Too early for a party invitation

[Mannersmattertoo]

Sent 7 weeks before.

It is too far off to RSVP, we have a lot going on. At the same time, I don't want to forget, as I reply even if we cannot make it.
I've never had an invite so early before for a reception party. When is the Mum expecting to be let know by?
The norm is 2-3 weeks before at my dc's school; the longest I've had is 4 weeks. There is no food provided, looks like a room has been hired at a set fee, so it won't be per head.

When to let Mum know by?

Obviously you RSVP straight away and then put it in your diary 🤷‍♀️ the norm here is probably 4-6 weeks notice.

Good grief can't you just message or call the Mum and say you don't know so far in advance and ask her?

RSVP immediately and put it in the diary if you're attending.

We had to send ours out pretty early because of school holidays etc but I've honestly never paid any attention to how long someone sends an invite in advance.

If you know you're free on that date, what's the problem? Sounds like you don't want to commit in case you get a better offer to be honest!

Well if you have a recurring appointment that falls on the day and time of the party then you decide which is more important. If you've nothing already booked for that day then you decide to say yes or no and if it's a yes you honour that even if something else comes up in the meantime.

It's not that hard. Maybe the birthday family are also busy and need to book it so they can actually get the space before it's booked up.

How is it too far off? I don’t get this. Either you have something booked for this date or you don’t. If you don’t, book this in and don’t plan something else that day.

That's far too early! Message the mum and say you don't know if you are free yet but you'll confirm in s few weeks

So you’re basically waiting for a better offer? You say you’ve got a lot on - so if you can’t make it because you have something booked now, RSVP no.

So you're waiting for a better offer? Either say yes and put it in your diary or say no.

Let her know immediately and put it in the diary. Then if something else comes up that you really can't miss, contact her and explain what has happened.

I'm unable to rspv yet, it is too far off. I have another child who is ND, and don't know I will have child care; other things are going on as well. I wouldn't know until closer to the time. It looks like the whole class has been invited. My dc doesn't play with child, and wants to go, but does to every party. I would be in a position 2/3 weeks before, but given Mum has sent it over 7 weeks in advance, I'm guessing she expects an answer soon. It'll have to be a no otherwise, as I don't let people down.

So you like to wait and see if you get better offers?

Either you're free, or you're not. Reply accordingly

Then just decline.

I understand as that far out I wouldn't know if we could have made due to DHs work pattern. I would message, explain the situation and ask when they need to know for.

You're currently free and your child wants to go. So RSVP yes.

If, later down the line, something immovable comes up, you message the mum and explain you can no longer attend. But don't do this the day before or day of the party fgs

If you dont know yet then I would send a message and say that due to other possible commitments you wont know for a few weeks if DC can come and can she please let you know when the latest you can let her know is? Simples.

Why do you need both you and your husband for a party?

Why is it too far off? Sounds sensible to me - she wants her child’s friends to be able to make it to their party.

Therefore you invite earlier when they’re more likely to be free.

It’s terribly rude to wait and see if you get a better offer. Does your son not want to go to parties? I always treat children’s parties as a high priority event - especially so in reception when they’re all getting to know each other.

I agree - only one parent is expected to take them

Because we had two children, and one car.

I have just done this - sent an invitation to my DD’a party for mid March. I’m not expecting RSVPs now and won’t do anything with numbers until nearer the time, it’s just to put it on the radar. So if you’re myDD’s classmate, please don’t stress!

I don't let people down, I only say yes if I am 100% sure I can make it, unless some rare emergency happens.

I always send early.

I booked my son's hall three months in advance and still didn't get the Saturday I wanted, had to have the Sunday instead. Maybe it's just a busy area!

If people wait to reply because they're waiting for a better offer, I'd rather they declined.

@Mannersmattertoo Then just decline. You don't sound fussed about it either way.

@Mannersmattertoo so you clearly know best... why are you asking?