Friend in jail

[RandomUser1000]

Hi, a friend of mine was sentenced to 3 years in last week. 6 figure fraud. Knew nothing until I found out afterwards. He took me out to dinner the previous week and something was off at the time - understand why now.

I don't understand it. There's no reason for it. Not in need of money - no debt, no addictions, no mental health issues, no stress. It seems so pointless and crazy but he is guilty.

I cannot understand why. Only motive I can think of is greed or arrogance but that's not him. I know him since we were 5.

I know only he knows but any theories?

Oh wow. Can you tell us more

For the money.. obviously

I know someone who went to prison for Fraud very well .In his case, it was greed, arrogance and entitlement that led him to do it.
If you don't need the money, what other reasons are there?

What a shock for you!
Some people just do it because they can and they think they can get away with it.

We don’t really truly know anyone’s darkest secrets apart from our own.
You can’t possibly be 100% sure he had no debt or addictions etc.
Are you going to contact him in jail to offer him any support or to ask him why?

Everyone's got a little bit of greed. He probably saw an opportunity for money and convinced himself he needed/ deserved it more than whoever he took it from. I also think people choose to present themselves a certain way (and differently to different people/ in different scenarios) so you usually don't know them as well as you think you do.

@RandomUser1000 of course he wouldnt have any debt!!! he has been stealing money by the hundreds of thousands of pounds!!

Same reason people shoplift probably: for the thrill and to see if they can get away with it. Realistically, you also don’t know he didn’t have any addictions. I’m a recovering addict and absolutely everyone but Dh would be fall over on the floor shocked to hear that.

Greed or some financial black hole (gambling, drugs, whatever) - I would ask him. I wouldn't drop the friendship, although I would no longer consider him trustworthy.

No debt. Is that because he was defrauding the company (or other companies ) long term?

Maybe he liked the thrill ? Or it was a bit of uponeship on the company or system? Or he saw an opportunity for a quick buck, which possibly spun out of control.

How do you know they weren't in debt. My dsis is up to her eyes in debt despite having a good job drives a posh car constantly doing up her house and going on holiday nobody knows or believes me that dm has been bailing her out for years she has 3 mortgages on her house loans etc now dm is older dsis has poa after having me removed she's helping herself to dm money now the savings have run she has just done a an equity release mortgage on dm house had her change her will she lies to everyone how she is funding her lifestyle
Yes opg ss are investigating

I know people have secrets - clearly he did!

I don't want you say too much but definitely no money problems. He repaid everything when caught and his family have found a bank statement which confirms this and shows he could have paid it multiple times over. He is wealthy from inheritance.

I'm terms of addiction, again no signs and nothing in bank statement re gambling or cash withdrawals. I'm know there are probably other accounts evening he dud have a addiction, he could afford one for a lot longer than now.

He has told them he doesn't know why, deserves jail and doesn't want visitors. His siblings are confused as I am.

I had a very dear friend who worked for local government. He believed that system was loaded against people living in poverty, so fiddled the books to advantage them. He didn’t get any personal gain at all, just a sense that he was rebalancing an injustice. He was done for six-figure fraud (pleaded guilty) and spent several years in prison.

Greed and insecurity I would think, is he a bit of a flash Harry type?

self sabotage

Gambling addiction? Being blackmailed by someone? Otherwise just greed! 🤷‍♀️

Could he have seen it as playing a game
Obviously he lost

The thrill of doing something he shouldn't. He didn't need the money, he just needed the adrenaline rush of doing something wrong.

Not flash at all. @Coldanddamp and @k1233 possibly. In a lot of ways, while his life is lovely, nice house, good family, friends etc, it is a little bland but I thought he was happy with it. He's never been comfortable with inheriting so much so perhaps it is self sabotage. There's also very few risks or excitement in his life. He is also permanently single which I put down to shyness. Maybe more going on there than I initially considered.

I feel sorry for him even thought he deserves to be in jail.

My former Aunt used to steal something every time she went shopping, it wasn't for the lack of money either. Just felt she had to do it...

I think that’s more common than you would think

I have a former friend who openly took pride in committing expense fraud at his former company. Except he wasn’t taking an ideological stance against some greedy corporate giant; it was a small, family-run business with tight margins. He really thought he was oh so clever outsmarting them, and liked taking friends out to dinner and saying “don’t worry, this one’s on me.”

He’d completely fabricated his CV to get the job in the first place (I don’t mean slightly exaggerating his experience, I mean making up years and years of fake employment history knowing the firm didn’t have the resources for a full background check).

He’s been fired from three jobs in a row - yes, three - for integrity-related reasons (thankfully including the one where he was committing expense fraud).

In his case it was definitely arrogance, greed, and wanting to look richer than he was, but I think it ran deeper than that. He was quite bitter and felt life owed him more; maybe the fraud was his way of saying, you might be the one running the company but you’re clearly not all that clever if I can steal from you. Very insecure man who was desperate to feel better than others, and I guess this was the only way he could do it.

You may find out why in due course, perhaps he didn't act alone, maybe it became a habit. Whatever, he is now paying the price and is hardly likely to do it again when released. He's your friend, if he's always been OK with you, carry on being his friend. Nobody has died.

Three years is a big sentence for what you describe. My former boss did some serious defrauding and still landed a suspended sentence. Has he offended before and are there some serious victim consequences at play here?

Because he got away with it, and it snowballed? The thrill.