“Tight” or “Thrifty”?

[G1fted0rN0t]

Do you think people who are very careful with spending their money are “tight” or “thrifty”? I don’t mean budgeting or saving but going to more of an extreme. I’m interested to know if this is seen as a positive or negative characteristic, and to hear your experiences.

I like people who are generous with what they have but I don’t mind people who are bargain hunters or careful so long as they treat other people fairly/the same as themselves. So I don’t like it when people save themselves money by taking advantage of others. E.g. I used to go out in a big group and one couple would order loads of expensive food and drinks compared to others and then be keen to split the bill and not contribute to the tip.

Another acquaintance was so keen to save money on their wedding that he held it in the it family garden (fair enough), but then had his siblings and parents run ragged putting the whole thing together (stage/multiple gazebos etc.) without helping. They went for a less expensive buffet (no problem there) but the portions were tiny and people went hungry. They even made a joke about how tight they are in their vows…which made me cringe!

Thoughts..,

If people budget because they don't havea lot of money that's sensible. But folk that have plenty of money yet begrudge every penny spent are tight and not that nice to know,

Yes I agree. The wedding guy actually isn’t struggling for cash this just seems to be part of his personality

I've been to a wedding where the couple did very similar, the wedding was absolutely shite and the good bits were down to family and friends helping out both financially and practically.

They even asked guests if they’d come back the next day and clear and clean up the venue for them. I’ve never been able to look at them the same since, they try the “let’s split the bill” thing too, I always refuse.

These type of people aren’t “tight”, they’re parasites and they do what they do with forethought, they deliberately take advantage of anyone who’ll let them.

So cringey! I actually felt embarrassed at the situation. There were a lot of elderly/disabled/kids in pushchairs at the wedding too and the set up was really unsafe/I could see people really struggling.

I agree with you, I think there is a difference between savvy and meanness.
I cannot abide the people who always disappear to the toilet when it’s their round for example.
I think the difference is when it impacts others.

Yeah I agree with you
Do whatever you want moneywise if it only affects yourself. I'm probably towards the thriftier end of the scale myself.
It's only tight when it affects other people.

e.g. my house thermostat is set pretty low (very low according to most on here) - I don't really feel the cold and prefer to just stick an oodie on and keep moving most of the time. But if I had guests over of course I'd whack it up to a level they were comfortable with rather than expect them to sit there with coats on!

same with eating out. Couldn't care less if a group goes out to eat and one person only has a starter and tap water, if we're all paying for ourselves. But ordering 3 courses, wine and cocktails and then suggesting splitting the bill when they know most people have had much less is tight.

We were very thrifty with our DIY wedding, but that mainly took the approach of doing things ourselves so that we could provide tonnes of decent food and a free bar for two nights. Lots leftover too that we shared with friends.

I think thrifty is something you choose for yourself.

Tight is something you impose on something else.

Has spare money+not willing to spend it=tight
Has limited funds and minimal spare+careful with purchases=thrifty

Yes I agree. It sounds like you were generous because you made sure your guests had plenty to eat and drink

Yes I agree. I think someone can have generosity of spirit even if they don’t have a lot of cash. For example, a second hand gift from a charity shop can still be a very thoughtful and generous gift if it’s chosen with care for the recipient.

My OH always notices how much things cost in the supermarket (more so than me) and he likes a bargain. We joke about me being profligate because I’ll only eat green giant sweetcorn, for example. However, he’s very generous with me and other people and very sensitive to other people’s means so would never try and freeload in a million years. I would consider him thrifty and a bit austere with himself day to day but generous when it counts and very kind spirited.

I think thrifty is something you choose for yourself.

nice destination, I agree.

What's "spare" money though?

We save significant amounts into pensions and savings for a house move. I treat them as a bill, and I have a monthly allowance of £250/month for fun. I won't spend out of my savings, but I will plan out the month and try not to skimp unreasonably.

That sounds more like sensible budgeting to me, although I suppose it depends on how you spend the fun money. I think a PP said that being tight is imposing your ways on others. So like the examples PPs have given

I have to say, although I totally get people are free to spend their money how they like, it’s off-putting if someone is willing to spend lots of themselves/their hobbies etc. but is tight with others.

Under ordering food to the extent where guests can see there isn't enough - of a portioned hot supper where people were served so nobody was taking more than a share as they couldn't , not putting any heating on because "there are enough bodies we don't need it " when hosting. Ir was snowing outside and they had a log burner. Tight.
Buying yellow sticker food and loving a bargain but then being happy to pay for fancy tea bags for me as a small gift , that's thrifty
Generous of spirit divides the two

Bargains are great but seeing other humans as a bargain cos they pay your bill?

Meanness and greed ain’t pretty. It’s so obvious too.

When someone tells you who they are, listen.

I think thrifty is avoiding waste. Don't by things you don't need, being careful about finding bargains and choosing the best value and not buying things you don't need or consider needlessly extravagant.

If you take advantage of other people to save money eg not paying fuel when sharing lifts, paying less than your share on a bill, using other people for free labour without repaying them etc etc then you are tight.

I don't think either necessarily relate to how much money you have, although it's obviously easier to not be either if you have enough money!
So however much I earned I wouldn't want to eg spend £100s on a fancy meal or tens of thousands on a wedding as I'd feel it was a waste of money. But i wouldnt EAT the fancy meal if someone else was paying for it or have the wedding by scrounging free labour or services.

I begrudge every penny I spend. I worked hard to earn it why should I over pay for a product or service that isn't worth what someone is trying to charge me.

I measure every time I boil the kettle so I only boil the water I need
I have solar panels and a battery.
I got shot of my car as it travelled 4 miles a week (we still have my wife's but I like to walk/cycle)
I monitor our spending and have a spreadsheet for that, and our bank accounts.

But if you are out for a drink with me I stand my round, if you come here for a meal you will get a prime steak and home made food...we go out 2 or 3 times a week for drinks, eat out at least twice a week...my wife doesn't know what she wants for her birthday cos there's nothing she needs

In other words I watch every penny to spend on living a good life.

I think the difference is who it impacts rather than how careful you are with your money or how much you spend on anything. If you want to buy all your clothes secondhand, reuse your teabags, walk three miles each way to work, and buy from the yellow sticker aisle even when you don’t desperately need to, the only person your habits have an impact on is you. That’s thrift. But if you hide in the toilet whenever it’s your round at the pub, or invite people around and keep the heating so low they can see their breath, and never contribute to the food pot luck at BBQs, you are a negative impact on the people around you. That’s tight.

Sounds like you are more thrifty than most but you are generous with friends/family so not tight

I would say I’m thrifty. Always got drinks and snacks in the car as “won’t pay cafe prices”. I don’t make others sub me though I think that’s really tight.

I’m thrifty verging on frugal but doing so allows me to be generous with others and splurge on other occasions
I shop around, buy second hand, outlet or clearance - love a BOGOF or yellow sticker but would not dream of not paying my way or helping others who are worse off

I dislike folk like that and want to keep well away from such folk. Strange, very strange.

You are tight.
I am thrifty.

HTH.