No love left in me. am I normal?

[Sab06]

Does anyone ever feel like they have no love left in them?
I feel empty.. I don’t feel love for my partner, for my kids, for my parents, my family! what is seriously wrong with me. It’s a very strange feeling. I lost my empathy too.

For context, I am in my 40s, kids, partner, nice house, nice car, financially fine.

Anyone experienced this?

Yes - it was depression 💗

That’s the same feeling as being depressed. Have you considered that? Have you spoken to your GP?

Depression? I think an appointment with the gp in order.

I been recently feeling this way I am in my 30s also kids, married etc.
I noticed the change in 2023/2024. I would say to be more specific when I stopped breastfeeding DS1

Depression, maybe perimenopause? Definitely speak to GP, you're not 'not normal' and you should be able to get help.

I’ve had periods of feeling like this but I’ve felt happy in myself, it was just I had no tolerance or interest in others. I was early 30s.

This does sound a lot like a symptom of depression.

I was going to say I have definitely felt this as part of the menopause. Just sick of caring for everyone and no love left . Not sure I was or am depressed but often I feel just like leaving everyone to get on with it and sort themselves out as frankly I am fed up of it!

I think it's depression, too. Did this feeling come on suddenly or have you felt like that for a long time?

yes.

causes…

perimenopause
not getting any empathy from anyone else - giving and giving but not getting it back
not having any time for myself/self care.

HRT and self care has helped. I’ve also invested more energy in relationships that feel more reciprocal and stepped away from those that drain me and don’t feed me. DH being one of them sadly. Obviously always show love to DC regardless and don’t expect reciprocal love - just a bonus if it comes.

Yes. When I was unhappily married, raising two young children and working full time. To the outside world my life was perfect. I was drained of all emotion, felt nothing but anger. I suspect I was early peri-meno and unaware. 10 years on I feel totally different and don’t recognise that person.

.

When I felt like this it turned out to be perimenopause.

I finally relented and (for other reasons) went on HRT and the 'human' feelings came back.

Another vote for getting hormones checked

I feel like this and its the first time since i was a teenager that i’m not depressed or anxious. But it does make me feel strange and like there is something not right with me.

i recently had counselling as i grew up with a difficult family - mother who is a functioning alcoholic and has a personality disorder etc. i spent my whole life feeling on edge around my family and on an emotional rollercoaster but now i have put it behind me and feel indifferent about my parents.

i am in my mid forties and just don't care about anyone except my
immediate family- although i am not heartless, i’ll make an effort to help peple going though a hard time etc.

I also feel I do so much work raising my children, and doing the best to be a good parent etc that it has drained all my energy and interest in others.

Possibly the estrogen leaving the building...

Could be depression. Could be that your social battery is flat and you need some time out.

I'm definitely depressed and definitely resentful towards my family. Just feel that I've got very little out of it all, just burden and an endless amount of laundry.

if i feel like this but am happy enough should i still do something about it if it is perimenopause - i dont really understand these things

Hello darkness my old friend indeed, you're depressed my love, please see your GP as soon as you can.

@Sab06 get your blood levels checked.
low vitamin d can show as depression .
You can be just plodding through a day .

Take the tablets for 6 mths of the year from
holland a barrette . If levels are really low you can get an injection

It's hard being a woman, especially a mother as things can seem to be stacked up to curb your freedom while placing huge burdens on you, blame you for everything and then say you are depressed if you aren't happy with it. Or it's the perimenopause... Must be...

Sounds exactly like me - one parent was a textbook narcissist, other an alcoholic with BPD. Absolutely undiagnosed neurodivergence/ADHD in the mix. I realised a while ago that I feel ‘empty’ for the lack of better words. I love my children and put all of my energy into them - like you say the more I pour into the kids the less interesting rest of life becomes. I’m not depressed, hormones all ok. Just very good at detaching from feelings, not sure if it’s an inherited disorder or result of a bad childhood - likely both.

However, if this has started recently @Sab06 i agree with others. Being peri can knock about feelings and it’s definitely worth trying to get to the bottom of it.

Burnout I think

Thank you all for your inputs! I am sorry to read that lots of us are struggling daily but having to put up a brave face and hide away our negative feelings.
It is indeed hard to be a woman, burdened by life, work, family, society in general and we are still expected to look good, dress well…

I have chronic depression but this emptiness is new to me. I have been perimenopause for 2 years now, on an off HRT.

My resentment about life in general has turned into hidden anger.

What prompted me to seek your help, is that yesterday, my auntie passed away and I did not cry, I felt nothing. I told my sisters ‘it is’ sad but I wasn’t ‘sad’. It’s so messed up!