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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed he took my parcel in

55 replies

BurnoutGP · 30/01/2025 13:26

My neighbour is a pilot. He works away A LOT. For example I took a parcel in for him before xmas. He only came to get it last week. A huge box that Sat in my hall all over Xmas. I rung a few times to give it to him but not in.
I ordered a pair of new shoes on sale. Specifically for a weekend away (last weekend). They "delivered " when I was in the house. No knock or bell heard.
I got a failed delivery/redelivery notice. Then a few hours later when I was out a delivered to neighbour notice.
I rung as soon as I got back as we were going away that weekend. No answer. He has a ring doorbell so knows I have been ringing. Every sodding day 2 or 3 times.
I know he's not there his car is gone.
He is sometimes away for weeks.
Why on earth did he accept it knowing he would be away. Or not drop it round before he went. I would have rather he didn't take it, I would have had more chance of getting them.
I am so annoyed. I just want my sodding shoes .

OP posts:

Hillarious · 30/01/2025 13:30

One of the downsides of shopping online.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 30/01/2025 13:35

Can you speak to the shop and say it’s not been delivered to you yet? I mean, delivering to a neighbour is fine on the assumption you fetch it within a day, but you have not been able to access the parcel, and it wasn’t delivered to you at the address provided?

Original poster

BurnoutGP · 30/01/2025 13:37

Hillarious · 30/01/2025 13:30

One of the downsides of shopping online.

I may be unreasonable for that....however that wasn't my question!

OP posts:

Brefugee · 30/01/2025 13:38

Hillarious · 30/01/2025 13:30

One of the downsides of shopping online.

One of the downsides of living next to a twat.

OP for future put a big sign on your door: do not deliver to neighbour

And when he comes back tell him not to do it again and if he does you'll post fish through his letterbox (don't actually do it tho)

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/01/2025 13:39

I wouldn’t take a parcel in for a neighbour if I knew I was going away for days/weeks!

Starlightstarbright4 · 30/01/2025 13:40

I was ready to say yabu but actually you aren’t. I would refuse a parcel if I wasn’t going to be around.

when you finally get the parcel I walk him not to take your parcels. I would also refuse to take his in his future

CandidRaven · 30/01/2025 14:01

I don't think you're unreasonable at all, I only take in parcels for people when I know I'm staying home for them to collect and if I go anywhere I will try and drop it to them first

anothernameanotherplanet · 30/01/2025 14:04

We got a large secure post box. It's solved a lot of problems like this and/or trips to sorting office across town.

Ours will hold a shoe box or two.

Postman thinks it's great and that everyone should have one.

tropicalroses · 30/01/2025 14:08

Why are you ringing on his door bell if you know he's not there?

Even if he knows your ringing because its a ring door bell, what do you expect him to do currently if he isn't there?

Brefugee · 30/01/2025 14:09

tropicalroses · 30/01/2025 14:08

Why are you ringing on his door bell if you know he's not there?

Even if he knows your ringing because its a ring door bell, what do you expect him to do currently if he isn't there?

Message her to say when he'll be back?

Original poster

BurnoutGP · 30/01/2025 14:12

tropicalroses · 30/01/2025 14:08

Why are you ringing on his door bell if you know he's not there?

Even if he knows your ringing because its a ring door bell, what do you expect him to do currently if he isn't there?

Honestly because I'm bloody irritated. I know he'll see me and hopefully feel guilty/bad. Also he has an on/off girlfriend/mother of his children who lives relatively close so was kinda hoping he would think oh shit and ask her to get them for me! I've already missed the event I had bought them for but have others coming up i would like to be able to wear them

OP posts:

Marooney · 30/01/2025 14:15

If you didn't give permission to deliver to a neighbour you can complain that you have no access to this neighbour or your shoes and they should legally give you a refund

SpringBunnyHopHop · 30/01/2025 14:19

It’s possible the courier put him on the spot before it could register he was going away or maybe he waited for you for as long as he could but his job comes first and he had to leave.

I’m not staying home because my neighbour can’t be home to get their own deliveries.

Dotjones · 30/01/2025 14:21

Did you give permission for the delivery to be left with a neighbour? If not, you can demand a refund. Your parcel hasn't arrived and the neighbour it was allegedly left with won't answer you. Effectively the parcel is lost. The vendor has to refund you and take the matter up with the delivery company.

Choppedcheeseagain · 30/01/2025 14:22

Not great for now, especially as he didn’t drop them around, for future I’d ask him not to take in parcels for you and put a note for delivery drivers saying pls don’t drop off at number X

purplecorkheart · 30/01/2025 14:24

Unless you gave permission for them to deliver to a neighbor then I would contact the shop and say that you have not received them and ask them to send another pair or refund you. They can follow it up with the courier company,

For all you know your neighbor could have put them on your doorstep before he left and they were taken.

EmmaMaria · 30/01/2025 14:27

Brefugee · 30/01/2025 13:38

One of the downsides of living next to a twat.

OP for future put a big sign on your door: do not deliver to neighbour

And when he comes back tell him not to do it again and if he does you'll post fish through his letterbox (don't actually do it tho)

Show quote history

Good luck with the big sign. I have a HUGE sign on my door that says that I am disabled, please give me time to get to the door, do not dump parcels on the ground as I can't pick them up. Want to know how many people can read these days? Most deliverers - except for EVRI, who generally get such a bad rep - dump the parcels on the ground and leg it without even knocking or ringing the doorbell!

2025ohdear · 30/01/2025 14:32

There is a whole thread complaining about delivery drivers knocking too much and not wanting to collect parcels.

In short, you cannot win!

ManchesterLu · 30/01/2025 14:49

Hillarious · 30/01/2025 13:30

One of the downsides of shopping online.

Nah. Why the fuck would you take in a parcel for someone if you're not going to be there to give it to them?

Our postman knocks a lot as I WFH so they think I'm an easy target to take things in. If I'm planning on going out that evening I don't even take it in then, because I know the neighbour will want their parcel when they get home! I can't imagine keeping someone's stuff for weeks on end!

LeaderBee · 30/01/2025 15:51

You are being unreasonable - you didn't give instructions for the delivery driver to pass it to your neighbour if they couldn't get hold of you; He's done you a favour.

ForPearlViper · 30/01/2025 16:13

I agree with you OP. And most importantly am concerned that a grain of common sense and foresight aren't entry level requirements for pilots.

GrandHighPoohbah · 30/01/2025 16:19

That's really annoying. It's probably that he doesn't ever order stuff he needs quickly (judging by his lax attitude to collecting his parcel from you). He probably didn't think beyond "There is a guy at the door asking me to take neighbour's parcel, yeah OK". Very irritating. Those parcel boxes mentioned by a PP are really good if you have room for one.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 30/01/2025 16:26

You're not being unreasonable. However, it could be that the delivery driver didn't give your neighbour much choice. I've started to tell delivery people that I won't be around to make sure it gets to the person it's meant for because, quite honestly, I'm fed up to the back teeth of people thinking they can just order stuff and I'll take it in if they're at work or just out. The amount of pleading I get from the drivers is ridiculous. I've had them saying I'm not being very neighbourly etc, one even asked what I'd do if somebody wouldn't take a parcel in for me - I told them that I make sure I'm at home to receive parcels.
I would contact the company who sent them and say that it's been a while now and you still haven't received them- they're the ones who will have to deal with the delivery company - you won't be able to do it yourself.

DerekFaker · 30/01/2025 16:29

LeaderBee · 30/01/2025 15:51

You are being unreasonable - you didn't give instructions for the delivery driver to pass it to your neighbour if they couldn't get hold of you; He's done you a favour.

What??? I don't think he has!

TartanTrewses · 30/01/2025 16:37

If you want it not to happen again you can put a message in the address field when you order like this.

My Name,
16 My Street Name,
Please leave parcel behind bins/gate,
My City,
My postcode.

I've been doing this for years and it always works.

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