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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why there isn’t public outrage about this?

873 replies

Blusterylimp · 30/01/2025 12:23

If a couple isn’t married but own their property between them, the surviving one will need to pay inheritance tax on their partners half of the house (and other assets) if they die.
Effectively they will lose their home to pay the IHT unless they also have huge savings.
How can that be allowed in this day and age when so many couples cohabit without getting married?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:19

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:12

I don’t think it should be relevant how privileged or affluent we are.
A lot of posters have incorrectly assumed that owning the property as joint tenants protects from IHT at the death of the first person in the couple. There is no reason why that shouldn’t be the case for cohabiting couples who own a property as joint tenants as that would protect their home on the first death. They would still pay IHT on any other assets so the differentiation between them and married and civil partners would still exist but their home would be safe until the second death.
I don’t understand what the objection would be to this.
I feel like I’m saying the same thing over and over and the replies don’t address my point.

The reason it wouldn't work is that society wants to encourage marriage as it sees it as a social good (re kids etc) and sees tax benefits as a carrot.

The other reason relevant to what you cite is that everyone would just buy property as JT with anyone willing if it meant avoiding IHT. At least with a marriage or.CP there's a provable legal relationship with just one other person at any one time.

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:19

BIossomtoes · 04/02/2025 18:17

There is no reason why that shouldn’t be the case for cohabiting couples who own a property as joint tenants as that would protect their home on the first death. They would still pay IHT on any other assets so the differentiation between them and married and civil partners would still exist but their home would be safe until the second death.

Where does it stop? The survivor moves in another cohabitee and kicks the IHT can down the road. That could go on ad infinitum. It seems pretty pointless when a visit to the registry office provides a relatively cheap instant solution.

If the survivor wanted to avoid IHT then they could just get a civil partnership with a new person!

OP posts:
Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:21

ToughButWorthIt · 04/02/2025 18:17

Because most people realise that tax is a matter of government policy.

It's just an aspect of policy that is designed to encourage people to get married.

If you want the benefit you need to get married. That's the point of it. Nothing to get outraged about.

You’re missing my point

OP posts:
Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:22

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:19

If the survivor wanted to avoid IHT then they could just get a civil partnership with a new person!

They would have to actually leave the assets to that person though.....

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:22

Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:19

The reason it wouldn't work is that society wants to encourage marriage as it sees it as a social good (re kids etc) and sees tax benefits as a carrot.

The other reason relevant to what you cite is that everyone would just buy property as JT with anyone willing if it meant avoiding IHT. At least with a marriage or.CP there's a provable legal relationship with just one other person at any one time.

It would only apply for cohabiting couples so it wouldn’t apply by just buying a property as joint tenants if you didn’t live together in the property.

OP posts:
MeandT · 04/02/2025 18:26

@Blusterylimp the reason it's not the presumed case that ALL cohabiting couples everywhere across the country are not presumed to want to merge their tax & inheritance affairs is PRECISELY because no-one else can presume whether they wish to or not.

For a veritable cornucopian multiplicity of reasons!!!

If you want to, there is one, super simple, straightforward EXISTING way to let the taxman know you want your partner to be treated as a significant partner for inheritance purposes.

It's called a Civil Partnership. It's been open to heterosexual couples in the UK since 2019. It costs less than 200 quid.

Either get on with it or stop whining about not having a tax loophole specific to your personal preferences.

An option exists!

thehorsesareallidiots · 04/02/2025 18:27

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:12

I don’t think it should be relevant how privileged or affluent we are.
A lot of posters have incorrectly assumed that owning the property as joint tenants protects from IHT at the death of the first person in the couple. There is no reason why that shouldn’t be the case for cohabiting couples who own a property as joint tenants as that would protect their home on the first death. They would still pay IHT on any other assets so the differentiation between them and married and civil partners would still exist but their home would be safe until the second death.
I don’t understand what the objection would be to this.
I feel like I’m saying the same thing over and over and the replies don’t address my point.

You... Don't think how affluent you are should be relevant to taxation. Oh...kay.

BIossomtoes · 04/02/2025 18:29

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:19

If the survivor wanted to avoid IHT then they could just get a civil partnership with a new person!

Just like they could get one with the original person!

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:30

MeandT · 04/02/2025 18:26

@Blusterylimp the reason it's not the presumed case that ALL cohabiting couples everywhere across the country are not presumed to want to merge their tax & inheritance affairs is PRECISELY because no-one else can presume whether they wish to or not.

For a veritable cornucopian multiplicity of reasons!!!

If you want to, there is one, super simple, straightforward EXISTING way to let the taxman know you want your partner to be treated as a significant partner for inheritance purposes.

It's called a Civil Partnership. It's been open to heterosexual couples in the UK since 2019. It costs less than 200 quid.

Either get on with it or stop whining about not having a tax loophole specific to your personal preferences.

An option exists!

You’re missing my point

OP posts:
Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:31

thehorsesareallidiots · 04/02/2025 18:27

You... Don't think how affluent you are should be relevant to taxation. Oh...kay.

That’s not what I said. Read my post

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 04/02/2025 18:36

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:30

You’re missing my point

Edited

Nobody’s missing the point you’re attempting to make, they just disagree with you.

MeandT · 04/02/2025 18:36

@Blusterylimp I really, really, REALLY don't think any of us are missing your point.

Your point is that you would love to not commit enough to your life partner to have to share any assets or maintenance in the event you have an unamicable split.

But in the absence of that, you would love love LOVE to have all the perks of the additional IHT allowances afforded to those who ARE committed enough to their life partner to accept that ups come with some potential downs.

Guess what? That's been the tax code in this country for donkeys & no-one is crying you a river that your partner might have to sell his million pound house to buy a £400k 2 bed flat to see out his old age. Just because you don't feel secure enough in your relationship to register it within the existing system.

We get your point. NO-ONE is outraged!

Tough titties 🤷🏼‍♀️

soupyspoon · 04/02/2025 18:40

I think in my case Im happy to accept there might be taxes to pay. I dont want to be married I would be at a financial disadvantage if I did

I have a feeling that my OH's stake in the house as we are tenants in common, is around £150k at todays prices so my understanding is its under the IHT threshold.

I havent read the whole thread but someone mentioned 'next of kin' to the OP as if her family can rock up and be her next of kin. The UK has no legal definition of this, its not a 'thing' even though its often said to be and you'll see it on formal forms. You can nominate that person yourself

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:42

MeandT · 04/02/2025 18:36

@Blusterylimp I really, really, REALLY don't think any of us are missing your point.

Your point is that you would love to not commit enough to your life partner to have to share any assets or maintenance in the event you have an unamicable split.

But in the absence of that, you would love love LOVE to have all the perks of the additional IHT allowances afforded to those who ARE committed enough to their life partner to accept that ups come with some potential downs.

Guess what? That's been the tax code in this country for donkeys & no-one is crying you a river that your partner might have to sell his million pound house to buy a £400k 2 bed flat to see out his old age. Just because you don't feel secure enough in your relationship to register it within the existing system.

We get your point. NO-ONE is outraged!

Tough titties 🤷🏼‍♀️

As you are being quite rude to me, I wont feel bad for pointing out that your comprehension skills are sadly lacking.

OP posts:
ToughButWorthIt · 04/02/2025 18:43

I'm not missing your point. You are saying no one gets married these days so it is outrageous (harumphing toys out of the pram) that IHT is different for married couples and not married and why isn't the world in uproar.

I said in response to that because tax is about government policy. The policy is to encourage marriage and this taxation regime is part of that.

If you want the tax benefit, you need to get married. That's the point of the policy.

If you don't want to get married, that's up to you but the cost of that is the loss of this tax benefit.

It's like complaining that it's outrageous that second home owners have to pay 200% council tax in some council areas. If you don't like it, don't own a second home in that area or actually make it your primary home and live there. It's tax policy to encourage particular behaviour.

It's not difficult and most people understand this.

P00hsticks · 04/02/2025 18:44

CharlotteCChapel · 04/02/2025 17:37

My DDiL' so parents aren't married but they took leg advice and made wills that ensures the same protection as marriage, and also a document thy states what would happen if their relationship broke down. Honestly a wedding would have been cheaper.

A will won't get round the IHT issue that the OP is complaining about though.

You can't will your IHT allowance to an individual, you can only pass it on by getting married to or making a civil partnership with them

NordicwithTeen · 04/02/2025 18:48

thehorsesareallidiots · 04/02/2025 18:27

You... Don't think how affluent you are should be relevant to taxation. Oh...kay.

Parents getting VAT charges before non-doms with hidden billions off-shore kinda suggests Labour aren't too fussed either...

Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:48

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:22

It would only apply for cohabiting couples so it wouldn’t apply by just buying a property as joint tenants if you didn’t live together in the property.

It's very hard to prove "cohabiting" as a legal concept. That's why it doesn't really work as wording for Wills for example.

Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:49

P00hsticks · 04/02/2025 18:44

A will won't get round the IHT issue that the OP is complaining about though.

You can't will your IHT allowance to an individual, you can only pass it on by getting married to or making a civil partnership with them

You could use NRB trusts in certain circumstances. That's why a Will is so important.

Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:51

soupyspoon · 04/02/2025 18:40

I think in my case Im happy to accept there might be taxes to pay. I dont want to be married I would be at a financial disadvantage if I did

I have a feeling that my OH's stake in the house as we are tenants in common, is around £150k at todays prices so my understanding is its under the IHT threshold.

I havent read the whole thread but someone mentioned 'next of kin' to the OP as if her family can rock up and be her next of kin. The UK has no legal definition of this, its not a 'thing' even though its often said to be and you'll see it on formal forms. You can nominate that person yourself

Agreed there is no legal concept of "next of kin". However there are the Intestacy Rules which recognises a pecking order of spouse and blood relations only. That's why unmarried couples don't benefit.

Bignanna · 04/02/2025 18:53

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 16:29

We haven’t benefited from house price inflation when we are living in the house. We have a three bedroom house however much it is worth.
Thats the whole point of this thread really. When one of us dies, the surviving one will have to pay IHT on half the value of the house or lose their home. That seems harsh to me to lose our home but I can see that it would make the IHT laws easier to bypass if cohabiting couples had the same rights as married and civil partnership couples.

But you could have, and it’s easy - what is it you don’t like about a civil partnership?

soupyspoon · 04/02/2025 18:55

Kdubs1981 · 02/02/2025 18:28

An IQ of a 157, eh? Well you must be VERY clever indeed. The scale only goes up to 160 and a score of 157 would place you in the top 0.0072% of the population.

Bravo

Not the point of the thread I know but 160 is not the top of the scale at all

soupyspoon · 04/02/2025 18:56

Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:51

Agreed there is no legal concept of "next of kin". However there are the Intestacy Rules which recognises a pecking order of spouse and blood relations only. That's why unmarried couples don't benefit.

I was referring to a post earlier in the thread that cited that OPs family could rock up and start making decisions about her due to being 'next of kin'. I didnt mention intestacy, which is a different matter altogether.

Hoppingabout · 04/02/2025 18:57

soupyspoon · 04/02/2025 18:56

I was referring to a post earlier in the thread that cited that OPs family could rock up and start making decisions about her due to being 'next of kin'. I didnt mention intestacy, which is a different matter altogether.

Ah right yes. LPAs. That's another thread entirely! 😆

Blusterylimp · 04/02/2025 18:58

Bignanna · 04/02/2025 18:53

But you could have, and it’s easy - what is it you don’t like about a civil partnership?

Edited

We share a home but don’t share other finances.

OP posts: