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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this rude?

56 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 21/01/2025 17:19

I have therapy and a car broke down en route to the appointment.

I texted my therapist and said “hi there is a broken down vehicle. ETA is 17:30” she said “that’s nearly 30 mins late! Message me when you’re here” so u said “yes I’m aware, hence why I’m letting you know now so it doesn’t impact you or other clients. I left at 4 pm and ufortunately I can’t move through the traffic any faster then I currently am”

she then phoned me getting uppity saying it’s abrupt and her time is precious etc. I said well I can’t really text and drive so I think you’ve misinterpreted it.

thoughts?? Was I rude?

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 21/01/2025 17:20

Typo! I meant so I said

OP posts:
Han86 · 21/01/2025 17:20

Why would it impact other clients? If you were late then you would miss your session.

Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 21/01/2025 17:23

Han86 · 21/01/2025 17:20

Why would it impact other clients? If you were late then you would miss your session.

There is a tolerance period she normally gives if she’s quiet.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 21/01/2025 17:23

It wouldn’t impact other clients, you would just get a shorter appointment, maybe that is what she thought was rude, an assumption that you would still have your full hour because you mentioned other clients (even if that isn’t what you meant?) I think your message was a bit short - I probably would have put: “Really sorry, there’s a broken down car which is holding up my journey. If I am lucky I will make it by 5:30pm for the last half hour, or would it be better to reschedule?”

purpleme12 · 21/01/2025 17:24

Well I think she was correct in her description of abrupt yes

HenDoNot · 21/01/2025 17:25

If you're arriving half an hour late then you've missed your appointment.

So it wouldn't impact other clients anyway.

The way you worded it kind of sounded like you expected her to push each of her other clients due in after you, back by half an hour, and still accommodate you.

Dueanamechange2025 · 21/01/2025 17:26

Starting any sentence with 'yes, I am aware' is rude.

biscuitsandbooks · 21/01/2025 17:27

I think you were a bit abrupt, but not rude as such.

username299 · 21/01/2025 17:29

Yes you were rude.

Marine30 · 21/01/2025 17:30

Your time was a bit rude yes. Traffic not your fault but if knew I was running late for an appointment for whatever reason the word sorry would have featured in my text.

LostMyLanyard · 21/01/2025 17:30

Very rude! I can't actually believe that you don't know this!

LIZS · 21/01/2025 17:31

Could you have called or were there clients before you? Your message was abrupt.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 21/01/2025 17:32

Is this something that happened before today (assuming so, as you couldn’t post and drive at the same time)? How did the therapist react when you eventually got there?

Ponderingwindow · 21/01/2025 17:33

No you were not rude.

you were in traffic and sent a brief message to let her know you would be late. That is courteous.

A longer message might not have been safe for you to send from the vehicle .

her response was rude

Cherrysherbet · 21/01/2025 17:34

I would have worded it…. I’m really sorry, I’m going to be late. Stuck in traffic due to broken down vehicle. Hope that’s ok

You did sound a bit rude

Notimeforaname · 21/01/2025 17:34

Yes your message was rude. You could have adressed her by her name and said sorry first.

HenDoNot · 21/01/2025 17:35

A longer message might not have been safe for you to send from the vehicle

And yet the OP managed to send a much longer second message, with the word "sorry" featuring in neither message.

Greyish2025 · 21/01/2025 17:36

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 21/01/2025 17:19

I have therapy and a car broke down en route to the appointment.

I texted my therapist and said “hi there is a broken down vehicle. ETA is 17:30” she said “that’s nearly 30 mins late! Message me when you’re here” so u said “yes I’m aware, hence why I’m letting you know now so it doesn’t impact you or other clients. I left at 4 pm and ufortunately I can’t move through the traffic any faster then I currently am”

she then phoned me getting uppity saying it’s abrupt and her time is precious etc. I said well I can’t really text and drive so I think you’ve misinterpreted it.

thoughts?? Was I rude?

I would have apologised and asked whether I should still go seeing as your ETA was 30 mins late
Your response to her message should have been a simple ‘thanks, I will’
Yes, I think you were rude but seeing as you can’t see that I presume you are in the habit of being so

Clanson · 21/01/2025 17:37

I think it's missing a "sorry". I know there's nothing you can do about traffic and you needed to keep it short, but in britain I think a sorry would be more usual.

CurlewKate · 21/01/2025 17:37

Yes- rude. It's usual to apologise for lateness.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 21/01/2025 17:37

You spoke to her quite rudely. 'I am aware' was rude, and talking about 'impact on other clients' was a bit odd or possibly entitled, because she obviously wouldn't start another client's session late just because you were late. Since she is sometimes able to go over the allocated time you might have said 'Is it possible to go over a bit, please?'
Anyway, it's all good stuff to talk about in the session. Hopefully you got enough time with her to make it worthwhile.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 21/01/2025 17:37

You might have been a bit abrupt, but I think the therapist’s response was also a bit rude.

JC03745 · 21/01/2025 17:38

'Apologies therapist, I'm stuck in traffic due to a broken down car ahead. I think my ETA will be 30mins. I hope I can still see you for the remainder of my session time, if that is ok?'

fairycakes1234 · 21/01/2025 17:39

Sorry, agree it's rude and you got her back up

Zippidydoodah · 21/01/2025 17:41

Yes, very rude. You could have just said “yes, I know. I’m really sorry, but there’s not much I can do about it right now”.