To think this a totally normal reaction to a break up and my friends are crazy

[Dreamily]

On of my close friends has just gone through a break up, he broke up with her just before Christmas, they still talk and it's all very healthy, no hard feelings etc.
Most of this month she has been fairly quiet, minded her own business, not been very active in the group chat etc. Then at the weekend she went out with some other friends partying until 3am (she's 26 no children fwiw), and has made loads of plans with lots of friends for the next few weeks, plus a ski holiday and weekend away alone.
I see no reason for concern, she dealt with the hard part quietly and now she wants to party and get her life back - seems normal to me.

However lots of our mutual friends are acting like the sudden switch up is concerning and we should take her for lunch and basically host some sort of intervention. She's still going to work and no drug use or anything concerning as far as we know.

AiBU to think this is a crazy overreaction and she's just processing in a healthy normal way.

I read a thread on here in the last couple of days. A woman had broken up with a partner and it didn't sound like a serious relationship but she was "being triggered" when seeing him, having bad days, obsessing, meditating and journaling but still not moving on. I was utterly baffled by the support for - what seemed to me - like a lot of unhealthy focus on the wrong things. Getting over something like this should involve some self care and quiet and a bit of time and then focus on next steps and getting out there in a way that feels right to you. Some people seem to need to play a role in other people's lives, so much so that they'll write the drama themselves.

I've a friend going through the grieving process for her husband who is similarly baffled by the way people have become such vultures for sadness when it's unwarranted. She says that she's working her hardest at processing, managing and moving through the day and several people seem determined to assume she's one breath away from losing it at every moment. She wonders why they seem to want her to be falling apart at all times. Of course, she is falling apart in some ways she acknowledges, but people want a performative grief from her that she can't give.

It sounds to me more as though she's gone through a period of grieving over the breakup and has now given herself a shake and decided to get on with life and enjoy herself!

Good for her.

Good for her - totally normal behaviour.

Your/her other friends are very naive. They’re not jealous of her are they?

I wouldn’t assume they are jealous. I’ve been the friend in this situation recently and I’m more irritated and concerned. Irritated because my friend ditched everything for years, including special events, for her DH and now she’s back wants us to live like we’re 18 but we’ve been there and done it already.
Concerned because late nights out and drinking never mix well with sadness and grief. Also worried because my friend is vulnerable and some men are exploiting that.
Why don’t you say to your friends you think she’s just living her life and see what they say? There may be more to it, she may have told them stories from her night out that are concerning them.

Sounds normal and healthy to me.

Her reaction is better than normal. It’s really positive that she is able to start looking towards new opportunities and experiences already. Well done her!

Normal could also include moping/crying for a few months - she’s doing brilliantly. An intervention would be bizarre!

Very normal reaction and these mutual ‘friends’ sound like busybodies

They sound like they would rather she was miserable and suffering.......nice "friends"

It seems odd to me that you're asking strangers on the internet to judge your friend's behaviour against some universal standard of what's Normal.
Everyone's different, there is no rule book for how to respond to a break up. If your mutual friends are worried I'd give more weight to that than random strangers on the net.

Sadly I’ve come across this phenomenon all too often. It REALLY sucks

The people you should really be careful of are those who don’t clap when you win!

I'm 39 with a partner and 14 year old and I was out until 5am last night 🤣
Seriously, the only intervention needed is on your mates sticking their oars in.

She has dealt with it in a mature and drama free way it sounds like they just want gossip and for her to be a crying screaming mess so they can have some drama to talk about