To think it’s really annoying when ppl make unannounced visits

[empee47]

Particularly on a Sunday afternoon? Husband out, finally got both kids round table to do homework, nipped to loo, relatives came in and sat down and are wanting entertained. I’ve had to drop everything. Oh we won’t stop long - they’ve been here for an hour already 🙈

Yanbu it's so easy to send a msg and I will make time for you if you show up unexpectedly I'm busy. I especially hate it when people turn up while where eating

I think context is key: when I was a student or living in shared houses in my 20s this didn’t bother me because I had loads of time. Now in my 50s with a demanding job and a teenager it is a real nuisance if people do this because it’s disrespectful of my time.

Time is the key to how people feel about this: some people have masses of it, for others it’s the most precious commodity.

If someone were to tip up unannounced at the weekend they would be eating into time that could be spent spent catching up on work or life admin or something I had planned with my DP or DD or just precious time decompressing making me lose an opportunity to do something that I had looked forward to.

Time is incredibly precious to me now, probably more so than money and someone assuming they could just swallow up a few hours of my precious downtime to sit around chewing the fat would deprive me of the opportunity to do something I had planned to do and would seem really entitled and selfish.

I dare say when I retire I will have a lot more time and maybe feel more relaxed. But I do think people who expect a middle aged person with kids and a job to be thrilled by someone just arriving are a bit selfish. It’s obviously going to be a nuisance.

Is an amazing cultural change, isn't it. As recently as the nineties, I would have been quite comfortable with having friends pop in unannounced, and also with letting them know it wasn't a good time on the odd occasiona when it wasn't. I was living in another country then.

So, I'm not sure whether its just not acceptable in England, or whether the advent of mobile phones has changed things. Of course, all my life its been perfectly possible to phone beforehand, but we did it less 30 years ago.

I have every sympathy for your friends parent🧡.
Once someone was at my door, let's just say not someone who looked local, before I even got to the door my sister who lives a 2 min walk away was on the phone asking who was at the door and did I need her to come. Jungle drums in a small village! Also out of 10.houses in my immediate vicinity all have full super quality cctv and ring door bells no privacy 😂

In your circumstances, OP, I would have said something like “Oh, lovely to see you, unfortunately I have to get a whole bunch done before Monday. Do you want to arrange to come back another day or do you want to help me get the washing on?”

I would not have dropped everything to entertain them unless I preferred that to doing whatever I had been going to do.

I’d have been blunter about getting them out of the house if them being there disturbed the DC’s homework, though!

I don't think it's a big deal really but you have to like the company of the person/people 😂

I think the advent of mobile phones making arrangements easier to make and the way life has got a lot busier for families. There are far more expectations on kids nowadays, more clubs, more homework, more arrangements generally. And more families have both parents in full time jobs, so less slack to pick up whatever you’ve dropped because something unexpected happened.

But also, people have more entertainment at home and like their time without guests more - spending time watching movies on a huge screen, or just doom scrolling on their phones.

I would absolutely hate this!

Get them to supervise your children’s homework whilst you get on with other things!

Why not just lock your door? In case the people you're relying on to watch over your unsecured house are doing something else?

I love having unexpected visitors 😃

Keep your doors locked for a start. Then, if it happens and an hour has passed, stand up and say 'nice to see you but I have to get on with things. Next time you should call first as we might have been out'.

I like it, as long as I am up and dressed and it's someone I like of course. But I grew up in a household where people were always just popping round. No one gave people notice, there were no mobile phones then.

Well when you live in HA apparently you have to put up with it according to most on here. Trades turning up with no notice Last year one turned up and had to turn my electric off to fit an isolator with no notice Luckily he turned up about ten minutes before i was to turn the washing machine on

I have found my people 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

In the era of mobile phones and a quick text or WhatsApp, there is absolutely no excuse for an unplanned visit.

If family turn up they are family don't need entertaining know where kettle is once they've had the first cup. When did family become special visitors?

We are fine with friends and family popping round. There was usually an extra or 2 in the house, most days, when the kids were teens.

Family know to bring cake, family and friends know to put the kettle on. We just let them know if we were currently busy or we were out in half an hour etc. Most visits are an hour of tea and cake with added gossip.
The house is never visitor ready, but visitors are welcome anyhow.

Im sure plenty of old and lonely people would be glad of it

It may not have helped in these particular circumstances but I had some "friends" who liked to pop in. "Just a flying visit" was the usual greeting, then stayed bloody ages, often hinting about food.

I learnt to keep a coat by the door and always put in on when I answered the door and said "oh shame, I'm just going out, must dash I'm a bit late". Only had to do it a couple of times and they stopped bothering.

This
👏

It would very much depend who it was. There are visitors who will come for hours just because they are bored and want you to entertain them.

When I was younger I remember weekends being very boring and long. Now they go in a flash. My Sunday afternoons are particularly precious. DD does homework and I do my hobby.

I hate it. My in laws always did it and let themselves in if I ignored the door. When we got a new front door we kept "forgetting" to give them a key.

You need a lock on your door. The stop visitors, and also someone sneaking in and stealing your car keys or something!!

Unbelievably DH has just come in and complained about this. He grew up in a household where family were constantly popping in. However his parents did nothing but sit about so it didn’t matter to them. Broke up the day for them.

Hes just complained this isn’t our life now. I just said the years we went to his home town and had to pop in to see various relatives were incredibly boring for me. Sitting in peoples front rooms with the tv on whilst they chain smoked and having the same conversations over and over.

Fuck that
Nobody is allowed in my house without notice!
Lock your door!