To think it’s really annoying when ppl make unannounced visits

[empee47]

Particularly on a Sunday afternoon? Husband out, finally got both kids round table to do homework, nipped to loo, relatives came in and sat down and are wanting entertained. I’ve had to drop everything. Oh we won’t stop long - they’ve been here for an hour already 🙈

I actually grew up where it was totally normal to have people coming and going without any notice. Front door was usually locked (as it just did when shut) but people knew the back door was always open and they'd come around and let themselves in. I hated it then too, but I am very introverted and need time to prepare myself when I'm going to be seeing anyone.

Hate. It.

Mumsnet isn't a representative sample though is it? My partner's entire family have an open door policy (partly cultural). I love unexpected guests too. I'm often at odds with the status quo on here but what's voiced on Mumsnet doesn't always reflect real life.

I think it's so rude to just turn up round someone's house. I have always made it clear to call me first. Never allowed "drop ins". I would have sent them packing and saying we are busy today.

This is quite funny

https://www.thepoke.com/2025/01/13/how-different-generations-arrive-at-someones-house-hilariously-observed/

I cant stand this , you have to change your whole day sometimes. I wouldn't even dream of doing that to someone, don't know why some people think it's OK. A simple message, hey I was thinking of coming over are you free, is all it takes

Let's hope they aren't the kind of burglars who let themselves into my friend's Mum's (and partner) house. They beat them up, tied them up and then ransacked the house. They lived in a place where people thought it was "safe", too.

The truth is that burglars (and worse) know that people living rurally are less likely to lock their doors and target them accordingly.

In hindsight I would have said "great you can help the DC with their homework whilst I crack on with some cleaning" 🤣

If you don't like it, just tell them. I actually love it when people pop round, but i know I'm in the minority here.

I really don’t feel strongly about this . Friends ,neighbours and family occasionally arrive unexpectedly .If inconvenient I just say I am busy,it really isn’t a drama IRL only in MN world !

I have no issue with unexpected guests but would never leave my door unlocked so anyone could just walk in 😬

YANBU I hate it and find it rude.

I need to be house ready. Also we do quite a lot in terms of clubs, DS does a lot of football and DD does boxing, we are talking training, matches, competitions etc so it’s inconvenient.

Luckily DH is very good at politely telling people it’s not convenient and some other time.

Bit don't you ever settle down to watch a film, or have a bath or read or something and not want to be interrupted? How can you ever relax to do anything like that if you think people might just turn up? My parents occasionally drop by without notice and I'm.polite but they don't get a cuppa or anything. If I'm not actually busy I'm very consciously relaxing so I don't want company.

If she'd have text first l could have said not a good time. You can still say that face to face. And in a way that says "you're a valued friend but we're not available" It's very difficult to put across in a text that it's the timing that is wrong, and not them.

Most people hate this A lot of people don't.

No, door was unlocked Well, that's your mistake. If your relatives can get in while you're out of the room, then so can a sneak thief.

I’ve had to drop everything No you haven't. You've had to pause long enough to say "lovely to see you but the children are doing homework and we can't stop. Make yourself a cup of tea before you go if you like, but I'm afraid I will have to ignore you, and you'll you'll have to drink it in the other room so as not to disturb the children".

How can you ever relax to do anything like that if you think people might just turn up? Easily. You know you're not going to be disturbed because you won't be answering the door and you've put your phones on silent.

I had an uncle who did this when I was growing up. He was a nice enough bloke and never caused any trouble but OMG the unannounced visits were a pain in the arse. He had no partner or kids so would always pop round to see my mum. As a teenager there were times I was home alone with my boyfriend and he’d show up, it was so awkward. I’d invite him in whilst we waited for my mum and as a 16 year old girl I had nothing to talk about with a 60 year old bloke.

I love it too. And it's only friends and my DC who would turn up unannounced, so no need to be "house ready". Or people wanting to return stuff they've borrowed, and then I take it at the door and thank them profusely, or invite them in for a cuppa depending on my mood.

It's lovely to have a social event that's a surprise.

I have an open (ish) door policy

If it's inconvenient, I just say so otherwise - come on in but people are told to take me as you find me. I don't stop what I'm doing or anything.

I think it's so rude to just turn up round someone's house. It's rude if you know they don't like it. It's not rude per se.

Not to do what? Sit in a seat that’s visible from the outside?

I find unannounced phonecalls bad enough, let alone visits! 😅

All my side of the family don't just turn up at each other's houses unannounced, we check first and if we want to drop something off etc we just drop it off and say "I'm not staying/coming in, was just passing and needed to drop this off etc". However, when we first married, MIL and FIL would turn up unannounced any time they felt like it. Sometimes, they even brought other people with them. They always seemed to time it at mealtimes, in the hope they'd all get invited to stay and eat. Manys the time on a Sunday morning they've turned up with friends in tow at lunch time and dh has had to do a mad dash to the local shop for a couple of quiches etc. They then also started turning up every Saturday afternoon, we worked full time all week and Saturday was the only chance we had to go out. In the end dh had to tell them not to call unannounced and not to visit on Saturdays. I later heard from SIL that MIL said anyone visiting us had to make an appointment first!

It all depends, doesn’t it? In summer, sitting in garden with a bottle and the papers, chores and animals done and food sorted - come on in and stay for supper!
Exhausted and anxious about upcoming week, free boobing whilst attempting to get on top of laundry and scrape a meal together - oh God fuck off, please!
A quick message before you descend is basic manners in my book..

I can deal with it but often through gritted teeth and sometimes embarrassment due to the state of myself and/or my house! It irritates me that they think I have nothing to do just like them, so can entertain them for an hour or two no problem. It's an invasion of my safe space and if they texted first to give me time to gather my thoughts and whizz around with the duster and the dustbin I wouldn't mind at all! Forewarned is forearmed.

Yes this is my take on it. I have 3 young kids so tbh I'm quite happy for any family to randomly turn up (almost never do) or call and say can we come round later (still pretty rare). Cos I will make them a brew and get biscuits out, chat for 10 mins (or however long if I'm nap trapped or breastfeeding the youngest) and then crack on with housework and leave them with all the kids to entertain.

(Probably why this doesn't happen to us much!)