Going crazy after being ghosted

Brigitte33 · 21/01/2025 13:13

Tell him he needs to explain himself immediately it's very unfair to make you wait.

ChristmasPostman · 21/01/2025 13:16

His explanation will be bogus and self recusing so I wouldn’t be wasting my time waiting for it if I were you. There is no magical explanation for blocking someone that restores your opinion of him to what it was before. You believed in something that was fake and reality striking is bewildering. You are normal to feel like this as you believed in the relationship “being on the same page and having legs”. He never did. Whatever guff he gives you now cannot hide the huge flapping red flags. Block, move on, heal and learn.

Original poster

Yesnocrazy · 21/01/2025 13:19

I think I’m more annoyed at myself for behaving the way I am it’s not normal. There’s no point messaging and asking him to ring now as he won’t but I just have no idea what’s going on. I just do not understand at all

OP posts:

lifeisforlaying · 21/01/2025 13:20

I've been there and the truth is that this sort of thing never has a good outcome. Unless there is a genuine and believable response I'd just forget about him. It's most likely he's 'changed his mind' for no good reason as a lot of men are wont to do and doesn't have the emotional intelligence or guts to tell you properly. Thank your lucky stars that it was only 3 months and he hasn't strung you along for longer x

Crankyaboutfood · 21/01/2025 13:20

sounds like a version of log bombing if so much so soon. clearly there is something wrong with him. i was married 16 years and husband walked out and has no contact with his kids. you can’t explain these things except some people are cruel or defective and can hurt others without remorse. cut your losses, assume he is a sicko, and block him. this really is him not you so really try not to overthink it. I am so sorry.

MathsMum3 · 21/01/2025 13:21

Does this behaviour suprise you? In other words, from what you know of him so far, can you imagine him ghosting you like this? If not, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and wait for him to contact you - maybe he really does have a phone issue, or a work/friend/family problem, which is making contact difficult. But don't contact him again. If he's decent and honest, he'll be in touch, but if not, you're better off without him.

SpreadYourWingsAndFly · 21/01/2025 13:23

Yesnocrazy · 21/01/2025 13:09

I’ve been seeing someone for 3 months was going so well didn’t love bomb me but we kept saying we was on the same page and could see it going somewhere, we saw eachother a lot 4/5 times a week then at weekend he blocked my number but not any social media told me Sunday he was going to ring me tomorrow (Monday) and his phone was broken this was before I realised I was blocked from calling and texting. Monday came I realised I was blocked and messaged him on social media saying I was confused as to why I’m blocked and what’s going on no reply at all and rejected my calls on WhatsApp and again this morning however he has now messaged and said I’ll call you tonight sorry and explain properly. But I’m losing my mind and I’m so annoyed I’m behaving this way I haven’t eaten in three days and I’m barely sleeping wtf is wrong with me! I can’t snap out of it. I don’t believe he will ring me tonight and I’m so anxious I need to know what’s going on
but why am I acting this way I’m looking crazy crying all the time!

I am going through the same thing just now, except the person I was seeing for roughly a year. He has ghosted me and does not answer any calls or text messages, and I have been left in a kind of limbo not knowing what is happening. The only thing you can do is to try not to message or call and tell yourself every time you reach for that phone to not do it. It is hard and I am struggling myself, but I am getting there day by day.

Curtainqueen · 21/01/2025 13:25

This is the problem with ghosting. You never get the closure you need. The only way around it is to give yourself closure by finding acceptance that it’s finished and not to hold on to the hope he might suddenly make contact. Decide that you deserve better than this man and get back on with dating again. Give yourself closure and move on.

CalicoPusscat · 21/01/2025 13:26

It hurts but if he's unreliable it's best you find out now after only 3 months.

Have a little cry and go to your true friends.

Onelifeonly · 21/01/2025 13:26

Tell yourself he's not who you thought he was - could have reconnected with an ex, be married or scared of commitment, who knows. If he wanted to explain honestly, he would have already done so. It's really hard but time will help you heal.

ForRealCat · 21/01/2025 13:26

My guess would be his wife has told him he wants to try again.

Personally I wouldnt give him any sense of satisfaction that you are hurt. Just tell him "I don't need a phone call, we weren't that serious. You should've just dropped me a text so I knew to make other plans and didnt just think your phone was broken"

Thelnebriati · 21/01/2025 13:27

YANBU to be upset about this, but you need to change the way you think about what happened. to reduce the risk of being hoovered into a bad situation. Remind yourself that normal, healthy relationships don't go like this only bad ones do, and you don't need anything from people who treat you this way. You don't need drama, you don't need an explanation.

MoneySpell · 21/01/2025 13:29

That's pretty pathetic of him, but please try not to waste your energy on being upset about it. I know that's easier said than done.

Trousername · 21/01/2025 13:31

The only possible excuse for this would be something really major like a death in the family. Otherwise it's just plain cowardice not to explain anything to you and block you. If he's a coward, you've dodged a bullet, good riddance.

GoldOrca · 21/01/2025 13:35

Way too much drama. Block him and walk away!

ladyofshertonabbas · 21/01/2025 13:41

I think you'll have to come to terms with not knowing the full details and concentrate on getting over a heartbreak. Crying at a counsellor helped me. (I only saw the poor woman once. It really helped though.) Go easy on yourself, a lot of people have been driven internally crazy by break ups.

Stressedoutmum6274 · 21/01/2025 13:50

Theres someone else

Strawberryfruitcorner · 21/01/2025 13:57

I would say a bit fat thank you to him for showing you who he is after 3 months so you don’t have to waste anymore of your precious time on him.

People are cruel and weird and you can’t rely on all of them, but you CAN rely on yourself, you are amazing and wonderful and you don’t need him, keep believing in yourself as someone who the right person will be lucky to have. Fuck him.

Original poster

Yesnocrazy · 21/01/2025 14:38

Thank you all, his behaviour has really shocked me I’ve known him since 2015 and this is not who I thought he was. He’s been dead set against cheating from the word go so if that’s what he’s done I’ll be really shocked. However I doubt he will ever ring me it’s just the whole not blocking me on social media like even now I’m not blocked and when I’ve rang him on FB he’s ignored it but not blocked me if I didn’t wanna speak to someone again that’s what I would do I’m so confused it’s a massive head fu*k

OP posts:

Twaddlepip · 21/01/2025 15:00

The truth will be he’s been seeing you and someone else, and he prefers them.

It’s shit. But hold your dignity, block him and don’t contact him again.

Brigitte33 · 21/01/2025 15:04

I'm sorry to say that I think the only reasonable explanation for this is that there's another person involved here and he can't face up to coming clean and explaining himself. You've dodged a bullet.
Try to feel happy about that part.
Don't read into the fact he hasn't blocked you elsewhere. He simply isn't that clever / didn't spend the time to do that.
If a family member had died he wouldn't immediately block you. That's no excuse.
Move on. And if you ever find out who the other woman is ..... maybe drop her a message & save her from wasting her time too.

crumpet · 21/01/2025 15:12

He’s a twat for behaving in this way. The exact reasons as to why he’s a twat are not actually relevant, and won’t change the fact that he is what he is.

Try not to waste any more of your time. What’s the point of knowing when all the answers lead to the same result!

CharSiu · 21/01/2025 15:17

What you actually need to do is block him, you are allowing him to mess with your head. You can only control yourself in this situation and not him.

Under these circumstances I would be delighted he had shown what a complete cunt he is so quickly. Imagine if this was after a year or two.

Try and be more head over heart.

BlueRobins · 21/01/2025 15:26

ive had similar and im still puzzled, a work colleague, built the foundations of a friendship, had similar interest's hobbies etc, talking for about 3/4 of the year then ghosted, no reason just messaged have a good weekend, as i figured i trim the texts down to one a week, but then blocked, ive kept the option open of them chatting if they want to but nothing so far

ItGhoul · 21/01/2025 16:02

Well, obviously the relationship is over. I appreciate you'd like to know why, but ultimately it won't make any difference, in the sense that the relationship will still be over.

You need to stop trying to contact him. He doesn't want to talk to you, clearly, and you do need to respect that unfortunately. In your situation, rather than sitting there frantic hoping he'll call you or unblock you, I would block him back and move on. He's behaved badly and he's not worth your time or worry. This incident, at least, confirms that he isn't right for you. You deserve someone who is capable of difficult conversations, which this man apparently isn't.

Of course nobody here can say why he's suddenly done this but there could be a million reasons. He might have had another girlfriend, or been on a break from someone who wanted to get back with him, or he might have suddenly met someone else, or just suddenly got the sense that he's made a mistake. Three months is a very short relationship and it's possible that what he genuinely thought he wanted at the start turned out not to be what he wanted at all. We just don't know. But you do need to let this go, tough though it may be, and have some dignity.