To think I could get sacked?

[Katybbb]

I work from home mainly and have been logging off randomly, turning up late. My marriage ended and all I have done is cry, my ex and I were together for 20 years and I am really struggling since the split. I have been to the doctor and he has given me some antidepressants but I had a meeting with work and they said they didn’t want to go down the disciplinary route. I can’t lose my job and know what I have done is wrong.

You need to check your sickness policy and get a doctors note to be signed off sick. Your other option is take annual leave (paid) or some unpaid leave, even if half days of either

However if you carry on logging off and starting late you will get sacked. Remote working is built on trust and unfortunately due to some who abuse that trust, it is always under scrutiny

If you won’t get full pay then take a mortgage holiday and get signed off. If you don’t take a short term hit now, you will have a long term problem to face when you lose your job.

Speak to HR and see what you are entitled to if you take time off. How much sick leave do you get?

If you can, even using savings, try to get 4-6 weeks off and aim to maybe see a local counsellor in that time.

Keeping your job is clearly important, so you need to go back when you are well enough to be back and have maybe had time to create some new healthy norms, rest etc.

Sick leave. Annual leave. Some unpaid leave. Reduced hours.

Anything really except what you've been doing.

By not working when you should be, you’re getting close to fraud.

GP is a great start.

A couple of things to do:

1. read your sickness policy. Understand what the pay situation is. If you get paid sick leave then look to take some on discussion with your GP.
2. find out if your employer has an employee assistance program. They tend to offer support in these situations.
3. Look for local mental health support. Most areas have something can self refer to.
4. Consider using somr annual leave to cover the time you’re not working if can’t take time off sick. Then you’re not pretending to work when you’re not.

Agree with this. I don't think you've said how long it's been since you separated OP, but it sounds like you're still in the raw early stages, when you're doing nothing but crying, and not eating or sleeping. I remember that panicky feeling of not knowing when or if it would stop. Also, not being able to stop myself bursting into tears when speaking to a client, which added to the feeling that I was incapable of working.

The good news is this intense stage DOES end. In my case, it did a screeching u-turn, when after a couple of weeks ex came to get his stuff and I noticed he'd taken his wedding ring off. My grief turned to fury - an emotion very much more useful to me!! I'd like to think that everyone in this situation has that 'blinding clarity' moment that jolts them out of the pit of despair and brings them back to something like their normal selves.

Anyway this is just to say, if possible please don't burn your bridges with work. Regular income, routine and familiar faces will all help you keep it together while you ease into this new chapter in your life.

Summon up the strength to have an honest conversation with your line manager about how your situation right now is affecting your ability to do the job. You've posted that they've started picking you up on things anyway, so they have noticed. Did they know about your personal circumstances when they talked about "going down the disciplinary route"?

It's hard, but try to see things from their point of view. Personally I wouldn't go in demanding sick leave - I'd make it more about you and the company finding a way forward that you can both agree on. And as with any negotiation, it's good to have an idea of what kind of outcome you want, eg a period of paid/unpaid leave. If you're reasonable, hopefully they will be too. If they're not - you're better off out of there, but preferably at a time of your own choosing!

@SereneCapybara Well this record would be strong grounds against constructive dismissal if they did try to ease you out.

No it wouldn't on all counts. Constructive unfair dismissal is when someone is forced to resign and the OP is not talking about resigning at all. And I am sorry but past record counts for nothing - the OP is not doing their working hours, disappearing off to cry etc. Without wishing to be harsh, if so inclined what has happened so far constitutes a dismissable situation; and possibly, if the employer were so inclined, gross misconduct. They have been understanding it would appear, but be in no doubt that what the OP has been doing is fair grounds for dismissal. She is quite right to be worried about it, which is why she needs to either take some time to recover and sign off sick, or find a coping mechanism for work time.