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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why there isn’t public outrage about this?

873 replies

Blusterylimp · 30/01/2025 12:23

If a couple isn’t married but own their property between them, the surviving one will need to pay inheritance tax on their partners half of the house (and other assets) if they die.
Effectively they will lose their home to pay the IHT unless they also have huge savings.
How can that be allowed in this day and age when so many couples cohabit without getting married?

OP posts:
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12
Almostwelsh · 01/02/2025 12:18

Because that's on effect what is being asked for - marriage is a financial contract

Cakeandusername · 01/02/2025 12:27

Really surprised how many don’t realise any couple can have a civil partnership. It was all over press at time, the couple released a nice photo with their two little girls.
There’s no need for a ceremony. It’s similar process to registration of a birth. It’s important there are safeguards in place to prevent coercion or immigration fraud.
Out of curiosity those who don’t want to be married what’s the objection to registering your partnership.

thehorsesareallidiots · 01/02/2025 12:37

Almostwelsh · 01/02/2025 12:17

Yeah. If you can just fill in a form on the internet, what's to stop me marrying a rich man without his consent

Exactly. Or a rich woman. If I can fill out an online form, I think you'll find that I am Mrs Akshata Murty, aka Mrs Mrs Rishi Sunak. (She's very good to me.)

LoveLifeBeHappy · 01/02/2025 13:07

Blusterylimp · 30/01/2025 12:23

If a couple isn’t married but own their property between them, the surviving one will need to pay inheritance tax on their partners half of the house (and other assets) if they die.
Effectively they will lose their home to pay the IHT unless they also have huge savings.
How can that be allowed in this day and age when so many couples cohabit without getting married?

We're in the same position. You just need a well-drafted Will with "intent to marry."

We own a few properties between us, and marrying would become quite expensive if we acquire more.

Speak to a professional—there are a few loopholes.

Thanks, everyone.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 01/02/2025 13:13

LoveLifeBeHappy · 01/02/2025 13:07

We're in the same position. You just need a well-drafted Will with "intent to marry."

We own a few properties between us, and marrying would become quite expensive if we acquire more.

Speak to a professional—there are a few loopholes.

Thanks, everyone.

Edited

We own a few properties between us, and marrying would become quite expensive if we acquire more.

Eh? I don’t think they ask you how many houses you own at the registrars office.

Cakeandusername · 01/02/2025 13:14

This is the none ceremony civil partnership option.

To wonder why there isn’t public outrage about this?
MotionIntheOcean · 01/02/2025 13:16

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 01/02/2025 13:13

We own a few properties between us, and marrying would become quite expensive if we acquire more.

Eh? I don’t think they ask you how many houses you own at the registrars office.

Might be a reference to CGT? A married couple only get one primary residence exemption between them, unmarried couples get one each.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 01/02/2025 13:26

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 01/02/2025 13:13

We own a few properties between us, and marrying would become quite expensive if we acquire more.

Eh? I don’t think they ask you how many houses you own at the registrars office.

My bad—I wasn’t clear.

It would be very expensive if we moved and got a mortgage together. Right now, one of us legally owns the property we live in, and I own the others. With the way everything is set up, getting married would increase stamp duty and other costs even further.

There's also CGT.

I think our situation is quite unique.

That said, as I mentioned, there are loopholes with a good solicitor and a well-drafted Will. You can place properties in a trust, include an "intent to marry" clause, or ensure that if one of us passes away, the other can continue living in the property.

Anyway, you don’t need to be married to inherit property like everyone assumes.

Completelyjo · 01/02/2025 13:28

LoveLifeBeHappy · 01/02/2025 13:26

My bad—I wasn’t clear.

It would be very expensive if we moved and got a mortgage together. Right now, one of us legally owns the property we live in, and I own the others. With the way everything is set up, getting married would increase stamp duty and other costs even further.

There's also CGT.

I think our situation is quite unique.

That said, as I mentioned, there are loopholes with a good solicitor and a well-drafted Will. You can place properties in a trust, include an "intent to marry" clause, or ensure that if one of us passes away, the other can continue living in the property.

Anyway, you don’t need to be married to inherit property like everyone assumes.

Edited

Marriage has nothing to do with it. If you buy an additional property and retain your existing you pay a higher stamp duty rate regardless of whether you are married or not, and being married in no way means you must buy an additional home.

laraitopbanana · 01/02/2025 13:30

Why can’t they get married?

SALaw · 01/02/2025 14:20

@LoveLifeBeHappy I don't see how specifying an "intent to marry" would work if you died, say, 10 years later and hadn't actually got married.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/02/2025 14:21

Anyway, you don’t need to be married to inherit property like everyone assumes.

Nobody assumes this.

ZoeCM · 01/02/2025 14:47

Laurmolonlabe · 31/01/2025 22:24

Yes it is outrageous that the government uses state sponsorship of marriage as a tool to generate money- why should you be forced into a state you don't agree with spiritually or philosophically for tax reasons- it's akin to insisting all couples join a club or pay far more tax when one of the couple dies- it's extortion , really.

Marriage has always been a contract - any philosophical or spiritual connotations that cultures have added have just been window dressing. And civil partnerships are available for all as well.

Hoppingabout · 01/02/2025 14:52

LoveLifeBeHappy · 01/02/2025 13:26

My bad—I wasn’t clear.

It would be very expensive if we moved and got a mortgage together. Right now, one of us legally owns the property we live in, and I own the others. With the way everything is set up, getting married would increase stamp duty and other costs even further.

There's also CGT.

I think our situation is quite unique.

That said, as I mentioned, there are loopholes with a good solicitor and a well-drafted Will. You can place properties in a trust, include an "intent to marry" clause, or ensure that if one of us passes away, the other can continue living in the property.

Anyway, you don’t need to be married to inherit property like everyone assumes.

Edited

An "intent to marry" clause simply stops the will being automatically revoked if you marry. It has no effect on tax. You are either married or you aren't re tax.

Hoppingabout · 01/02/2025 14:54

SALaw · 01/02/2025 14:20

@LoveLifeBeHappy I don't see how specifying an "intent to marry" would work if you died, say, 10 years later and hadn't actually got married.

It just stops a will being revoked.

Honestly the misconceptions on this thread are amazing. Fair enough if you don't know the law but don't pretend you do.if you don't!

SALaw · 01/02/2025 16:00

@Hoppingabout are you referring to me or @LoveLifeBeHappy? I know that the intent to marry doesn't assist, as I said in the post you have replied to? The intent to marry point is to prevent the will being revoked if the parties subsequently marry, so I didn't see why it was relevant if they don't in fact marry.

Hoppingabout · 01/02/2025 16:30

SALaw · 01/02/2025 16:00

@Hoppingabout are you referring to me or @LoveLifeBeHappy? I know that the intent to marry doesn't assist, as I said in the post you have replied to? The intent to marry point is to prevent the will being revoked if the parties subsequently marry, so I didn't see why it was relevant if they don't in fact marry.

Referring to @LoveLifeBeHappy post, to which you replied to correctly.
Sorry if I was confusing! My second point certainly wasn't aimed at you as you were absolutely correct.

Nantescalling · 01/02/2025 17:53

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/01/2025 12:28

If they don't want to get married then they don't get the legal benefits to marriage. Other option is own the property as joint tenants then it just becomes the others with no issues but if people are refusing to get married and owning property as tenants in common then this is what happens.

Does joint tenancy mean they own the property but are each renting from the other?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/02/2025 18:54

No. The word comes ultimately from the Latin word for hold. Joint tenants in the context of owning a property means jointly holding the legal title.

thehorsesareallidiots · 01/02/2025 18:58

Nantescalling · 01/02/2025 17:53

Does joint tenancy mean they own the property but are each renting from the other?

No, it effectively means they both own the entire property, rather than each owning 50:50. So when one dies, the other continues to own the entire property, and there is no transfer of property as such and nothing that can be left to someone else. But they will be treated as though they had inherited 50% for IHT purposes.

Whereas with tenants in common, each owns a share - most commonly 50%, but any share is possible; I am a "tenant in common" with a small share of a property my DPs own. That share can be left to anyone the owner likes.

Hoppingabout · 01/02/2025 19:19

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/02/2025 18:54

No. The word comes ultimately from the Latin word for hold. Joint tenants in the context of owning a property means jointly holding the legal title.

All underlying "legal" titles are held jointly if there is more than one owner. This is the case for both joint tenants and tenants in common.

The difference between joint tenancy and tenancy in common is how the "beneficial" or equitable ownership is held. This can be held either where each owner nominally owns 100% (JT).or each owner owns a specific share (T in C).

NoMoreLifts · 01/02/2025 19:52

AshCrapp · 30/01/2025 13:15

It needs witnesses, just like signing a will does. You can go to the office with two witnesses and have it be done.

Yes, exactly this. Other example, if you transfer a property's legal ownership you need a notary and proof of identity and intentions etc. Lots of contracts require external confirmation, presence of those involved. None of them require a party.

JaneBoleynViscountessRochford · 02/02/2025 08:23

DollydaydreamTheThird · 31/01/2025 18:47

You can get a civil partnership which is different to marriage but gives you the same rights in terms of finances. Not as patriarchical or full of bullshit traditions. Marriage is another way of controlling women. If you aren't married you are made out to be a crazy cat lady( see recent American election debacle re Kamala Harris) because that is the male agenda. Men benefit from marriage more than women do. They get unpaid labour and get to continue their blood lines. Women do the majority of household tasks and child rearing and often drop their working hours (and therefore pension contributions) to do so. Then the fucking twat will cheat on her for someone younger and screw her over again. Marriage is the biggest tool the patriarchy/religions have used to keep women down. I say fuck getting married.

What a load of nonsense, marriage protects women financially. The type of relationships you describe exist outside of marriage too and those are the ones where the woman ends up fucked over when the man decides to leave, you won’t have to look for long on MN to find a hundred examples of women being screwed because her DP is leaving her with nothing having convinced her for years that ‘marriage is just a piece of paper’ or she has stupidly convinced herself that ‘marriage only benefits the patriarchy’ or, as even seen on this thread, that neither could be arsed getting married because they seem to think that you need to have a party to do it.

There needs to be better education around this.

DecafDodger · 02/02/2025 08:58

Men benefit from marriage more than women do. They get unpaid labour and get to continue their blood lines. Women do the majority of household tasks and child rearing and often drop their working hours (and therefore pension contributions) to do so

I agree, but all the same happens in unmarried relationships, and the women dropping their working hours to do all the unpaid labour would have no claim on the man's assets. So while staying single is best for women, being an unmarried SAHM is a worse position than a married one.

CruCru · 02/02/2025 09:08

Almostwelsh · 01/02/2025 12:17

Yeah. If you can just fill in a form on the internet, what's to stop me marrying a rich man without his consent

Yes, I’m imagining a huge amount of really damaging fraud. You’d end up with people about to get married finding out that someone has already registered them and having to prove it’s nonsense.