About DD not getting a part - again

[Helladelinquent]

I’m going back and forward on this and I can’t make up my mind.

Both DDs (8 & 11) do stage school as a hobby. They both loved it.
It’s a pretty popular stage school and they do 2 big shows in the local theatre a year.
DD2 has had a small part in the last 4 shows even though normally the woman running it says if someone has had a part in the previous show, you don’t get a part in the next show.
DD1 though hasn’t had any part in the previous 5/6 shows. The cast list has just gone up for the next show and one girl actually has 2 parts and yet again DD hasn’t got any. She’s now feeling completely hopeless and like she’ll never get a part.

WIBU to message the woman running it and ask for some pointers on how DD could improve her auditions.

My DC attend a weekend theatre school which I assume is similar to what you are talking about. They are money-making businesses more than training grounds for future performers. As such it's only fair that everyone who wants to should have a chance to perform. One of my DC had a large part in a show so the following year they, quite fairly, gave her only a small role so that others could have a turn. It's the parents who are expected to buy tickets to these shows.

Absolutely say something. This is a paid for extra curricular activity so it's not as if you're harassing a stressed teacher about a school show. As an organisation whose only focus is this, they should have a system to properly manage access to parts.

Yes because I love your approach. You didn’t come into this with a wtf attitude and get all agro - which never works anyway. You are simply asking what your daughter can do to improve and get a part next time,

The constructive criticism may be really useful and otherwise it might make them think about including your daughter next time.

This! After the 2nd show with no part I would have been speaking to the woman! This isn't the West End! I bet the other parents with kids in the shows have a high share of voice with her. It's always like this, the gobbiest parents obtain what they want for their kids because it's not worth the hassle for whoever is organising!
They won't give her the star part if she's not great, but they will definitely give her a part of some sort!
Definitely complain!

If there's a big chance that could happen have your partner or grandparents or someone less involved speak to them instead.

You're paying for a service from this company. I'd be kicking up a fuss and demanding my daughter be given a part. Couldn't care less if I looked like 'that' parent or if the person running the group thought badly of me for doing so.

Just drop a message
"Hey notice that Dd wasn't chosen for a part in the show. So will be looking for a different class for her as she is obviously not gaining the skills needed to preform at this class. "

Bet they start backtracking

This was me throughout my whole childhood and adolescence. It lit a fire in my belly though, and I’m now a full time pro performer running my own touring show. I’d seek some extra tuition/coaching for DD1 to check that her technique is up to scratch…and as others have suggested, ask the existing stage school head for some constructive feedback.

There’s no way I’d have been as motivated to succeed if I hadn’t had all those hard knocks.

Depends on the stage school I think....

Our daughters went to a different schools - one was very much a hobby, the other was almost like a commercial production company - going the Fringe etc to put shows on - the latter was definitely just a meritocracy

My DC have been to a few stage school type clubs and I've noticed at some of them there is a core set of parents who schmooze with the principal and their DC get most parts.

^This!^

There is usually politics and nepotism involved in kids am-dram

But DD has no intention of making this her career. It’s something fun to do with her friends.

This exactly. What you want to email them is a really respectful and polite way of phrasing it that won’t get the stage schools back up. It’s a gentle hint to them to consider your daughter for future parts and keeps her on their brain and then they can justify what she needs to do to get the next part.

Could you afford a few private lessons?
In my experience it's quite often the kids who have private lessons that get the big parts because the teacher knows them better and knows what they're capable of. It isn't really fair but it's the way it works.
I'd definitely talk to the teacher, explain how she's feeling and ask if some private lessons might help.
Is your dd quiet/middle of the road child?
Sadly they do quite often end up being a bit "forgotten" which may have happened here.

I'm willing to bet that once you point out how long it's been a part is magically available for the next show.

God, I don't mean this to sound contentious, but could there be a reason why they don't get picked?

So, for example, one of my DC got picked quite a lot by the drama teacher and the other always got included some way or another. One time I went up to the Drama teacher and I thanked her for always including my DC. The response I got was quite a surprise. She said to me, "Thanks, but they are the ones doing me a favour. Your DC are really reliable. I know they are going to turn up and I know they are going to learn their lines and make loads of effort, so I can get on with sorting out the rest of them".

Thinking about it the teacher needs to put on a good show, that the parents are going to enjoy, and where the kids are going to turn up ready. I can now see why they pick certain DC all the time. A friend of mine was always writing letters of complaint to the school as her drama enthusiasts never got picked for games fixtures so she thought they should at least get the drama main parts. The truth was they were always late, and always off sick, so despite being good at acting, they didn't get picked as they were unreliable.

The point I am trying to make is that there is actually much more to it than picking good actors, and giving DC a fair turn.

If you think you will struggle to be polite about it, maybe send an email instead? Don’t fly it off: write it, leave it then come back to it.

Dear Mrs Drama Lady,

Please would you mind having a chat with Arabella and giving some pointers about how she could improve her audition technique for the next show? She’s feeling a bit disheartened not to have had a speaking part in quite a while. Thank you for everything you do for the stage school. Lily especially is really loving it at the moment.

Best wishes
Janet

I have done drama as a hobby - I think sometimes people casting get very stuck on certain ideas and start to overlook or ignore some people. I would very much ask questions about what the situation is, and what can be done. Giving 2 parts to one person and none to another is really poor, IMO

Ok I'm going to get blasted.

I was in YMT and various am dram as a child. I wasn't very good. My DM thought I was, so I started to believe I was. I know now I was not.

My DM told me for years that I was being robbed/should have had lead singing and speaking roles. I actually wasn't very good.

It took me until my late teens to realise this because my DM was telling me and everyone else otherwise. I now wish she hadn't.

Could it be that your DD just isn't up to the roles?

I guess it depends if you were initially lead to believe that everyone gets a part. If not, then surely it’s about the best audition? Is your daughter distressed that she’s not being given a part? Definitely go back to the musical director and ask how she can improve. If however your daughter is more concerned about the social aspect of it then I wouldn’t worry.

I might be showing my age here, but no production (kids, adult, professional or amateur) I’ve performed in, or cast has ever been about everyone getting a part.

And just to add…

I think your daughter is very sensible not wanting to make this her career. There are very few of us who earn enough to make ends meet! 😐

Just speak to the teacher OP. You don't need a host of anonymous MNers to tell you this isn't on.

She may feel that people will be watching ''her'' shows, so she wants them to be as slick as possible, rather than be fun like a school play.

Ha! In my experience (3 x dc), schools are the very worst for not giving everyone a ‘turn’. In each of my dc’s cohorts, there were always a dozen or so children who were the pool for the main parts every time. They went to a large primary, so 85/90 children per year group.

I would ask.

My dd belonged to a drama club, but every child would have a part in the annual show - ie a few lines.

She knows herself that her voice isn’t strong enough for the lead roles so she auditions for the smaller parts.

That was our first theatre school and a reason to swap.

The second one was very clear about providing private lesson and had several children in West End shows/Performing Arts Secondary schools but their "normal" lessons were still very inclusive and while DD never had a solo in Musical Theatre, she had plenty of good lines and floor space in their shows.

If I pay a small fortune for the annual show and ensure she attends rehersal all the time, then I also think the school should ensure there is a place for everyone.

DD now decided to concentrate on drama only in an amateur theatre because that's where her main interest and talent lies. While the youth group is open to everyone, the older teens have the opportunity to participate in the theatre's general plays and that's then by audition/invitation only.