Annoyed with DH over holiday!

[Dish19]

DH and I have booked a holiday in summer with DSIL and her family. We’ve paid a deposit etc. We have DCs 4 and 9 months.

Yesterday DH came home from work and straightaway started telling me he doesn’t think he can have those dates off work now as too many people are off. I (obviously?) got annoyed as he agreed the dates so I presumed as an adult he would have checked. He then got angry at me, saying he only wanted a discussion over it and not an argument?

There’s a chance I could fly out with DSIL and DCs alone although I don’t really want to do this it would be better than losing the whole trip. I asked DH, seeing as he wants to ‘discuss’ it, to check with his manager first to try and get the time off. Now he’s dragging his heels saying he needs to wait for the right time to ask. In the meantime DSIL and family are booking flights and I really want to know sooner rather than later so I can book the same flight and so they can help out!

AIBU here?

This!

I too am wondering why he's being so difficult about this, I do hope it's not going to be a case of him begging off the holiday, supposedly because he left it too late to book time off, and then you come back to find that he's actually left you and moved in with someone else, or has been off with another woman for a holiday while you've been away with the kids.

Well wouldn't that be convenient for him?

No, nothing about this scenario is your fault. It's all on him.And resolving it? Also all on him.

Maybe that's what he's hoping for

We both work? And DH agreed these dates. Hes had access to all the information from the beginning.

so he’ll probably end up using his on a hobby trip

Convenient

OP has he sorted anything yet?

it’s a Saturday- ask is today when he wants to sit down and make a plan how you are going to deal with the holiday situation because he can’t keep ignoring it and hopes it goes away. He has to tell you what his plan is. When is he going to tell his sister?

Exactly. Is this what he wanted all along? A quiet time at home while you and the children are away then two weeks on his own for his hobby holiday ?

This!

It sounds very much like it

I bet he think he’s being terribly clever as well & that you’d never realise that was his plan

Call his bluff tell him your going to pay the rest of the holiday but you'll be staying at home with him as it was ment to be a family trip there's no point in going without him. See what he does everyone is entitled to holidays in all jobs. This just sounds strange to me why he hasn't put them in.

Quickest way to handle this…

Book the flights for you and DC and tell him he needs to sort the dates with work and his own flight, not that it’s an issue though as if he can’t sort it, that’ll give him two weeks to take in the school holidays to spend with his children!

No way would I be having him use it for going away to enjoy himself because he’ll think ‘ohh, that was a great result’ even if he didn’t plan it that way and then it’ll set a precedent.

if he doesn’t come make sure he takes those 2 weeks as time with the children so you can work or enjoy yourself!!!!

What job does he do? Worst case could he work from home at the villa? Your kids are very small though which that much more tricky.