To feel so terrified of moving cities

[MarthaFaukas]

I'm just moaning really.
We are looking to relocate fron London to Leeds, so we can buy somewhere and afford to have a second child.

There's all sorts of reasons I don't want to go, including taking an NHS job I don't really want to do (currently in my dream NHS job and a senior position) which is a demotion, and around 10k pay cut (this includes London weighting, which i appriciate isnt needed outside london!). My partner will also be taking around 10k pay cut, as there aren't any jobs at the moment.
I can't find many "good" nursery places, and I'm anxious about areas and safety. Anyone familiar with Leeds - would the surrounding area of a nursery near Burley Park train station be safe?

I know it must be done, but it doesnt make it any easier. And I'm terrified- i know nothing of this city, no friends or family. Ive looked at all the options but i dont want to commute, or spend most of my pay on trains!!
Anyone else been there?

The only thing I know about Leeds is that it has a Steampunk market, which I would love to go to.🙂

Leeds can’t be that much cheaper that you’ll still be better off financially after a 20k pay cut?!

Lots of people rent and have kids in London. 20 grand pay cut is a lot; will you still be able to afford Leeds?

Not sure what you mean by ‘good’ nursery places. Have you viewed them and found them lacking or is this based on looking at websites?
You mention you know nobody in Leeds. Why there? Are you both from London?

Child care is A LOT cheaper. And a mortgage would be cheaper than rent we pay at the moment.
We would not be better off, but that's the point - we can't afford to buy a house in London! So stay renting and have a second child (which is what I really want), or buy and have a 2nd and be better off in that sense.

Life is hard!

Why did you choose somewhere so far away and that you don't know?

There are lots of affordable options just outside of London op. Have you looked at places like Chatham or Canterbury and Dover. Folkestone and Hythe are lovely.

Means you can buy somewhere cheaper and not have to lose so much money but you can still commute up to London.

It seems like a drastic move if you don’t have any connection there. Aren’t there any other places cheaper than London but that don’t fill you with horror? I just think sometimes you should listen to your gut and it doesn’t sound like you’re happy about the idea of this move.

But an annual season ticket from Chatham would be at least £5k - moving out of London to the Home Counties is often a false economy as what you save in rent/mortgage payments, you spend on train tickets instead. It’s really only worth it if you only need to go into London once or twice a week, or only one half of the couple is commuting.

5k is nothing compared to the 20k they'd lose by moving to Leeds though.

Of course, but it’s not going to make it any easier for them to afford a second child as opposed to if they stay within London. And if both of them need a season ticket, then it’s 10k - plus more for any tube travel once in London.

I would have a rethink - can you move into a larger flat in London rather than a house, or move to, I dunno, Reading, and commute.

Or look at some other cities eg Bristol to see if you like them better.

I don’t mind Leeds but it’s rather quiet unless you’re a student and if you must leave London (and I think you need to examine that) there are places that might work better for you.

@StrawberryWater @LolaPeony I always find the trains cost argument down south funny. Live anywhere else and pay double that in car costs per year.

Why? You’d also need a car in Chatham if you had kids.

Other than that, not all of ‘Down South’ is the Home Counties, FYI

People in the south have cars too! Plenty of people don’t live within walking distance of a station and have to drive there before getting the train into London.

Might be spending a bit less on petrol to get to work, but the cars cost the same, as does the insurance.

Leeds is also the largest city in Western Europe that doesn’t have a tram or metro system - the public transport is terrible.

Moving there from London could be a real shock.

I think that’s an odd decision. Why Leeds of all places and you don’t even want to go there?!

Doesn't sound like either of you want to go. With a £20k pay cut, I think you'll both be miserable.

I know nothing about Leeds but what's your bet gain on paper.

£20K salary cut when neither of you are going tobjobs you really want is a lot unless the numbers really stack up. With the after tax difference net salary less the childcare cost plus/minus any other changes, what does it work out at? That would be my deciding factor. Happiness also has a value.

Completely mad idea, you've way more opportunities to grow your careers in London.

The only reason it wouldn't be mad is if your family was there and they were your childcare

Buy a flat. There's no way a house up there is cheaper than an ok flat down here.

Post your budget and I bet the hive mind can find you a decent 2 bed in London for your budget

Why Leeds? Would a smaller city not be better

I'm a southerner who moved to Leeds 13 years ago. We didn't know anyone either. I absolutely love it! It's a diverse and vibrant city. The people are friendly. It's surrounded by beautiful countryside and there are loads of interesting places to visit nearby. I'd like to live here for the rest of my life!
Sorry I don't know anything about the area near Burley Park. I think it's fine bit there are nicer places to live in Leeds (more expensive places!).

I'd rather live in Leeds than Reading. It's a thriving city - though transport is shite. Burley Park is studenty, diverse - not fancy but safe enough. To buy somewhere nice in Leeds can be pricey. Secondary education not particularly inspiring.

Honestly from your OP, I wouldn’t do the move

You don’t sound like you want to at all and why Leeds? Hold out for a better job in somewhere with better connections to London or don’t move?

YABU. You sound nowhere near ready to make such a move and your research so far hasn't been great.