About DD not getting a part - again

[Helladelinquent]

I’m going back and forward on this and I can’t make up my mind.

Both DDs (8 & 11) do stage school as a hobby. They both loved it.
It’s a pretty popular stage school and they do 2 big shows in the local theatre a year.
DD2 has had a small part in the last 4 shows even though normally the woman running it says if someone has had a part in the previous show, you don’t get a part in the next show.
DD1 though hasn’t had any part in the previous 5/6 shows. The cast list has just gone up for the next show and one girl actually has 2 parts and yet again DD hasn’t got any. She’s now feeling completely hopeless and like she’ll never get a part.

WIBU to message the woman running it and ask for some pointers on how DD could improve her auditions.

I think you would be well within your rights to do this.

Wow your poor daughter. I'd love to hear the women's reasoning for one child having two parts and some having none, no wonder she feels demoralised.

I would absolutely be having a word with the teacher. 5/6 time of never having any part seems incredibly unreasonable. I find it hard to believe they couldn't have found her a single role in any of the shows.

I think thats mean. Your DD should at least get a small part. I think I would rather speak to the leader in person rather than message.

Surely every child should get a part, however small. I thought one of the points of children going to stage school is to gain confidence and boost their self-esteem. This is doing the opposite.

Definitely speak to her if the policy is everyone gets a turn

I’m actually worried that if I talk to her I’ll get angry at the leader and just pull both DD out of the stage school. DD2 still loves it so I don’t want to burn all my bridges.

Could she do the part with confidence? I don't think it's always the case of ticking the box to say everyone has had a turn. If they can't do it they can't do it.

I would speak to her. I have kids in MT and would want to know. I would phrase it like you suggested with what could DD do to improve her chances and see what she says. I would advise to give it 24/48 hours to go over what she says before deciding to pull your DD in the heat of the moment. It seems too many shows to not get a single part.

Your first idea was best, express your concern and ask for pointers for your DD.

She absolutely could do the part, she’s had parts before, just not in the last few shows.

Wow and you’re paying for this?? My ds school do a big musical every year, it’s performed at our town theatre. Any child in the school can be in it! Obviously the big parts have to be auditioned for, but everyone who is interested can be in the show.

Were there other kids that didn’t have parts when yours did?

Just to be clear (the last post made me want to clarify) DD has been on side stage for the shows she hasn’t had a part in. No lines, join in the songs and a few dance moves. Not the same as getting a part.

Yes. I don’t know if there are many other kids who haven’t had parts for as long as DD. Certainly none of her large friend group.

That clarification helps but didn’t answer the question…. You said your daughter has had parts before. I’m assuming speaking parts for those shows. In those shows have there been kids who haven’t had speaking parts.

Disregard… cross posted

Well, this suggests you’re massively emotionally over-invested, if you don’t think you can speak civilly to the teacher in question! Breathe and practise being polite and assertive. Can her dad, if involved, talk to the teacher if you’re likely to lose your temper and withdraw your child from a hobby she loves?

I would absolute say something. Someone should not have '2' parts when your isn't even being given 1 in spite of their own assurances.

Do you think it could be part of a larger equalization of parts?

I do think you’re overreacting a bit and need to dial it way back. By all means have a chat with the leaders but more in a “hmm… dd was a little disappointed she didn’t get a speaking part this time, is there something she should be practicing or working on” vs. going all stage mum on the leader and pulling the girls from an activity they enjoy.

Being honest I would of asked the question a few shows ago rather than waiting it out 5-6 shows with no part.

You aren’t being unreasonable and you are well within your right - you’re paying for this and the policy is there so why isn’t the leader following? You just need to call her and ask, “My DD x hasn’t had a part now for 5 shows and I’m confused as to why”

I think that's a shame! When I was teaching I used to put on shows and anyone who wanted a speaking, singing or dancing part could have one. I've added characters, added words and added songs & dances to accommodate the children because they are who the show was for!

It’s a kids’ stage school not RADA. All kids who want to participate should be able to.

Exactly. Surely the show is for the kids benefit in helping them develop confidence and therefore they should be actively encouraging most of the children to have a role.

Yes this is lovely and the right approach. It’s a kids club, it’s not the west end. The kids are meant to be trying things out and getting new experiences. Their desire to want to do it is the most important thing. If too many want to do it for one show then they take in turns. I would talk to the person in charge and maybe find another group if this group didn’t match those values.

To be honest it’s all part of a bigger picture of a few niggles I’ve had (including her swearing at younger kids (not mine) because they weren’t taking their role of ‘pirate no.3’ seriously enough.

YANBU at all. It’s a paid hobby not a professional show.

All kids should get parts with reasonable regularity as that’s what’s being paid for - a chance to perform, not just watch others do it.

I would go and speak to the person who runs it, but don’t get angry