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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we are becoming a country of hypochondriacs?

485 replies

YellowTulips25 · 29/01/2025 08:51

Firstly, let me preface this by saying that I entirely sympathise with people who have to live with serious long-term medical conditions. I don't wish to downplay illness or disabilities - visible or hidden - at all.

However, does anyone else feel like we're rapidly becoming a country of hypochondriacs, where an increasing number of people let seemingly minor health issues dominate their life?

For example, an article on the BBC this week features a woman who talks about having 'chronic pain, migraines and travel sickness' as reasons why it's impossible for her to work in an office. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

I think most of us suffer from aches and pains and headaches from time to time? What'd happen if we all started using this excuse?

And I know plenty of friends who always seem to have some ailment or other troubling them, whether it's being in pain, being tired, having a cough or cold, etc etc. It seems almost as if constantly being ill is part of their personality, a badge of honour?

I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but surely I can't be the only one to feel like rolling my eyes at some people's lack of resilience?

A woman with grey hair is stood centre frame. She has a solemn impression on her face and is wearing a grey turtle neck and light blue coat. She is stood in the woods.

Working from home criticism sparks anger: 'We are not lazy'

Hundreds of BBC readers disagreed with former Asda boss Lord Rose's view that working from home is "not proper work".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Tisthedamnseason · 29/01/2025 11:48

Fartypants83 · 29/01/2025 11:45

Yes, completely agree. No ambition with some people, no ability to push on and create a better life.

This along with no scientific diagnosis of made up "dislexia" etc. Just attempts to get more, put in less and do as little as possible.

Have you spelled dyslexia wrong on purpose as an attempt at some sort of clever point?

SaltyPig · 29/01/2025 11:48

BobbiJo · 29/01/2025 09:36

I mean I wonder why some people wouldn't discuss their mental health issues when people suggest mental health issues are just a way to get away with stuff.

Almost like some people look down on other people stealth conditions and think,
"I've never had X so therefore X isn't so bad..."

Chronic migraines.
Chronic pain.
Depression.

These are life limiting, and in some cases life ending.
I'd be fucking jubilant if I'd never experienced any of them instead of judging those who suffer daily..

Havent' read replies to your post and whilst i agree those conditions are awful, life limiting (conditions) in the sense that I understand it, and have, are ones that you won't survive.

Fargo79 · 29/01/2025 11:50

Starlight1984 · 29/01/2025 11:20

I am on the Board of a company so yes I guess you could say I'm a manager (slightly senior to Management but let's not split hairs 😉)

We are one of the most relaxed and easy going companies I have ever known. Nobody is expected to work outside of their set hours, we are very flexible on appointments / days off etc. We don't have "targets" or deadlines. It's a casual workplace, lots of benefits and everyone gets on.

But the people I am referring to already have these "conditions" when they come to work for us (as I said in my post, they have to complete a medical questionnaire when they start). So it's absolutely nothing to do with working here.

I would say most workplaces are far more chilled out and flexible now than they ever have been.

My - and many other peoples - grandparents who used to work in the coal mines and in factories for 12-14 hours a day with barely a break would be turning in their graves at the reasons that people being signed off for "stress" these days.

Yeah. This is just more of the same judgemental nonsense. Bonus points for bringing up the grandparents who worked down the mines though 👍

Viviennemary · 29/01/2025 11:52

Goodness knows how those stressed out snowfkakes would have coped during the war. Air raids.Rationing, relatives fighting at the front, threat of invasion. It would have given them something else to think about other than their sorry poor. little selves.

faithbuffy · 29/01/2025 11:52

People don't believe invisible illnesses though
So if I have a UTI or a chest infection or anything like that, I need the doctor asap for emergency antibiotics

I work with more medical conditions and pain than people know about but I get "you're always ill"
Well yeah... not only am I immunocompromised, I'm on a shit ton of medication with a load of health issues! It's not like I'm going to be well is it?

faithbuffy · 29/01/2025 11:53

Also I might say I find WFH easier because of my periods but not go into it
That's because I can have a heat pad, a tens machine and take morphine without having to drive but people just hear "period pain"

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 11:56

Viviennemary · 29/01/2025 11:52

Goodness knows how those stressed out snowfkakes would have coped during the war. Air raids.Rationing, relatives fighting at the front, threat of invasion. It would have given them something else to think about other than their sorry poor. little selves.

They didn't cope during the war they where murdered first because that's what happens when people see a group of people who they see as lesser them then. It's crazy that in 2025 people still think this way

Starlight1984 · 29/01/2025 12:01

Fargo79 · 29/01/2025 11:50

Yeah. This is just more of the same judgemental nonsense. Bonus points for bringing up the grandparents who worked down the mines though 👍

Thank you 😊

Catza · 29/01/2025 12:03

Bumpitybumper · 29/01/2025 11:19

Where is your source that this isn't the case? Mumsnet isn't a forum where every post needs to be properly cited with peer referenced journals. If you disagree with what has been written then put forward evidence to disprove it.

Stop trying to shut down discussion under the guise of ableism.

The burden of proof is on the person who proposed a hypothesis... which is you.

AllPlayedOut · 29/01/2025 12:04

Yes and plenty of people(understandably) didn’t cope. The idea that everyone compliantly and cheerfully went along with blackouts, rationing and other restrictions is a myth. People struggled. People turned to crime, broke laws, struggled and were traumatised. They didn’t all go skipping along cheerily singing Knees Up, Mother Brown while thumbing their noses at the Luftwaffe.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33566789.amp

Their problems were very real(as are many challenges that people face today) and shouldn’t be used as fodder for people’s masturbatory fantasies of WW2 that they like to beat struggling people over the head with.

Mainwaring and Walker

Breaking the law during World War Two - BBC News

Much is made of the Blitz spirit during World War Two but, while most people were mucking in and pulling together, some were using the devastation for criminal gains.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33566789.amp

HowMuchOfYourHeart · 29/01/2025 12:05

People are missing the point.

Of course there are people with diagnosed conditions and nobody is saying those diagnoses aren’t valid.

But more and more we have people saying things like “I suffer from migraines (when they have a headache; “I have the flu” (when they have a cold; “I have undiagnosed ADHD.” Erm if you don’t have a diagnosis then this is an assumption not a fact.

Nobody is allowed to challenge anyone any more. Someone gets on the tube and asks for a seat because they have a disability and no-one moves, and instead of accepting that there really are some truly ignorant people out there, the poster is shouted down because every one of those people must have an invisible disability and how dare you assume otherwise. And while of course there will be people on that train with a disability, the several hundred people absolutely do not have an invisible disability and the majority really are just ignorant.

People use the word “ableism” to shut down any kind of discussion, when actually it’s people with disabilities who need to question why those without seem to feel the need to claim disability status which undermines those who genuinely have issues, because there are now so many that no-one is taken seriously any more.

LazyArsedMagician · 29/01/2025 12:07

I agree with you.

I had a comment deleted from a popular Tiktokers page when she talked about her jittery anxiety while chugging her I think she said 4th or 5th Starbucks coffee of the day, I asked her if maybe reducing her caffeine and sugar intake wouldn't make her feel a bit better?!

I'm sorry for those that feel that people being skeptical is making their life harder - but ignoring or denying that there are a lot of people swinging the lead is also ignoring that those are the people actually making it more difficult for you, not those that roll their eyes on the internet about it!

Bumpitybumper · 29/01/2025 12:09

Catza · 29/01/2025 12:03

The burden of proof is on the person who proposed a hypothesis... which is you.

Firstly, it wasn't actually me who posed the hypotheses! Secondly and more importantly, there is no such thing as a burden of proof on an internet forum. We aren't in a court of law. If we were then the poster I was responding to would be in hot water with their own unsubstantiated claims and accusations.

Lentilweaver · 29/01/2025 12:10

I think hypochondria and serious issues are being confused on this thread because OP chose a very poor example.

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 12:10

HowMuchOfYourHeart · 29/01/2025 12:05

People are missing the point.

Of course there are people with diagnosed conditions and nobody is saying those diagnoses aren’t valid.

But more and more we have people saying things like “I suffer from migraines (when they have a headache; “I have the flu” (when they have a cold; “I have undiagnosed ADHD.” Erm if you don’t have a diagnosis then this is an assumption not a fact.

Nobody is allowed to challenge anyone any more. Someone gets on the tube and asks for a seat because they have a disability and no-one moves, and instead of accepting that there really are some truly ignorant people out there, the poster is shouted down because every one of those people must have an invisible disability and how dare you assume otherwise. And while of course there will be people on that train with a disability, the several hundred people absolutely do not have an invisible disability and the majority really are just ignorant.

People use the word “ableism” to shut down any kind of discussion, when actually it’s people with disabilities who need to question why those without seem to feel the need to claim disability status which undermines those who genuinely have issues, because there are now so many that no-one is taken seriously any more.

Like most people all the conditions i have are diagnosed. What do you mean challenge my diagnosis do you want to see my medical records their 1000s and 1000s of pages spread across 4 trusts in this country alone not counting what has been sent internationally. I'm in multiple case studies do you want me to carry all this round in a suitcase for you

faithbuffy · 29/01/2025 12:10

Viviennemary · 29/01/2025 11:52

Goodness knows how those stressed out snowfkakes would have coped during the war. Air raids.Rationing, relatives fighting at the front, threat of invasion. It would have given them something else to think about other than their sorry poor. little selves.

I mean I can hand over my medical conditions so you can check how you cope?

You'll have to inject yourself with one drug once a week, that'll give you 24hrs of flu symptoms as it's a bone marrow stimulant used while on chemo but I take it for another reason

The other is every 5 weeks and you'll get fatigue and your hair will fall out, it's also high risk for anaphylaxis

Add paracetamol, codeine, morphine, naproxen and thyroxine plus 4 antihistamines a day to that

You'll be exhausted with constant infections, high risk of sepsis and gynae pain that no pain relief controls, probably feel like you're mid stage labour half the month

Oh and you'll work 40hrs a week for min wage while people tell you how much of a snowflake and how lazy you are. Don't forget to book time off for hospital appointments which uses up all your annual leave

gamerchick · 29/01/2025 12:12

I love how people focus on one thing and run with it.

Ive found that there are 2 sets of people in the world when it comes to illness/conditions. They're either the cans or the cants. The cans accept they have limitations and work to find what does work to manage it the best they can and how to get around the obstacle and there's the cant's, who make their illness/conditions their entire personality and write themselves off.

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 12:14

faithbuffy · 29/01/2025 12:10

I mean I can hand over my medical conditions so you can check how you cope?

You'll have to inject yourself with one drug once a week, that'll give you 24hrs of flu symptoms as it's a bone marrow stimulant used while on chemo but I take it for another reason

The other is every 5 weeks and you'll get fatigue and your hair will fall out, it's also high risk for anaphylaxis

Add paracetamol, codeine, morphine, naproxen and thyroxine plus 4 antihistamines a day to that

You'll be exhausted with constant infections, high risk of sepsis and gynae pain that no pain relief controls, probably feel like you're mid stage labour half the month

Oh and you'll work 40hrs a week for min wage while people tell you how much of a snowflake and how lazy you are. Don't forget to book time off for hospital appointments which uses up all your annual leave

Well said this is the reality of what people don't see and then when you've used all your annual leave on hospital appointments you get to do the rest unpaid which when your working a minimum wage job and have to travel 4 hours to a hospital appointment it costs a fortune because you can't drive and you can't trust hospital transport as they have a habit of just not turning up and you miss your appointment so you need to take more time of work unpaid

GoldOrca · 29/01/2025 12:15

HowMuchOfYourHeart · 29/01/2025 12:05

People are missing the point.

Of course there are people with diagnosed conditions and nobody is saying those diagnoses aren’t valid.

But more and more we have people saying things like “I suffer from migraines (when they have a headache; “I have the flu” (when they have a cold; “I have undiagnosed ADHD.” Erm if you don’t have a diagnosis then this is an assumption not a fact.

Nobody is allowed to challenge anyone any more. Someone gets on the tube and asks for a seat because they have a disability and no-one moves, and instead of accepting that there really are some truly ignorant people out there, the poster is shouted down because every one of those people must have an invisible disability and how dare you assume otherwise. And while of course there will be people on that train with a disability, the several hundred people absolutely do not have an invisible disability and the majority really are just ignorant.

People use the word “ableism” to shut down any kind of discussion, when actually it’s people with disabilities who need to question why those without seem to feel the need to claim disability status which undermines those who genuinely have issues, because there are now so many that no-one is taken seriously any more.

But the original post had an article in it about a woman with diagnosed health issues, so how is that missing the point? Also, how do you propose we all find out if someone is faking or not? I'm sure a vanishingly small minority of healthy people (if any) would pretend to have a disability, purely because of how vile disabled people are treated by people who have decided they're faking based on something arbitrary.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 29/01/2025 12:15

Fuck me, another day, another "I've never experienced X/Y/Z/ and have so much resilience I'm a superior human being allowed to make generalisations about "problematic people" and encourage the pitchfork mob to put the boot in" post.

I'm relatively healthy for my age and thank my lucky stars every day for that. Mental health not so great, so I'm "problematic" in some ways I suppose, however I have friends and family with chronic / severe conditions and their struggles with "resilience" pretty much have come about due years of neglect and mismanagement by our failing health service which could have addressed things early but didn't. Grind a person down and then blame them for lack of "resilience" eh?

The word "resilience" makes my teeth itch, frankly. It's bandied about like a weapon. It's becoming shorthand for determining superiority and it's frankly tedious.

And to the poster upthread "profiling" these people by personality or whatever the fuck that's supposed to be, what next? Measuring skulls? I see you.

No doubt we have problems, physical, mental, environmental and economic that are creating a big picture that ain't pretty. But listen to yourselves, those of you pointing at people experiencing lives different and harder than your own. People ask how the Holocaust happened. This thread is a bloody object lesson.

Have my bingo card at hand with "hyperbole" "Godwins law" and my favourite "word salad" if anyone deigns to respond to this rant - also mayonnaise or the dressing of your choice at hand.

This comes to you courtesy of waiting for ineffectual phone calls with health professionals because I'm currently juggling three elderly people with chronic mental and physical health conditions whose management has been so shoddy as to be life threatening for the last year in the case of two of them. And nobody does anything, and it goes on and on and on.

And that is the lived reality for thousands of people. FFS have a little compassion and if you don't know what it's like keep your divisive fever dreams and speculation to yourself.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 29/01/2025 12:15

fanaticalfairy · 29/01/2025 09:04

Oh come on, people are dramatic. They say they "have a migraine" when they have a headache, it "they've got the flu" when they just have a cold.

I'd she had chronic migraines, she wouldn't be able to work whether at home or not.

As for travel sickness... Don't apply for jobs where you are having to travel. Or take medicine.

Edited

As someone who gets migraines, I do get annoyed with people who claim every headache is a migraine.

On the other hand, you're talking bollocks about WFH and migraines.

Migraine triggers for me include lack of sleep, lighting, temperature, smells, food (not what I eat but when I eat).

I can control those very easily at home to prevent migraines happening and work full time.

Fortunately since my employers aren't dicks, I've been working from home full or part time since 2018.

RandomButtons · 29/01/2025 12:16

RaraRachael · 29/01/2025 11:44

@RandomButtons not sure what you mean, but we all went through lockdown too.

Presumably you were older during lockdown and had experienced many years of adulthood where if you had a mild cough you just cracked on with it. “Young people” did t have that life experience behind them. If they were 16 or 18 when the pandemic hit it’s not really very suprising if they flake at the sign of a minor bug. They were ordered by the government to do so in a formative part of their lives. Obviously they need to learn to get over it, but it’s not exactly suprising.

RandomButtons · 29/01/2025 12:18

Lentilweaver · 29/01/2025 12:10

I think hypochondria and serious issues are being confused on this thread because OP chose a very poor example.

Or because the OP is deliberately goady.

TroysMammy · 29/01/2025 12:19

Every cough is a chest infection. The ones who say I have health anxiety don't go to the GP to get help with their mental health issues.