Giving up cats

[Miserablehome]

I have come to the end of my tether with cats and I need to rehome them. I have asthma which never was a problem before in the past but I've recently adopted these cats and it has triggered my asthma. I have another long term health condition as well as I am likely to need hospital care. I'm not coping.

DC will be devastated but I can't cope. AIBU for wanting to rehome the cats? How can I let DC know that this may be for the best. Currently can't sleep as I've been cleaning the litter trays and its brought on my asthma.

You should never get pets for kids, because they are ultimately your responsibility, so it’s up to you what happens to them. So don’t feel bad, cats are very independent by nature, and will be fine. More so than a dog IMO.

Thank you @DustyLee123

I know it's my responsibility wholly and as much as I don't want to traumatise DC by taking them away my health is suffering.

60% people clicked YABU but only one person has bothered leaving a response. Quite harsh. Obviously the cats welfare is more important than a mum's who is run ragged and difficult health issues.

It is better to give them back to the rescue and let them find a forever home than to let them ruin your health and happiness.

How old is your DC?
Are they old enough to understand that you have asthma and that it's triggered by the cats? If that's the case, I would just be very honest about it.

Yes, they will be upset and angry about it, but time is a great healer.

You need to take care of yourself in order to care for others (DC).

Are they house cats? Could they not be outside cats with access to one room downstairs but if not it’s kinder to return them to the rescue.

Have you tried things like air purifiers to help?

I'm so sorry this sounds devastating.

Just explain to DC the cats are making you unwell. It really is as simple as that... It's not good for you, and not good for the cats if you keep them either (you'll not interact with them enough, and you'll probably change the litter less than you really should).

Are your children old enough to take over things like feeding and changing the litter trays?

I voted YABU because you shouldn't have adopted animals without being able to give them a suitable long term home. It doesn't sound like your circumstances have changed, just that you didn't think it through. Poor animals have just settled in and are about to be uprooted again.

Are DC old enough to take on cleaning the litter trays? Look at dust free litter, self cleaning litter trays etc. If you absolutely must rehome then do so through a rescue who will home check etc.

How long have you had the cats? If you adopted them from a decent rescue they should take them back. I'm surprised you adopted them though, given your health issues.

What have you tried for the asthma?

The cats will need to go back to the rescue. If the children are old enough to be responsible for the care then they will have more activities and in a few years they may be moving out. You would then have a settled cat that has to be rehomed.

Asthma is deadly. Those who are sitting in judgement and voting YABU would rather you leave your children motherless? FGS.

I am a cat lover and can't imagine rehoming my cats but if I developed asthma which could kill if not under control then I would rehome them as I would rather be around for my children.

Explain your health issues OP, kids will get over it.

@fatloss not necessarily. I took my cat with me when I moved out.

I think people are voting YABU because the asthma isn't new - OP adopted the cats knowing she was asthmatic and now wants to get rid of them because they trigger her asthma.

If you have tried everything and your asthma is still bad then of course rehoming is the right thing to do.

Having said that - just incase it helps in any way- I have severe asthma and a cat and I find certain cat litters really trigger my asthma more than others so make sure you’ve tried a few different ones. Some are much more dusty than others. I can only use Catsan non clumping as this is the only one that doesn’t make a cloud of dust - I also line the tray with litter liners (from Amazon) basically like a bin bag so you just grab the tie handles on this and pull and the whole thing seals up and comes out of the tray. Yes it’s more expensive doing it this way but makes life bearable from an asthma perspective.

Also - get a really good pet Hoover, wash bedding etc at 60 degrees regularly and brush your cat a lot, it gets rid of star hairs which can be awful for asthma. If you’ve tried all these things already fair enough but thought I’d share.

(I’m on Seretide 250 and have other complex health needs).

Not unreasonable to return the cats to wherever you adopted them from (rescue centre?). Unreasonable to have not thought the consequences through before getting them, given the excuses you're now giving to justify your decision (asthma, another long term health condition requiring hospital care, being run ragged). You were daft to get them. Poor DC, poor cats, poor rescue, not so much poor you.

Musicalfrog true but can OP take the risk? Great if they find a good landlord or buy a property, but could be travelling or going to Uni hall of residence.

Please, please don't let people talk you into ruining your health. Cats can be terrible for asthma and it's not as simple as popping antihistamines to stop thar. Rehome them via a reputable service, ideally the place you got them from. Sooner the better.

So she made a mistake. Is she really supposed to sacrifice her health? She's proposing to rehome not pts - cats rehome themselves all the time, they're not noted for their devotion to their owners, it's far more about them having a home where they are comfortable.

I should have clarified that the asthma diagnosis is new since having the cats. I last previously had asthma as a child and have had cats in my earlier days. Other health condition has been diagnosed since the investigations for asthma.

Some of the responses are very harsh here. I hope those being so unsympathetic never have to face such difficult choices and stay in superb health.

@Porcuporpoise well no, of course not.

But I don't think this was a "mistake". You don't forget you have asthma

X-post - apparently it's a new diagnosis which does change things.

@pigeonqueen gives good advice.

Please try everything first OP, before making your final decision.

It is a new diagnosis yes. After 40 years of not having asthma diagnosis on my GP record. Sorry if my drip feed brought out your spikey side.