Two thirds of adults in England are obese or overweight. It would make as much sense to ask what is different about the other one third.

[H0TK]

This was a comment I read elsewhere. I thought it was an interesting comment.

Rather than wondering what is wrong with overweight people and why they eat like they do. What is different about the people who are not overweight?

What desert have you tried? If you've only started with one of the "biggies" like the Sahara or Gobi, can I suggest you don't over-face yourself and go for something smaller?

Yes, this is like me I think. Except I only started weekly weighing in my fifties. I have always loved clothes and fashion and want to be able to fit into clothes I own and love. I am not interested in hair and makeup but love my clothes that I have collected over my adult life.

Some people do just have a natural off switch. I’m overweight, always have been… but DC 1 has always been slim - just eats when hungry and stops when full. Even in the middle of a favourite pudding. DC2 will eat until all the food is gone - every single time. They literally have no full up switch. We struggle to keep them from being overweight. (Lots of activity - portion control and healthy foods in the house)

This has been the case since weaning. Same parenting/ household food culture but complete opposites in the relationship with eating.

I live in an area where people are slimmer and fitter I'd say than the national average.

What I would say about this area is that it's wealthier than average so I would guess people have:

• better access to healthcare (inc. private) and probably are less "time poor" than others and able to find time to get outdoors around work- probably a higher number of people have professional jobs where they have a fair bit of freedom in how/when they work
• Really nice parks and outdoor green spaces which makes you want to get outside
• Loads of gyms, personal trainers, yoga classes and other sports facilities nearby and people have the time and money to access them.
• Money to pay for after school activities for kids and bikes etc, taking them out with you on bike rides - getting them active from an early age
• Good choice of supermarkets and also farm shops and markets - and people can afford to buy organic, less processed locally produced food and the energy costs and time to cook it
• Most have probably had ta healthy lifestyle instilled in them from childhood

While it's not the be all and end all, there are areas where it's a health food dessert - just tons of takeaways and convenience stores. And it's not a nice place to go for a walk. And poverty/lack of funds/lifestyle play a huge part - that's not to say rich = thin and poor = fat, as it's not as simplistic as that but lifestyle and things that people find hard to control - how much time they have to themselves to decided to go out and exercise, how much time they can spend on food prep and how much they can spend on food full stop.

These societal divisions between haves and have not areas have got much worse in the last 40 years or so.

Another thing I noticed since buying a FitBit about 8 years ago. My slimmest friends who also have a FitBit and who I follow on there do A LOT of steps. Was a "no shit Sherlock" moment for me and an insight into how active people are.

I do ok for someone who sits down for 35 hours a week - often 85,000 steps a week, and am often 3rd or 4th in my friends list, but I'm never going to outdo my friend who is a dog walker and gets 120,000 steps a week, or the one who is a running coach.

Do you really think that overweight people haven't ever been on a diet or tried to change how they eat?
I'm really good at following diets, I ate very similarly to the plan you mentioned for around two years and lost loads of weight.
I'm also amazing at putting the weight back on and a bit more every time and then it gets a little bit harder to lose every time.

Poverty is a huge factor. I don’t have any overweight friends and neither do my kids of varying ages. I can’t believe all of us have more willpower; financial privilege plays a bit part. It’s really complex.

I am fortunate that I haven’t ever been overweight and in my case it is mainly down to genetics I should think. Maybe some environmental factors too. I find it very easy to stop eating when I feel full so no willpower involved there. I have never had a lot of money, so if my clothes get tight I cut out the biscuits and chocolate and step up on my feeble amount of exercise. That doesn’t feel hard for me and knocks back the few extra pounds. Obviously I am bigger now than when I was 20 years old!

Nobody was fixated on food in my family, although being slim was definitely valued. Portion sizes were much smaller and so were our plates as I was growing up. Most meals were cooked from scratch and takeaways were very rare. I do think about food a lot but more about shopping for it and recipes. I have always cooked from scratch too. I love food and am very lucky that I haven’t had to properly restrict my diet as I would find that very difficult.

I don’t think that any of this makes me a better person of course. Some of us do get dealt an easier hand with regard to propensity for weight gain.

Yes definitely. And particularly when all my health metrics apart from weight (even waist measurement) are telling me I'm healthy, and I'm actually comfortable with how I look in clothes being two stone overweight on the scales but still being only a size 12/14 and fairly tall.

There is very little motivation other than knowing that it is more strain on my heart and joints even if I feel super fit and healthy now, and particularly as I get into my 50s- and also that through menopause if I am not careful I could pile the weight on.

I don't think you've got the point but there's no arguing with stupid so ...

It's in a lot of science literature.
e.g. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2430504/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11874411/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12023994/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21460597/

Also worth looking up Dr. Louis J. Aronne as he has done a fair amount of research into leptin and ghrelin (more leptin) and talks about it on https://zoe.com/learn/obesity-with-dr-louis-j-aronne if podcasts are your thing.

I was severely under weight most my life and I'm decently tall too... medications and disability is the answer as to why I was.

People always commented on how lucky I am to be underweight, well its easy to be underweight when you haven't really ate anything for 5 days.

Having a carer who monitors my eating to make sure I eat a least 1 meal every day has cause 4 stone weight increase over the years and I'm now smack bang in the 'healthy weight' category.

1-2 meals a day brought me right up to a healthy weight.

It blows my mind that some people I have spoke to insist on eating 3-4 meals a day PLUS snacks in between just purely for 'routine' and believing they just 'should' eat breakfast/dinner/tea/supper because they where taught less is 'unhealthy' or are scared of that silly fear of 'starvation mode'.

Of course people gain weight if they eat more than they actually need regularly for nothing more than the sake of following an arbitrary set schedule or fear that if they skip a meal they some how would gain twice as much weight at the next meal (the logic makes my brain hurt but so many people have condescended that old wives tale to me).

I was morbidly obese from my childhood until my mid twenties.

For me it was portions that were just too much.

I have always cooked at home from scratch, we grew up poor so didn't have the money for takeaways. But food was one of the only joys and comfort, so the portions would always be too big. Too much pasta on the bolognaise, too many roast potatoes on the cooked dinner, a big bowl of rice pudding for after etc.

PCOS didn't help.

I'd love to say I had some big revelation but to be honest I didn't. As we got wealthier I just gradually started enjoying other things more than food, and I started leaving food on the plate when I was full (unheard of in my childhood, practically criminal).

DH, dd and ds have always been slim, and we all ate the same things.

I’m British but of Chinese descent.

I was raised on a mixture of Chinese and English food. I mean real Chinese food not the stuff from a Chinese take away, all batter and gloopy sauce.

English food seems incredibly unhealthy to me, lots of carbs and sweet stuff, I was raised without pudding. I suppose it’s because the weather is bad you need something to be calorific to keep warm.

Asians will tell you stuff straight, be kind doesn’t exist in that culture and having self control is everything. I went to a big family wedding, many middle aged and older women from 45 to 65. I was easily the biggest. The fat Auntie at a size 8/10. My diet is probably more western than many of my relatives as I do cater for DH English tastes.

I was taught how to cook properly.

I remember the first time DS went to his GF house for dinner, he is well over 6ft, he said the Mum ate the same amount as him and she is 5ft 1. I said I didn’t believe him but he assured me he was right. When we met, well she is very over weight, It’s portion size mainly. Plus alcohol, many of my family do not drink at all as culturally it’s just not a big thing.

I wouldn't say the people in my family who are overweight are in poverty but they are definitely in the squeezed middle band who are rushing around all the time, knackered have small kids and not very much time to prioritise themselves.

There are a lot of women in their 30s and 40s throughout the country who fall into that category and that was definitely me a few years ago. Plus adding any peri menopausal and hormonal issues into the mix. Adrenalin and cortisol have a lot to answer for.

I would take that number with a pinch of salt (to an extent).

I'm definitely part of the overweight statistic, but I can run sub 4 marathons, qualify for Boston, and have a flat stomach. So I'm doing all the right things YET I'm still overweight, so there's that.

I've always been very slim as have my mum and my adult child. I definitely think it's partly down to genetics. I was fed healthily on home cooked food and got lots of exercise as a child and saw those things as normal. There was definitely good food, and bad food to only be had occasionally as treats - I definitely don't agree that there should be no judgement around food, there's loads of really shit food constantly on offer out there and kids should be aware.

I have also heard people on weight loss injections say they have a constant voice in their head saying they're hungry and I've never had anything like that. I eat till I'm full and that's it. That's not to say I can't eat a whole packet of jaffa cakes in one sitting of course....but I do enough exercise and eat healthily enough most of the time that it doesn't have any impact.

In my personal case, it's due to upbringing. Our DF was farmer and ex-army, in additon to phsyical work, he did a lot of running, played football. Sport/exercise was a big thing for me in school, and it still is for me today.

Also, I don't drink alcohol (never have really). But I'm also somewhat careful on food I eat. I love ice cream and chocolate, but (almost) never eat it.

There is so much calorie rich food around these days. Thinking back, I was positively hungry a lot of times (boarding) school!!

Health and physical activity.

I was slim most my life. Had an active job and reasonable health. Recently had poor health and can't get drs to help they just keep referring me to other departments and I'm getting worse, makes exercise difficult. Now not working as have a disabled child the LA will not give a school place so less active.

I have PCOS. to maintain a healthy weight I have to keep active and eat very few calories eg 1200 max. I'm too depressed and unhappy to skip meals with my life how it is now.

sorry replied to wrong post

Interestingly it was through having pets that I realised my parents slightly overfeed everything, including me, with love, though I was never hugely overweight as a child I was a bit more solid than I needed to be. They had a tubby dog and a tubby tabby cat (who lost weight gradually when he came to live with us).

We had a lot of convenience food, probably decent portions, always snacks were available and, sugary fizzy drinks and cordials. I didn't drink tap water on its own until after I left home in my 20s. That said it's a credit to my parents that I did not grow up with hang ups about food or my body which would have been much worse. And my dad was very into exercise and that stayed with me. The worst thing probably was the "always clear your plate" - however much was on it - mentality which probably came from their growing up with not much food , still in rationing after the war years when they were born. Took me a while - and modern portion sizes when eating out - to see that might not be such a good idea. To this day I struggle with portions and my appetite is an unreliable narrator about portion sizes. Neither had sweets much as a child and had such a sweet tooth all their lives after.

Have to say though I seem to have done a bit better with DDs who have always been lighter than I was at their age and they are good eaters while being health conscious and take regular exercise.

I remember hearing a similar statement during a online talk into research on obesity (can't remember who was giving it). Basically the presenter said that he'd been researching why people were getting fatter, and after looking into the various changes in food environment/portion sizes/UPF/change to activity levels etc.. on a country/worldwide scale he realised that the initial question was wrong/of no interest. Of course people were getting fatter - it is the obvious outcome to the changes in environment. What was interesting was that not 'everyone' was getting fatter - or at least not to the same extent, so 'only 2/3 overweight/obese' rather than 90%+.

And while yes you can look at what is different about those people who aren't gaining weight (DNA/upbringing/illness/wealth etc..) what it really meant is that you need to stop blaming people for being fatter than previous generations and saying its a lack of willpower etc.. and accept that the problem is not the people but the environment and look at tackling that.

Yes but why? Why are the more inured against the evolutionary impulse and the psychological manipulation that impels others (2/3 of others if the stats are to be believed) to overeat?

It's all well and good being glib but this a very important question. Western society (and all societies ultimately as our food culture globalises) is increasingly unhealthy and overweight and unhappy. People have been talking about 'eat less, move more' and willpower for decades, and it has not solved or even slowed down this growing problem.

I think it's incredibly reductive to look at 2/3 of the population and say 'they've all got psychological problems with food'.

It's the food industry and;

• I think UPF's drive cravings that whole/natural foods don't
• everyone is running on sugar and carbs which makes you want to eat more sugar and carbs
• the glucose rollar coaster many people are on
• the normalisation of ever increasing portion sizes
• the cheapness of UPF food
• the extra hours working and demands placed on most of us means we're rushing back from work to get something 'stuck on for dinner' that will be as quick and easy as possible - rather than one person being stay at home making food from scratch
• the lack of a 'village' - quite literally. Alot of people don't live walking distance to a butcher/green grocer - so we're all getting in our cars to hit Sainsbury's/Tesco
• people are just fucking tired these days - driving poor food choices even further
• a whole billion pound diet industry giving mixed messages about what we should be doing/eating. It's all conflicting info.
• the retail sector increasing the size of clothes so we still feel we're an acceptable size (e.g current size 12 - would probably have been a size 16 - 20-30yrs ago)
• the downward fall of fat shaming - which is good but now most people are overweight we don't feel the pressure to lose weight because we feel normal compared to most people we see around and it's unlikely your manager at work/your bestmate is ever going to say - bloody hell you packed on a few pounds recently haven't you?
• the fitness industry becoming so over the top it's off putting

But if i had to boil it down to a couple of things - the crap in our food is leading us to feel hungrier more often, this along with large portions and large sized clothing being normalised is what's causing obesity.

So why do I think slim people are slim? If we put to one side the people who work really hard to stay in shape - those who are extra careful about what they eat and always exercise, then I think the slim people who don't seem to gain weight but who are not people obsessed about 'being slim' - probably did luck out genetically and probably don't eat ready meals.

But I also want to flag the point that most people who think they are slim are probably not as slim as they think. They fit into size 10 M&S jeans and feel great about it. Failing to recognise that those size 10 jeans were likely a size 14-16 back in the 70s. If you roll back to that time, they themselves may have been considered 'a larger lady'.

It's a false sense of accomplishment to bask in slim smugness when the population around you is growing larger and larger.

We have family in the USA who think DH and I are 'slim' and by their measure we are. In the UK - we're firmly 'overweight'. I'm a size 16 UK sizing (now) in the USA that's a size 12. My DH wears XL tops in the USA he was a medium. If we moved to the USA we could feel smug about how 'slim we are' and what good control we have over our eating.

Essentially everyone's perception of slim is now skewed.

I wonder how many self proclaimed slim people on this thread might get a shock if they spent some time in Japan.....

The slim people in the UK are not exempt from the issue - they are getting larger along with everyone else they are just slim in comparison. If you have a BMI of 23 and you delight in your own slimness just remember you'd be considered average (not slim) in Japan and might be told to exercise a bit more or have someone wide eyed looking at the size of your portion when eating lunch.

So to boil it down to psychological problems /no will power/ they don't eat right is to spectacularly fail to understand your own place in this quite literally growing problem.....which starts with the food industry, and is aided by the deprioritisation of family meal time, long working hours, dual parental incomes required to live etc etc etc.

Willpower/diet motivation is a small part of a much more complex issue. If 2/3 of the population were unemployed no one would say 'they all don't have the motivation to find work'. You'd say the system is broken.

Our food industry is broken but only for the people. For those running it - it's hugely profitable and as a result we'll continue to get fatter (including the slim people).....until something snaps.

Broadly speaking the people I know who are still slim in their 40's are naturally slim. They have never been overweight so therefore have never dieted. Most of them don't do much if any exercise. I think they do eat less, but they don't feel hardship like someone dieting feels it, in a calorie restriction kind of sense. They eat to satiety and that's enough, they stop when full because why wouldn't you? I think they have a completely different relationship with food than a chronic dieter like me.

I'm a size 10-12 but it's been a lifetime of calorie restriction, up and down weight. And exercise. And that's all to break even, and I'm still overweight according to my bmi