To feel so terrified of moving cities

[MarthaFaukas]

I'm just moaning really.
We are looking to relocate fron London to Leeds, so we can buy somewhere and afford to have a second child.

There's all sorts of reasons I don't want to go, including taking an NHS job I don't really want to do (currently in my dream NHS job and a senior position) which is a demotion, and around 10k pay cut (this includes London weighting, which i appriciate isnt needed outside london!). My partner will also be taking around 10k pay cut, as there aren't any jobs at the moment.
I can't find many "good" nursery places, and I'm anxious about areas and safety. Anyone familiar with Leeds - would the surrounding area of a nursery near Burley Park train station be safe?

I know it must be done, but it doesnt make it any easier. And I'm terrified- i know nothing of this city, no friends or family. Ive looked at all the options but i dont want to commute, or spend most of my pay on trains!!
Anyone else been there?

Why Leeds? Where are your friends and family? There are plenty of cheaper places outside London that wouldn’t require such a big relocation.

Leeds is an absolutely brilliant city.
Not sure why you're worried about it being safe, when you're in London.
Why choose Leeds if it terrifies you, you seem to know nothing about the place and have nothing positive to say about the move?!

Everywhere terrifies me 😅 moving away from everything I know is scary.

My family are overseas, so no ties to anywhere really!

Stay put. You’ll be miserable by the sound of it.

OP the idea in general isn't total insane. I can 100% understand your reasoning. However you need to be excited about the move and where you are moving to. A new family arrived from abroad to our school last year and they were saying the DH had several job offers in various parts of the country (he is a Dr) so they travelled around the previous summer spending time in various places and got the feels of where they felt would suit them as like yourselves they wanted a nice house with a garden and space etc even though we were all a bit baffled as they relocated from somewhere much more glamorous than our town but they were looking for a certain lifestyle and they are very happy.
Don't rush into a move can you find somewhere that makes you excited and enthusiastic.

Am I the only person who opened this post thinking it was about some kind of new phenomenon where cities just get up and move? Like the whole of Birmingham just pulls up into the sky and drops down next to Portsmouth one day.

Stay put!

I live in London. No way would I do this. It doesn't even sound beneficial with the huge wage cuts and shaky employment potential for your DP. Do you think you might be dreading it so much because your subconscious is screaming at you not to do it?

I’d stay put and not have a second child, if that’s the price of staying in London. I see precisely why you’re contemplating it, but you clearly don’t want to, and that’s the only reason that ultimately counts.

Moving is scary but it doesn't sound like the reasons are particularly compelling.

I like Leeds but you are giving up a lot to move, if I'm honest. A dream job doesn't come up very often.

Burley park is full of students. It’s not where I’d want to live with a child. Have you visited?

Why don’t you look somewhere a bit further out, that is nicer but has a train station.

Suggestions:

1. Higher price range: Ilkley, Horsforth
2. More affordable, still nice: Pudsey/Farsley/Rodley, Woodlesford, Morley, Wakefield (lots of stations around here)

Why would you give up a dream job to go spend most of your time in one you don't like for the sake of a house!!! Crazy!

There are plenty of commuter areas around London to consider first before moving right across the country.

If you haven’t got ties to anywhere, then why Leeds?

I work in Leeds, and used to live there. I now live in Sheffield and commute in once or twice a week. Sheffield is so much nicer imo.

If you want to move outside of London, just to buy a house, why don’t you also consider:

• Newcastle
• York (central parts are expensive)
• Sheffield
• Liverpool

I’m a Londoner and was fortunate enough to buy my house a long time ago. If I was with a young child I would do what you are doing and go to a northern city. Leeds sounds like a brilliant city and you have some great countryside close by. Average property costs must be way lower. Also travel in London is mad now - £50 per week zone 1-3. It’s going to be nerve wracking but seems logical to me. Good luck!

Why Leeds as others have said? Seems a bit of a random choice. Have you properly researched wages, house prices & childcare costs in other cities? There are many other places other than Leeds. A move like this needs a lot of research and thought.

@MarthaFaukas what did you decide?? We also feel we need to leave London to have a second child, but it's soooo scary! Been here 15 years. We've got family in Cambridge and Brighton but they're both so expensive. We want to commute a few days each so we're looking at Leigh on sea, Folkestone, Margate... But with all options I feel terrified!! But I'm not really sure I want to stay in London either tbh, just so conflicted!! I feel your pain lol

Decided to stay for a couple of years for the NHS mat leave. It takes the pressure off finding another NHS job without a massive pay cut and will open up options for other jobs. My partner is looking for other job opportunities which may make it easier for him to get a higher paying job when we move.

We will move out/buy when the kids are at school. But it's all scary 😨
Good luck!!

I’ve not RTFT but personally I’d stay in London - more opportunities there of all kinds ..

My DD moved from London to Leeds and she absolutely loves it. She was able to buy a house which would have been impossible in London and she has made loads of friends in the area. She doesn't have any children though so i have no idea about that. We love going to visit her.

What’s your budget op for a house? We are in SE London so a 18-20 mins commute to Victoria. Maybe we can help you find something to buy. Does it have to be a house? Would ground floor flat be ok?

Why Leeds is you don't have friends or family?

Sorry - just seen update!

Definitely look at locations nearer to London when you're ready to make the move!

If you do move to Leeds with small children, do not live in Burley or nearby (Woodhouse, Hyde Park). Pretty ratty, very studenty, not family-friendly. As others have suggested, look at the train lines out along the Airedale and Wharfedale valleys, Chapel Allerton (short bus ride) or best of all Roundhay (again, short bus or cycle into town). You'll probably want to look at schools too.

I'm wondering why you've picked Leeds? Is this just the first job which came up? I don't know Leeds so no idea if it's a good choice but it also seems like you have no idea about it so it does seem a strange choice. Is there not a city you've been to before that you liked and might have a better feel for which would make the move easier. Have you committed to this job yet?