To not know how to get to bed before 10pm

[Getkettleon]

I need more sleep, but I just can't seem to be in bed asleep early, ever!
By the time the kids are in bed, I've had my tea, sorted work and school stuff for the morning, done the dishwasher etc etc and had a shower, it barely leaves me any time to decompress, it's pretty much 10pm already, and I scroll or fanny about and end up getting to bed late. Then I'm knackered in the morning, tired all day but I can't seem to break the habit of still getting to bed late!
I have quite a stressful job and strong willed children so the days are often tough, and
I'm definitely a night owl so later nights are a bit ingrained, but I REALLY need a good bedtime routine.

So... Tell me your bedtime routine please!
What do you do before bed? What makes you sleepy? How do you decompress when the evenings are short? How do you break from the scrolling?

I genuinely think I have a problem - as you can see it's midnight so hopefully some early bedtimers will be along in the morning with advice 🤣

IABU - FFS just put the phone down and go to bed
IANBU - it's fucking hard and you need some nice mumsnetters to help you form a decent bedtime routine

Here in sympathy, I fuck about on my phone and subsequently miss my sleep window.

No practical advice beyond perhaps setting an alarm but I suspect I just need to get a grip

I normally go to bed at 10 every night, then lie there reading my kindle until 1am so I'm no-one to comment! But I do have 4dc and have figured out my boring life.

When you getting home? How olds the dc?

Have tea with the kids, clean as you cook, prep for the next day before you sit down as you're tidying up from walking in the front door.

Generally home between 5-6pm, kids are 3 and 5 so are in bed by 7.30. I only work 4 days but on my day "off" (school runs and 3yr old all day) I always get to bed much later and I think it's because I feel like I don't have to be up as early... But then I forget the kids are ALWAYS up early and regret it at 6am.

Stay up fucking about till whenever you like and build in a lunchtime nap?

I do feel like I get no time to myself until about 10pm, and really what else can you do at this time of night? Although I do scroll whilst in the bath.

I can't get to sleep any earlier anyway. Midnight at best.

If you could sleep earlier make sure you do all the nighttime routine early on. I hate removing make up and brushing my teeth so I keep putting off bedtime because I dont want to do it. So if you can get ready for bed as early as possible it's one less hurdle to overcome.

Life really improves once the kids sleep until the heavenly hour of 7am.

How old are your kids, what time do you get up, and do you ever WFH?

Reason why I ask:

• depending on kids' ages, they may be able to help. They can get their own stuff ready for school, help stack dishwasher etc. Can't you eat with the kids rather than having your tea later? I know this is a big shift in mindset (I'm used to a later tea time too) but if your aim is to go to bed earlier, you won't be up later feeling hungry. Hopefully!
• shower in the morning if you can; it seems to take up less space that way around, in my opinion! If you get a nice mousse or air dry cream/gel or work out an easy updo, you won't need to blow dry etc. What stuff do you need to get ready for work? If it's clothes, develop a no-iron wardrobe, it's a lifesaver! Wash everything at weekend. If food, could you buy premade sandwiches/salads in your weekly shop?
• if you WFH, try incorporating 5- minute tasks every 2 hours. I clean the toilets at 10am, do a quick tidy/toy pick up at 12pm, hoover at 2pm, clean kitchen surfaces at 4pm.

Sorry, cross posted, I've just seen you've answered some of those questions 🙂

I try to eat before the kids go to bed as much as possible. I'm not a naturally clean as you go person, though I do try very very hard to be I always find a trail of destruction behind me 🤣 I have worked on this a bit and it is better. With the kids there it's hard to do anything other than get their food or many suppertime snacks sorted, then begin the bedtime routine! If it's bath night then it's carnage. There's also so little time with them before bed that I feel guilty doing jobs. It's a hard one!

I think midnight is OK to go to bed. If you went to sleep at 10pm you would probably still feel tired the next day and think you need more sleep. Some of us are just like that.

Don't drink tea at night, it is a stimulant. Coffee is more so of course but tea isn't a good idea.

Try to have the odd day or evening to yourself if you can. That is something to look forward to and helps you refresh, especially when you have children. I realise that is not always easy but if you can do it, it does pay off.

Good luck.

Shower in the mornings, eat with the kids and aim to be finished with any jobs by 8pm, 8.30 at latest then at 9.30 start heading to bed. I find that it often takes half an hour once I’ve gone up before I’m ready for bed. Often I get ready for bed - teeth, skincare etc then watch tv in bed so everything is done and I can just switch off at 10.

I'm the same, but my kids are older, so instead of the bedtime routine it's running them to and from activities. Not normally all home and eating till 7:30ish. Then clean up, packed lunches, washing, walk the dog..I'm doing well if I'm in bed before 11 and I KNOW i need more sleep.

This is me

Thanks - we are usually up about 6.30, I start work at 8am. I can hybrid work so yes possible to WFH sometimes but not for full days at a time - more that I can start and finish from home (I drive between locations for work).

My eldest can probably help out a lot, I already tend to lay clothes out for the week. I could definitely do better meal planning particularly for quick easy meals at teatime.

I mean for eating with them! It's mostly a time issue because I don't have time to cook us all something usually before their bedtimes. They get meals in their childcare settings so they have mainly suppery snacks before bed. I could definitely do some quick pasta or have something prepared to heat up though. Just planning it and prepping it! X

You don't need to plan, just don't sit down!

Walk through the door, shoes, coats and bags put in the same place every day, kids settled in front of the TV for 20 minutes decompress with a snack, you to the kitchen to prep dinner, washing up as you go, all to the table for dinner, kids to the living room for playtime while you load the dishwasher, kids do their homework supervised as you wait for the bath to run, throw them in for a wash, PJ's and bed with a story.

Just don't sit down.

This is called Revenge Sleep Procrastination.

Google it and find a method that works for you,

I am the same, and I am procrastinating finding a method that works!

You don’t mention a partner/husband. Do you have another adult in your life to give you a share of evenings off during the week?

I'm with you! I don't know where you stand on convenience foods but if the sleep issue is really getting to you, then you could always just say sack it and get yourself some ready meals! If the kids are ok with picky bits, beans on toast etc then you could have yours at the same time. My DH works long hours and is often in and out quick for a business he runs, he has the Gym Kitchen meals about twice a week. They don't seem too bad in terms of health etc. I've heard people talk about Charlie Bigham meals too. You could mix it up between those and the premade salads as I said, or just having toasties etc with the kids! Or buy component parts - e.g. ready made mash, chipolata sausages (quicker to cook!), bit of veg (frozen bags, cook in microwave). You could use chat gpt - tell it what foods you like/don't like, what equipment you've got (air fryer, slow cooker etc), time limits and budget etc and have it make a meal plan for you!

My bedtine had crept later and later - always well after midnight and sometimes approaching 2am. The only way I sorted this was to do it step by step. So try aiming for 11.45pm rather than midnight and once this becomes routine, go for 11.30pm. Continue until you achieve an earlier time that works for you. I never got to 10pm but am now regularly settled in bed by 10.45, short read and asleep by 11.

Should add tonight is different - am in A&E with an elderly relative who had a fall getting into bed and has fractured her arm!

I'm the same. The annoying thing for me is that I can actually fall asleep easily whenever I go to bed, the problem is actually getting off my arse (and my phone) and actually going to bed!
Should be simple right??

I was wondering the same.

I'm a night owl and often go to bed late, 12 or later! I often take a 20 mins nap at lunchtime.
It's because I want to extend my own personal time and I need time to think.

Me too.