Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you ever make changes to your home without consulting DH?

28 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 06/05/2008 17:04

I have just done and now wonder if that was a bit mean of me. He is away and I have gotten a bit carried away.

He really likes the open plan sparse look but I really don't and it has proved impractical.

So I now have a lovely new squashy armchair and have papered our chimney breast and put up lots more pictures. I've bought loads of cushions too and a new rug for our bedroom.

I'm now worried he will come home and complain ,but I am sooo happy with the results.

OP posts:
Flum · 06/05/2008 17:06

Yes all the time. DH either doesn't notice or says thats nice. He really isn't interested on a practical level, he is vaguely interested at a planning/strategy level.

He would not care to be consulted on colour schemes and stuff though.

Ripeberry · 06/05/2008 17:07

Its your home too! I think whoever spends more time at home should have first say on what is done in the house...within reason of course .

cyteen · 06/05/2008 17:07

No, but only because I'm too lazy. If I was going to do anything I'd discuss it with him first.

I like the sound of your armchair though

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 06/05/2008 17:09

He was very fussy when we first moved in, it's all oak floors and as little clutter as possible but I hate that, plus it makes mess/dirt so much more obvious.
Things feel so much more homely now.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 06/05/2008 17:12

Well, I do. But that's because DH would prefer that I do it myself than ask him to choose between "four pots of exactly the same shade of white"

francagoestohollywood · 06/05/2008 17:12

Actually, I'd love to get dh involved and share with him enthusiastic trips to antique shops/ikea/whatever... but the fact is that whenever we go he kind of blanks.

Basically he'd preferred if I changed things without him having to bother.........

francagoestohollywood · 06/05/2008 17:13

prefer

TheFallenMadonna · 06/05/2008 17:13

Ah. Franca - snap!

francagoestohollywood · 06/05/2008 17:14

!!!

bergentulip · 06/05/2008 17:15

My DH comes home almost on a weekly basis to find something different.

So, yes.

Flum · 06/05/2008 17:16

|Yeah I would love it if my DH were interested yet let me decide. As it is DH and I have never been shoppin g for house stuff togehter.

Ikea - I love it, but he would never darken there doors. Why shop when there is sport to be played and watched! is his motto.

lanismum · 06/05/2008 18:25

Yep, all the time, this week I have decided to take up all the grass from the garden and attempt to lay paving slabs, not one of my better ideas!

motherhoodrocks · 06/05/2008 18:30

Yes all the time, the only part he plays is paying for the changes.

pagwatch · 06/05/2008 18:32

We are currently working on the house and i enjoy it whilst DH has the attention span of a gnat.
So we have agreed things in principal and we have agreed a broad budget but I am choosing in accoradance with both our tastes.
The only part where I insist he participate is with anything that is structural.
So i want to replace the fireplace in the tv room and want to replace the wooden floor in the hall with stone and i want him to absoloutely agree before I do anything .
Not only is it because these items are expensive but also they couldn't be changed again easily so he has to love them too.
But I am probably lucky too as we have been together 20 years so I know what his tastes are really.

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 06/05/2008 21:20

My dh is sooooo not interested and if I took him anywhere to help choose 'home' stuff he would pick the first thing he saw just to get out of the shop!

Hence why I am going to decorate our bedroon without any input from him. He probably won't notice anyway! Even though it is having a major redecorate and furnish!

silvercrown · 07/05/2008 16:00

yes but then I also apply for crddit in his name without telling him until after anyway.

BroccoliSpears · 07/05/2008 16:08

I could move the staircase, paper the kitchen in fuschia pink and convert the loft and he wouldn't notice.

AbbeyA · 07/05/2008 16:09

I have to discuss it first because we don't like the same thing so it is always compromise.

Bink · 07/05/2008 16:14

I have opposite situation: dh is forever appearing with new pictures - planning different coloured walls - revising furniture layout. I'm very happy with it, but we work on openly-understood basis that he is the inspired one & pretty much always gets it right. So it's a deal, with no chance of anyone getting a shock. (Also he would revise if I thought it truly wasn't practical - which is the only objection I ever have.)

noddyholder · 07/05/2008 16:17

Oh yes my dp has come home to whole walls knocked down

madame · 07/05/2008 16:20

no because it's his home as much as mine and I wouldn't be happy if he did it to me.

beaniesteve · 07/05/2008 16:42

What Madame said!
I wouldn't, in a shared home, make any major changes without checking with my OH first. Certainly wouldn't get rid of things without checking with him first.

Tortington · 07/05/2008 16:45

no cos its dh's home too.

i can't expect him to pull his weight if he feels like all that stuff is girly

BEAUTlFUL · 07/05/2008 16:57

I have to, because my DH gets all girly about it if I don't. Argh.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/05/2008 17:01

Wel, of course it's DH's home too. But he really, really would rather I did it.

And he chooses my car. Because I don't care about that.