Aibu to hate the way I look

[StrawberryJamx]

Ladies I literally hate the fucking way I look. Always have done it’s just got progressively worse over the years 😔 I wear make up, I straighten my hair and literally nothing helps. I still look ugly. This isn’t a sympathy post at all I’ve been to therapy about it and nothing helps, I spent all of my pregnancies hoping and praying my children didn’t look like me and luckily they don’t. Is there anything I can do (other than a face lift! Or a face transplant) that can help my appearance? I’ve got 3 children and one is a toddler, I don’t really follow makeup that much and I’m not really good at it. I’m more of a plain Jane id say. To make this an Aibu, Aibu to literally hate the way I look?!

I've come to say yabu because you look good!

Who is your celebrity style icon? Maybe then some minor improvements can be made but you've got nothing to hate girl!

I don’t believe it when anyone says this. I mean how can I look good? I look like shit 🫣

I don’t really follow celebs if I’m honest, they make me feel worse cos of how beautiful they all are

If you truly hate your looks, you need professional therapy.

And I mean that.

Please seek help so you don't pass on such insecurity and self-hatred to your children - you want to be present for them, in photos with them, able to enjoy life.

Honestly, not only do you look perfectly normal and fine, you're attractive. I can't see why on earth you think you're ugly. Have you looked around you? The vast majority of people aren't particularly gorgeous. There's more to life than what your (perfectly nice) face looks like. It's a shame the therapy didn't help.

You are not ugly in the slightest OP.

Yes, YABU. You look lovely. Your skin looks nice. Your eyes, in particular, are gorgeous.

Is there anything in particular you don't like?
I don't want to invalidate your feelings but I am sure the majority on here will agree that you look absolutely fine and probably better than 90% of the population (including myself as I sit in front of my laptop this morning with zero makeup and frizzy hair in a pony tail).

You’re being far too harsh on yourself. Work ion your mental health.

This is a mental health issue rather than an appearance issue.

You look completely fine!

Just personal preference, but I don't like straightened hair. It tends to make people's faces look big!

You're pretty! I can totally relate to your post though.

Absolutely. MN should delete. It wont help OP.

Honestly you need help with this. It is a complete delusion. Don't go on through life like this - get some help.

Goodness you’re a beautiful looking woman

I agree. Also, someone will say something derogatory at some point and that will be all the OP can focus on. Would happen on any forum.

Sounds like body dysmorphia. I'd tell a mental health professional see what they say.

You are very pretty. I'd be happy to look like you.

It’s a real feeling and it’s horrible.
Having spent years working around beauty/style I had to evaluate images to use on social media - made me feel awful about myself!
But if this image had crossed my desk I would say….

1. you have really beautiful eyes that are a gorgeous shade, they just jump out of the image.
2. you have such glowing, clear skin.
3. you have a fabulous heart-shaped face.
4. shiny, shiny hair! Perhaps you could experiment a bit just for fun because you are lovely. And I just mean real basics we all try, like having some face-framing highlights, trying a new hair texture by adding some waves. But these are just to add interest or switch things up, not change how you look. One thing that changed things for me was getting my eyebrows done professionally they really frame the face - apart from that I’m a real DIY person! I would not change a thing about you.

Op, the fact you have 3 dc, and one a toddler is exhausting. Most mothers wouldn't even put make up on with all of this on their plate. You look really friendly, and approachable, beautiful big bright eyes. Do you have a dh/bf, if so I hope he is complimenting you. More importantly though confident comes from within, and shines through.

I think the fact you have the confidence to post a picture of yourself shows that deep down you know what you're saying isn't true. Most people who felt the way you're saying wouldn't even look in the mirror. I think it is such a good sign that you've taken a selfie and put it online. Definately have a chat with your gp about some possible CBT. If I saw you, I would never know you felt that way about yourself; you look sociable, and lovely!

Oh and I think you look effortless, natural not overdone eyebrows are back as well; I think they're fine! Not too much makeup, honestly you look great. I don't think you need to change a thing! Your hair imo suits your face shape, it looks good long like you have it.

It is subjective anyway!!

You aren't ugly at all OP, there is nothing wrong with how you look. I know you have already sought therapy, but I'd urge you to have more and try and work on this before it ruins your life completely.

In the meantime, how about trying a new hairstyle? You could try something shorter and style it with a bit of a wave so it looks fuller. I don't think you need to but it's just a suggestion.

Continue with the therapy as there is no actual issue with how you look. I don’t think this thread will help you as no amount of reassurance will make any long term difference to how you feel about yourself. That has to come from you.

Why am I not listening or believing anything you all say like I can’t possibly see how you can all see good things about my appearance because I can’t see one good thing at all. I’ve got boring green eyes, I’ve got long eyelashes actually but that’s that everything else id happily swap. I got told I had body dysmorphia before actually , I did see a therapist but for reasons I had to stop seeing her. I think it’s time to go back before my mental health gets even worse. Thank you for all your kind words though!

I think the issue is in your mind, not on your face. Objectively you are far from ugly.

You aren't ugly. I look naturally awful very pale often have spots and my hair is so thin and flat. I wear hair extensions and get my eyelashes done every 3 weeks and I look so much better espically my hair I feel like it changes your whole face. Maybe try something like that as you do have a pretty face and it may make you feel better. X

I agree that you need help. I'd say that you are, objectively, pretty. Certainly not ugly (and I speak with the voice of experience here, I've got a huge nose (remarked on by strangers, it's that big), no chin, thin hair, small close-together eyes and terrible teeth. Now, THAT'S plain! You have youth on your side too. Please don't ruin your most beautiful years worrying about how you look. In fifty years time you will look back on photos of yourself as you are now and compare how you were with how you are and wonder what you were thinking of.