Family visiting

[kimberlypo]

My boyfriend and I recently had a baby he's 2 weeks old. We talked while pregnant about family visiting and how I would want to wait until DS was at least 6 weeks. 2 days pp he insisted we take DS to meet his family. I told him I was not comfortable, but he really wanted his family to meet him so we drove 2 hours away.Recently he asked if they could visit this time I said yes. We do not live together so everything in my home I purchased. I have no issue with family coming,but he's moving my furniture around and throwing away my things he does not see value in because (I'll be damned if I let them see all this shit).

I'm annoyed because things were fine the way they were. We obviously had empty diaper/wipes boxes which could easily be taken care of. All of the other things are very unnecessary. He previously suggested meeting somewhere and honestly that would have probably been the best option if I knew he would do this.

Run.

6 weeks seems excessive, 2 makes more sense but then you know your baby and you might not be breastfeeding. If you are breastfeeding they get quite a lot of protection from that.

What worries me the most is a newborn baby being in a car seat for 4 hours!!!

Please stop focussing on yourselves and starting thinking about the kid?

6 week wait to meet family is on the extreme side. A 2 hour drive each way 2 days after birth is outrageous for you and your tiny baby. I can just imagine my midwife's face if we'd have done that with our newborns! He should also leave your stuff in your house alone. BF is bad news.

You are absolutely correct, nobody has any right to see the baby until you (both, together) agree it’s the right time. You’re the parent it’s your job to control the environment your child is in and who comes in to your environment.

I agree with pp, tell him to get lost with that behaviour in your house, completely unacceptable.

We need a "totally missing the point" emoji.

All of this.

Completely neurotic to not let family meet the baby for 6 weeks.

Completely unreasonable to travel 2 hours 2 days after giving birth.

Completely unreasonable for him to be throwing out things from your home, even more so considering he doesn't even share it with you.

So it depends which part you are asking if you are being unreasonable about.

As someone said quite early on, you have bigger problems than this one family visit.

Johns Hopkins says:

“Parents should try to limit the number of visitors their babies come in close contact with overall. Consider having extended family and friends wait two to three months until your baby's immune system is stronger to plan their visits.”

It is very sensible to be strict with visitors around newborns and it’s better safe than sorry. Here’s a video that might help explain why.

The first part is being a bit unreasonable (6 weeks) grandparents should be able to see baby within 1st few days. But with facetime/zoom etc this is possible where distance is involved. THEY should have come to you! Being forced on a 2hr (4hrs round trip?) With a newborn!? Totally out of order.
2nd part. Not being unreasonable at all. Why is he throwing away your stuff? The sheer arrogance. A reasonable person would have asked if he could put them somewhere safely out of the way. What a horrible person - can't even bring myself to call him a man.
Your bf is totally disrespecting your boundaries. Am struggling to understand why you would choose to have a baby with someone that is not treating you like the amazing woman you are, who's just given him a son.

I'd cancel the visit or go to his place. Them being in your home makes it harder for you to leave when you're ready.
Do you have a close friend/family member who can be on hand to help drive you?

Firstly, was the six week wait for EVERYONE, or just HIS family? Because that’s important. He has every right to decide when his family meet his child, just as much as you do. Obviously not expecting you to travel for two hours, but trying to prevent them seeing his child at all is frankly equally ridiculous.
Throwing your things away also sounded ridiculous, until you mentioned “empty boxes”, and I’m not sure why you would be hoarding these in the first place.
I can’t see the relationship surviving very long tbh, so I’d recommend working on co-parenting, that’s if this is even real, which I very much doubt.

Why have a child with someone you don't live with? What's that going to teach them as they get older about stable cohesive supportive relationships and a family unit?

How do you people cope with health visits in those first 2 months? You’ve no idea who else those people have being around previously or coming down with colds themselves. Then again I can bet my life on none of you actually doing a thorough research into the vaccines you’re allowing to be pumped into your babies bodies either. Do you even read the inserts that come with the vials? I was stupid and niave aswell with my kids and regret every last one I allowed them to be poisoned with, then I managed to get my hands on inserts which isn’t freely given anymore by health “professionals” doing the injecting and I read them properly and was horrified. Embarrassed to know I was so easily trusting 🤢

OP, don't put his name on the birth certificate. That way when you want to break ties with this selfish controlling misogynist you can get away properly.

Her point is pointless

RabbitsEatPancakes · 30/01/2025 07:09

2hrs in a car seat for a 2 day old is hugely unsafe! I'm guessing that's 4hrs in the day too.
They shouldn't be in the car seat more than 20mins at a time, 2hrs a day max! They say that for the first 12 weeks. At 2 days no chance!
Anyone who insisted on that would be nowhere near me or my baby.”

This. It’s up to mum when she’s ready to introduce her baby, anyway.
How dare your BF throw your belongings out of your house?!

You and your narcissistic boyfriend are well suited