuinely went above and beyond. Tends to be eg music teacher or someone who was particularly brilliant when times were shit

You’re far too young to be getting married, no wonder divorce rates are so high in the US.

It's a bit main character syndrome.

That's a really unpleasant remark.

I think it's a bit weird yes! I went to a small school too but I still wouldn't have invited all the teachers to my wedding. Maybe just the ones who taught you most?

Your language indicates that you are in the States? Is this normal there? I would never have dreamt of including my old school teachers in anything external to school but I have American friends who still visit their old school teachers in their homes decades after leaving. Maybe this is a culturally normal where you are? At the end of the day, it’s your wedding, so if you can afford to have them in your numbers and want them there, go for it.