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Original poster

For thinking my boyfriend was flirting or being to nice to my bestfriend

64 replies

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:08

been togheter 3 years.
I don’t mind my boyfriend being nice to my friends i don’t want him to be rude to them ofc. But i think it slipped for me last night when me, him and my bestfriend and another friend of mine celebrated my friends bday. At my friends place.
My friends and bestfriend know my bf trough me.
Anyways. My bestfriend is suuuuper pretty and 101% my guy friends fall for her, i don’t blame them and they give her lots of attention and she is used to it she is not the girl that want a relationship lol. Shes tall, slim, shy, blonde hair and have a very pretty face. But tought my boyfriend would be different. I may be wrong. But i got very mad and uncomfy by him giving small touches at her knees and randoms time when we where hanging at my boyfriends place, and my friend being touchy and getting closer while talking to him at the bar. I think she was drunker than she normaly gets. But i also reacted a bit at the end when we went to my boyfriends place bcs the bus was late (her bus). Then those two where getting really comfy and my boyfriend didn’t Even ask if i wanted to take follow with them to take her to the buss stop afterwards.. she didnt even said anything to me either.. not even a bye or if i wanted to join like wtf.. i never seen her that comfy around my bf before im not sure if i overeacted, but me and him ended up in a small fight after that.. where i told him he was being a bit to touchy with her and he denied.. and was telling me i was being over dramatic.. but i so what i so! I would never be touchy with his friends! Never! nor my friend if she had a bf! I find that disrespectful! Drunk or not! It felt like he was focusing more on her than including me on their conversation.. he calmed down after wards and he said he feelt like an ass for making me feel that way. He said he tought he was being a nice host.. That he was very sorry.. espesially when i asked him if he would like that if i did it to his friends what he was doing to my friend.. idk.. should i talk to my friend to? I think for now the best is to keep distance between them. I don’t think its my bfs job to protect my friend or at least include me! I told him. Like yea ya all can talk but do ya really need to touch each other to do that?! Don’t think so! I know if my mom was there she would 100% told me to drop bothXD

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/01/2025 08:15

What?

ColinOfficeTrolley · 26/01/2025 08:26

He didn't throw wine up the wall did he? Was there a wasp about anywhere?

nellythe · 26/01/2025 08:29

So he touched her knee whilst talking? Depending on the context it’s very hard to say. If I’m honest, your post is nigh on impossible to read.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:34

@nellythe i tried my best. English is not my first language.

OP posts:
Pyjamatimenow · 26/01/2025 08:35

How old are you op?

WhoisRebecca · 26/01/2025 08:37

I found the post perfectly understandable. I wouldn’t be at all happy with this and would ditch the friend and the boyfriend. There’s no reason to be touching someone else and their behaviour was odd.

Waterboatlass · 26/01/2025 08:40

So your boyfriend was touching your friend's knee, then they were later excluding you for the conversation? He then minimised your response? That's not ok, there are very few reasons why your boyfriend would need to touch your friend's knee and you don't mention any I'd accept. So that was unreasonable. Excluding you from the conversation was rude. I don't know how you reacted exactly but you were not wrong to object to this.

How old are you ? Do you live together? Is this the first occasion he has behaved like this? I agree I wouldn't particularly be encouraging them to socialise but the point is that you want a partner who you can trust to be with anyone. Not one you have to keep separate from your pretty friends.

This would be grounds for ending the relationship, no doubt about it. However how do you feel compared to the rest of your time together?

ThatCoralShark · 26/01/2025 08:41

I also found it perfectly understandable, please ignore the rude responses.

yes, it sounds like they were drunk and flirting, it does also sound like you’re all very young,

you can’t keep your boyfriend faithful by keeping him away from attractive women. I’m assuming you don’t wish to dump him. So maybe keep an eye.

however he’d be gone for me. As would my friend,

ioveelephants · 26/01/2025 08:43

This reply has been deleted

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SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 26/01/2025 08:45

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:34

@nellythe i tried my best. English is not my first language.

Your post was clear to me and hopefully others.
Do you believe your boyfriend is really sorry and will stop being like that with your best friend?

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:45

@Waterboatlass the sad thing is that we have a such nice relationship! Never had one like this but made me feel like shit. I never been treated like a thirdweel by my own boyfriend before.. i don’t blame him that its nice to make my friends comfy and included! Thats good! But touching? That a bit to much for me. I think my friend also had a bit to much..

@WhoisRebecca
And you right :( i would never do this to them either.., like i can talk to my other friends partner but touching? Yea no

OP posts:
Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:46

@ioveelephants

Even elephants are nicer than u..

OP posts:
sunshine237 · 26/01/2025 08:46

WhoisRebecca · 26/01/2025 08:37

I found the post perfectly understandable. I wouldn’t be at all happy with this and would ditch the friend and the boyfriend. There’s no reason to be touching someone else and their behaviour was odd.

Agreed.

Winterskyfall · 26/01/2025 08:48

I would find it very strange if a boyfriend touched one of my friends more than once in a night. A single pat on the shoulder fair enough, anything more would be off to me.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:52

@ThatCoralShark thanks. Rude comments are just sad people with no emphaty.

but i do very agree! I shouldn’t be afraid to have him meet pretty women.. i do expect him to act like my boyfriend around pretty girls without me and with me there..
i never tought my friend would be like this. Now both of them litteraly gave me the ick😭

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 26/01/2025 08:52

You do sound rather jealous of your friend, it’s not her fault she’s quite pretty.

He touched her knee when chatting .. I mean that’s a bit if a “so what” to me, as you don’t probably any context. Is this something he normally does with other people ?

A relationship can’t survive if you don’t have any trust. If you think your partner is going to cheat with the first pretty girl that comes his way, what’s the point in the relationship ?

Whole thing sounds immature and dramatic.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/01/2025 08:55

She doesn't sound jealous of the friend at all, just realistic about her attractiveness.

What was the thing with the bus OP?

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:55

@ExtraOnions i dont think he cheat. But i still find it uncomfortable of him. Yea a pat on the shoulder or goodbye hug sure but multiple times knee touching erhm.. and she leaning in closer, where she was also kinda excluding me and talking to him idk. He dosen’t do it with guy friends 🤣

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 26/01/2025 08:58

Your English is great, anyone with a second language or more should be respected for it not sneered at by idiots.
And yes, you sound absolutely right, everything you've described is not ok from either of them. Sorry OP

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 09:01

@Barrenfieldoffucks thanks im just honest about her being very pretty and charming so it dosn’t suprise me when guys try to protect her or try make her laugh or whatever.

oh we where chilling at my boyfriend’s place since my friend didn’t reached the bus at time.
so they suddenly where sitting there and dhe realised the bus was on its way and my bf just said he come along. He didnt even said anything to me nor my friend when they where putting on jackets and shows, i was at the kitchen a bit to prep snacks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 09:06

@Sux2buthen thanks :)
i tought i just wanted to see if i was overeacting a bit but my boyfriend has never been this nice to her before.
my bf can be very charming to, so guess.. i just felt kinda like thirdwheel.. because idk he tryna make her feel comfy idk

OP posts:
JMSA · 26/01/2025 09:09

I wouldn't be happy with this situation, OP. Trust your instinct.

Berlinlover · 26/01/2025 09:12

@ioveelephants There’s really no need to quote the entire post.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 09:16

I know i can’t keep my bf away from attractive people its not that.
but i think after my bf years of hanging with my friend group and suddenly just being me him my «best friend» and my other friend and my bf doing stuff togheter they growed more comforatble to each other. No wrong in that, but touching for me is unessesary or him tryna act like her bf idk. I think imma have one more talk with him that next time i expect him to be less nicer. I don’t mean he should be rude to her ofc not! But like try keep It cool. I know my other friends partners would never even dare, they treat me like my friends friend. They nice and cool with me but thats it. It was almost like my boyfriend was feeling to good about himself with my friend giggling and brurshin it off with him.

OP posts:
modernshmodern · 26/01/2025 09:29

Ask her if he crossed a line.

Tell him you have no issue with him chatting to your friends but not if it excludes you.