If there’s a sickness bug going around your child’s class…

[NewYearStillFat]

And they’re complaining of a tummy ache/feeling sick, AIBU to say you should keep them at home?

Depends on the child.

Mine would say it just to get a day off school. We've had several instances of 'I don't feel well' when his friends have been off, and he has been 100% fine and not come down with anything. Prime example - yesterday complained he didn't feel well and had a headache (like me at the weekend)....was fine all day at school (as per the teacher) then as soon as it was homework time back to feeling ill. Miraculously he is fine today as he has a playdate after school!

I wouldn't keep him home unless he was actually sick - temperature or D&V.

Ridiculous. Kids say that to get out of things. Honestly you have lots of time on your hands if you can keep them home at the drop of a hat. For most of us it’s hard enough when they’re actually ill

Are they actually unwell, temperature or throwing up? Or just complaining of feeling a bit sick?

You make a judgement call. Sometimes you are wrong and they shake it off and are perfectly perky by 9am and you regret not sending them. Then another time you do and have to go fetch them as gotten worse over the day.

The class have literally been going down like flies with projectile vomiting and diarrhoea. I don’t have loads of time on my hands. I’m a working parent too. But shoving a child through the door who’s complaining about being ill seems pretty pointless to me. Do you have to see some actual vomit to think your child is too unwell to attend?

I don’t know re a temp, but he’s coughing, looks unwell and says he feels sick and has a tummy ache. He went in the class before my child. The whole class has had severe D&V. Parent said “Just to let you know he says he feels sick and has tummy ache, he’s been coughing too… Bye!” Teacher grimaced.

To be fair my children have never faked illness. They are only 3 and 5. In fact mine are more likely to battle on when they’re ill and I get a call when they’ve already been sick. So if they told me they felt unwell and looked unwell I’d keep them home, I always say to mine if you need to come home tell a teacher! I remember going to collect one of mine and he had a raging temp that had gone unnoticed and had Covid.

Depends on the school as well. Ours are really strict on attendance and expect the children in unless they have been sick.

You can also understand why not all parents can take the day off work 'just in case' but need to wait until they have no choice.

I always make the wrong choice. I've kept children off who have turned out to be fine and sent children in who have puked an hour earlier. I've one child who goes green the minute anyone else is poorly but rarely throws up and another who looks the picture of health even when ill who would happily spew behind a bush and carry on with the school day as if nothing had happened given a chance.

No. I keep them off if they are actually sick or have a temperature. Otherwise my eldest would never have been in school.
A child can look ill in the morning but be better by lunchtime. I would have done the same in the parents shoes.

haha lucky you! I'm not sure where my DS learnt it. He started it probably year 1 and now my DD who is 3 this week copies him. My DD I've put down to being nervous about moving to the pre school room so the feeling sick thing is actually the butterfly feeling nervous feeling.

If they looked unwell I would consider more if to send them in. Like pale and not themselves (e.g. not eating breakfast etc). I think as a parent you can tell if they are sick or not. But you can't judge a child that isn't your own.

Also our school attendance policy is sickness is only if you are sick. Temp or D&V or is he going to see the doctor. If I called and just said he didn't feel well, I'd be asked to send him in or its unauthorised.

I’m really surprised. If my child looked and felt unwell and in the context of a nasty bug going round I’d keep him home.

It would depend but I certainly wouldn't always wait for them to actually be sick.

A sickness bug going round, and they look pale, don't eat breakfast, say they feel sick, then yes, I'd probably keep them off

Thats my thoughts. Theres lots of illnesses that make you feel unwell but not actually sick. I would go more by their behaviour and appearance. If mine want to stay in bed, sit on the sofa or don’t eat I know they’re not well.

Also our school attendance policy is sickness is only if you are sick. Temp or D&V or is he going to see the doctor. If I called and just said he didn't feel well, I'd be asked to send him in or its unauthorised.

That sounds quite strict - I don’t even know what the attendance policy is at our school but I would still judge by whether I thought they’d benefit from being at home. I think my son had 3 days off last year so it’s not like he’s off much.

Tbh selfishly, I think they are likely spreading the bug around more and keeping the cycle going.

This isn't even as strict as some I know of through friends! Some need proof they have a seen or going to see a doctor before it is authorised (our just ask)

I do agree with it a bit. If I am keeping my child off the should really see a doctor/pharmacist if they are unwell enough to be off of school if they don't have D&V or a temp. Like if I was unwell enough to be off work I would either have some interaction with the pharmacist for doctor if it wasn't D&V or temperature related

It works though as the school doesn't really have sickness bugs going around and my DS hasn't had a day off since reception for a temperature.

He's more likely to stay off with a cold than a sickness bug. DS is very much a throw up then continue his day kind of kid but a sniffle and he wants to stay in bed.

Our house you have to have actual symptoms if it's just under the weather take some calpol and off you go. He would get something tasty to sneak in as a school snack.

Hmm not sure about that - lots of viral things can’t be treated anyway. I don’t take them straight to a doctor or pharmacist. But I appreciate what you’re saying.

Our school has said unless they actually have d&v they have to go in, and if they’re off more than 4 days they need a doctors note.

You'll end up one of the parents with a child with persistent absence then.

Children often don't distinguish well between actually feeling nauseous, and feelings such as a bit of a flutter tummy due to being a bit nervous or excited.

Children will also say things like 'my tummy hurts' when often it's things like a bit of a stronger urge to poo, because they ate lots of fruit for eg, or even just that they are hungry!!

Kids work out pretty quickly that saying they feel poorly gives them a day on the sofa watching telly and not having to do maths.

If they were otherwise fine in themselves, they’d more than likely go in. Lots of kids have ‘tummy aches’ before school. Can be nerves, needing a poo, or just wanting to be off, or like their friends/siblings.

Children need to build up a healthy immune system and exposure to the normal cycle of childhood coughs colds, sick bugs is part of that.

Ever wonder why adults rarely catch some of the quick 24 hour sick bugs that do the rounds of the kids? It's because they already had them plenty as a child so built up some immunity.

You'll find also that once kids get a little older they catch less and less. A kid through up in the middle of the classroom in my kids school, all the kids close by. You'd think the whole lot would have caught it but nope, only 1 or 2 did.

I can distinguish between a child that looks and feels unwell and a child that needs a poo. My son had 3 days off last academic year I hardly think it’s indicative of an issue.

In the situation you described then I would have kept the child at home be a they actually were unwell just not actually vomiting (yet...).
If they were completely fine in themselves and eating normally but said their tummy hurt I would probably send to school.

Based on school attendance policy and time off work I'd most likely send them in unless actual D&V or a temperature. As it's (quite rightly) a 48h school exclusion for D&V I can't really be adding pre-emptive time off work to that every time.

What, so despite all these selfish parents sending in their unwell kids your child wasn't constantly ill and ending up off school?