Friend in jail

[RandomUser1000]

Hi, a friend of mine was sentenced to 3 years in last week. 6 figure fraud. Knew nothing until I found out afterwards. He took me out to dinner the previous week and something was off at the time - understand why now.

I don't understand it. There's no reason for it. Not in need of money - no debt, no addictions, no mental health issues, no stress. It seems so pointless and crazy but he is guilty.

I cannot understand why. Only motive I can think of is greed or arrogance but that's not him. I know him since we were 5.

I know only he knows but any theories?

Perhaps he felt something was missing from his life and the fraud filled the gap - like the main character in The Thomas Crown Affair

Sometimes people do things just because they can.

He won't serve anywhere near 3 years, he will probably be home before Christmas on tag.

If he is a good friend, then try to pause the wondering. Write to him, but hold off on mentioning the offence or his motivations for doing it. He's obviously done wrong, but is going to be going through a very rough time adjusting to prison. In time perhaps he will soften on the 'no visitors' stance.

Greed. Because he thought it was to easy to do and he wouldn't get caught.

Doesn't seem like he needed the money.

I'd say thrill seeking, lack of impulse control, feeling they are 'achieving' something, maybe depression or anxiety and this mitigated it.

I watched a TV programmes years ago set in New York where they got a cop to pretend to a homeless man fast asleep with a bunch of notes sticking out of his pocket.

They then arrested everyone who was walked past and stole the money!

Some of people caught were not poor, the exact opposite but they still took the money.

It all came down to opportunity rather than a need for the money.

If you want to continue the friendship when he comes out then you need to talk to your friend and ask him his reasons why.

@stillalittlehurt are his initials KL-W?

Why would you come fishing months after this thread died?

Fraud is very easy to fall into it's just a bit of moving money to avoid tax at the start ... That's why everyone has accountants but Depends what he did but doesn't make him/her a bad person necessarily. Obviously If he defrauded pensioners etc then he's a scum bag but there are many different levels and there is a fine line between tax evasion and tax avoidance for example

Dopamine seeking.

I would think loneliness, self esteem, and pure boredom could all be factors.
How awful for him and his family that he would throw his life away so needlessly.

Wouldn’t you like to know

It’s an immutable rule of life that regardless of how much money you’ve got, you always want more. It might just be plain, straight up greed.

Might it be the thrill / challenge of doing it and (trying) to get away with it?

Greed.

People will commit all sorts of fraud, theft and betrayal if they think they can get away with it.

You don't have to 'need' money to want more of it. Lottery winners still play the lottery, rich people still want to avoid paying tax and make more money.

How did you find out what the charge was? Did he have previous convictions on file?

of course, I ask these questions but you can’t answer them…. There will be more on file you don’t know about

Stealing can be addictive. It does sound like there was something missing in his life big time and this was a warped way to deal with that, given he was easily able to pay it back.

Anyway, the best thing you can do in stay in touch with him. He won’t be in all that long and will need friends when he’s out.

I know someone who did this. Was on a six figure salary already and stole hundreds of thousands from the company they worked for. It was pure greed and arrogance. They destroyed a lot of lives along the way.

I would have thought it was just a casual question.

It's always such a shock stuff like this.

Years ago I worked for a high street bank. I was very young, 19/20. Split up with my boyfriend and was living alone, had a lecture and a financial management plan imposed on me which involved justifying what cash I withdrew and the branch manager used to check my bank account weekly 🙄. And always lecturing me about managing my money properly. Even questioned why I wasn't paying council tax by DD. I'd paid it in full from a bonus.

6 months later emergency staff meeting and she had been arrested for fraud against the bank. They proved 100k but suspected much more. Lived at home with her parents so no need really, parents affluent etc. She did a year in prison for it.

I was fucking fuming 😤