To think I could get sacked?

[Katybbb]

I work from home mainly and have been logging off randomly, turning up late. My marriage ended and all I have done is cry, my ex and I were together for 20 years and I am really struggling since the split. I have been to the doctor and he has given me some antidepressants but I had a meeting with work and they said they didn’t want to go down the disciplinary route. I can’t lose my job and know what I have done is wrong.

It sounds like they are being understanding. You need to get signed off though until you are ready to work properly.

It sounds as though your Employer is being sympathetic, what makes you think you'll be sacked?

Going to the GP and getting antidepressants is a good start, have you been offered counselling too or is this something that you can access through work?

Sorry to hear that OP. Have you explained the situation to your manager? Not saying you have to but wondering whether it would help them to support you through this time

I’m sorry this is happening. Work seem to be understanding, I think you should explain the situation, hope they don’t take further action on your previous behaviour and get signed off by the doctor until you’re better.

I think being signed off work would be useful too OP

Does your workplace have an employee assistance programme you could call? It does sound like they're being sympathetic but maybe getting signed off for a bit would help.

Yes, get your GP to sign you off work for a few weeks. You are unwell so you need to be treated as such. Disciplinary action would not be appropriate or even legal at this stage.

I really cannot afford to be signed off. Will I be paid fully? I have the mortgage/bills to pay.

I am sorry OP for everything you are going through & I echo what the other posters have said for you to talk to your Manager and get signed off by your GP. You are grieving a 20 year old relationship and this is not something that can be processed overnight. You need time & no doubt you also need to have conversations with your ex. Pls look after yourself x

They are being sympathetic but I think they are using other things against me and keep picking out what I am doing wrong so they may use that.

I am usually a really good employee, I have worked there for 6 years and not had a day off sick, been reliable etc. I just can’t think straight at the minute.

If you continue to be late and log off randomly, it will become and issue which they will have no choice but to action.

You are much better off in taking sick leave/see GP etc. If you need it. However, a routine may be good for you under the circumstances.

As a friend of mine said recently "he may have ruined my marriage but he's not ruining my career, health or anything else".

That depends in your sickness policy and the flexibility of your manager to be able to over ride it. You have my deepest sympathies, been there, although it was 10 not 20. For me, I needed to go to work to DO something not stare at the walls, my manager asked me if I was sure, but agreed, and I know he was keeping an eye on my well being. You can't work right now, we're all different. You will get through it, but need to take care of yourself. Your employers do sound nice though. Talk to them.

Take sick leave or could you go into the office? Honestly getting outside, moving around, being around other people listening to the gossip, getting a hug from a work
friend, having a tea round - it might do you heaps of good.

And then you may feel distracted.

Worth a try?

I’d recommend taking time out, whether annual leave or sick. Sick leave may be paid or poss ssp, depends on your company.

I think you need to ask the dr to sign you off

I’m sorry OP. Talk to your doctor about burnout. Get a medical note. Stay off for a few weeks. You can’t just randomly log off and turn up late. Try and keep an open dialogue with work.

If you can't afford to lose your job then you have to take the shorter term financial hit of sick leave to get yourself better

You could perhaps talk about reducing hours for a while rather than full sick - that might see you with more cash but you must get better or you will be up shit creek

You need to check sickness policy. Some pay ssp only, some full or half pay in stages before ssp. Could you take al?

To keep your job I really think you need to be signed off for a while. Discuss this with your manager who is also between a rock and a hard place. Logging on randomly is not going to work - they need the situation resolved and sounds like will work with you to do this. If you cannot afford time off you certainly cannot afford to lose your job which is probably what will happen if you carry on like this.

Sounds like you are not fit for work right now, that's what sick notes are for. Get back to the GP, explain you can't manage work and are at risk of getting sacked so you need to be signed off whilst you get yourself together.

I am not saying this to be harsh, but you need to quickly come to some serious decisions. They are being sympathetic for now, but that cannot last for ever - you cannot continue to draw a full wage and not put in the full effort, so matter how hard things are for you right now. So you either need to go off sick and take some time to recover, or you need to double down and pay attention to your work, be in work when you should be and stop making mistakes. I get it, I really do - it's a horrible thing to be going through. But you can't afford for it to get worse, and losing your job is getting worse.

I agree with others that taking some sick leave is probably best, but if you genuinely can't afford that, then you have to pull yourself together - or at least enough to get through the working day. Once the working day is over is your own time and if you need to cry, throw things, or whatever will help you deal with the emotions, you can do any and all of those things for the rest of the day.

It all depends on your work's sickness policy. Nobody here could possibly know that. All the best.

Have another honest chat with your Manager.

I've been on both ends of this. A marriage breakdown that rocked my world, and a Manager supporting people through it.

Of course there is a point when we have to start pulling ourselves together, but generally the more open you are about the struggles you are having, the better everything will be.

They sound like they are sympathetic, but they'll need openess and honesty from you to keep that. Along with a general, well here's what I'm doing to work on it.

Have a look at your company policy or speak to your Manager or HR, you should be entitled to sick pay. Your GP will sign you off.

I am sure they will have an employee assistance programme who can also support you.

If the sick leave is a no go, do you have holidays that you could put in?