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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to hang on to a credit card, even though I have no intention of using it?

34 replies

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 09:58

Morning ladies

I have a fairly checkered financial past and have had huge debts, which are now almost entirely paid off through a combination of my graft, help from my parents and a whacking payment from DH. My last shred of debt is just under a thousand pounds on a credit card, which will be paid off before I go on maternity leave in July - which might sound bad, but since it was around £3000-4000 from three cards combined, I think I've done fairly well to reduce it.

I want to hang on to the credit card once it's paid off and once I go on leave, even though I have no intention of using it (I have no desire to get into debt again!). I think it's a useful thing to have for emergencies and that some places (particularly in the States) only take credit cards.

DH thinks I am being unreasonable and should either cut it up or give it to him to look after. He says that if I need money then I can just ask him and makes the reasonable point that he has more cash in his savings account than I have available on the credit card anyway. He is challenging me to come up with an emergency where I might need the card - to which I say that if I could anticipate it then I probably wouldn't need the card anyway! I just feel safer having it.

Partly I resent the suggestions that I can't be trusted with it or that I'm still racking up debt, neither of which I think are true. I think we're also both adjusting to the fact that I will be financially dependent on him once I go on maternity leave (and I know he is worried about how we're going to cope with the loss of my salary).

RW x

OP posts:

Oliveoil · 06/05/2008 10:02

I would want to keep the card as I would resent anyone telling me what to do tbh, but dh knows this

can you reduce the credit limit on it to a low amount, say £500 or something?

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 10:03

Ha ha - yeah, that's probably partly it!

Reducing the limit is a good idea - though DH won't even let us have an overdraft facility on our joint account (again with no intention of using it, just as a buffer - he's never been in debt and hates credit).

OP posts:

copingvquietly · 06/05/2008 10:05

just hide it!

sagitta · 06/05/2008 10:06

To be honest, I only use my credit card for the internet, and have never needed it for an emergency. But CCs are really good in that purchases with a CC are insured, so it's better to use them for some things, if you pay it off monthly. Why not get a CC in his name, so he gets the bill and can pay it off for you?

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 10:08

copingvquietly - I'd rather not be lying to him, particularly about financial stuff. We're still in the honeymoon period here I am kind of hoping he just forgets we had the conversation about it though ...

sagitta - I'm pretty sure he'd never ever agree to a card in his name - he really, really hates credit! Good point about the insurance though.

OP posts:

Oliveoil · 06/05/2008 10:09

we have an overdraft facility and never use it, it came with the account and started off at £100, is now £1000, bank keep increasing it (as well as sending us loan offers every week )

so tell him you can have the facility and not use it

same with a cc

they are very useful

do you have a joint account? as tbh, I would resent HUGELY having to ask for money on maternity leave

I can understand your dh's point of view re worrying about debt, but I can also see that having to ask to buy moisturiser (for eg) would stick in my throat and cause a row of massive proportions

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 10:16

We do have a joint account. At the moment we both pay the same amount into it each month, which we spend on food, going out, and other joint stuff, and the rest of our salaries is our own. I am not entirely sure how it's going to work once I go on leave but I'm confident we'll work something out. It's funny that, after years of wishing I had some man just to pay all my bills, now that it's about to happen, I'm a bit ambivalent about being dependent

OP posts:

chunkychips · 06/05/2008 10:17

Reducing the limit is the best idea. I can see his point of view, but it's very annoying to be treated like a child. Were you reckless in your spending or was it just a debt that slowly got out of control and was it a joint debt? If you can really trust yourself with it then you're an adult and should be able to have a credit card. Trouble is when other people help you out with stuff like that, they sometimes feel they have a say. Is he usually controlling, or is he just genuinely worried?

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 10:23

It was a combination of things really - I was a bit extravagant as a student with my first degree (lots of meals out etc) but I was 18 and had just been given a lot of credit and was sure I'd find a great job once I graduated From there it just spiralled out of control - combination of lots of low-paid jobs and more periods of studentdom plus struggling with debt repayments/living costs. Still makes me feel sick to think about it - so easy to get into and so hard to get out of It was just my debt - long before I met DH - he's never been in debt.

He isn't controlling at all, just worried We're moving when I go on leave, so will be without income at all for a while, and I know he is worrying about how we'll cope.

OP posts:

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 10:24

PS I'm nearly 32 now!

OP posts:

Greyriverside · 06/05/2008 10:45

Everyone needs a credit card nowadays and that will be more true in the future.

I can understand the concern. That is sensible enough and I've been in debt myself so I know what it's like. I don't use mine for borrowing at all. Just as a convenient means of payment which I put back right away. Sometimes even before the bill comes in

NotDoingTheHousework · 06/05/2008 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Lovesdogsandcats · 06/05/2008 11:00

I was driving 250 miles when my exhaust fell off on a motorway. Had it not been for me using my credit card to pay for a new exhaust at Kwik-Fit I really dunno what would have happened.

alittleone2 · 06/05/2008 11:14

Message withdrawn

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 11:37

Thanks for the replies

I think the final sentence of alittleone2's post says it all for me really - I am just going to tell him that I'm an adult and capable of behaving myself and making my own decisions (with MN's help, obviously ) and I'll willingly cut it up if I can't behave but for the moment I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt!

OP posts:

alittleone2 · 06/05/2008 11:41

Message withdrawn

GooseyLoosey · 06/05/2008 11:42

I think I would keep it but I would put it somewhere hard to get at (eg in a box in the loft). I would want it as years ago my grandfather was dying in another country and we found out late at night on a weekend. The only way to pay for flights (as nowhere was open the next day) was with a credit card and my parents had to find someone to lend them one.

fortyplus · 06/05/2008 11:46

It's not a fair argument to say that you need a card as it's the only way to pay. You can't tell me that a debit card wouldn't be accepted in exactly the same places. What you really mean is that the credit card is giving you access to extra spending power. I think you're maybe not taking full account of the fact that your dh is probably feeling very nervous about being the sole breadwinner for a while.

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 11:56

Some places do only take credit cards - not so much in this country though. Last year a group of friends needed to make a booking for a hen party and they would only accept credit cards. I suspect our foreign travel is about to be curtailed quite comprehensively, but often places abroad will only accept credit cards - it isn't a completely fictional argument.

I don't have the card for extra spending power. I have it because it's a 0% interest on transfer card, so I transferred my other cards on to it, cut them up, and am paying off this final bit of debt. It gets used extremely rarely and then only at the end of the month so any spending on it is paid off a couple of days later - but this really is rare and only for a couple of quid (train tickets to work etc).

OP posts:

fortyplus · 06/05/2008 12:02

I've never known anywhere that says 'credit cards only' that wouldn't be just as happy to take a debit card - in fact probably happier as the payment is just as secure and they don't have to pay a % of your purchase to a credit card co.

You are just making excuses

barnical · 06/05/2008 12:04

After an awful time with Xdh and credit cards ( long story but your debts don't look that bad!! )
I cut up my credit card as he totally put me off the things, scared the life out of me!

But I do have a pre paid card.. I put money on and it is for emergenies only.
But it allows me to have a visa / master card when needed without having to pay it off.. or thinking.. ohhh i like that I'll bung it on the card! LOL
Before this in situtations where I needed a card and didn't have one.. I asked my mum... and ran the cash round to her!

milliec · 06/05/2008 12:59

Message withdrawn

Original poster

RainyWednesday · 06/05/2008 13:59

fortyplus - unless you are DH trying to wind me up into cutting it in half, you don't know me, so we'll have to agree to disagree

milliec - I brought up the scenario of DH being in a coma and me needing money and he said that, as we were married, I would be able to access his accounts and said he would give me his PIN.

OP posts:

fortyplus · 06/05/2008 14:09

I'm just teasing

Really it just depends whether you are 100% sure that you can trust yourself as for the time being it would have to be dh who would bail you out. Imagine how smug and sanctimonious he's be! Now that is a price not worth paying in my book!

fortyplus · 06/05/2008 14:12

Actually - re: your dh dying... not a happy thought, but here's the reality...

If you have a joint bank account you would still be able to access it.

Any credit card would be immediately frozen as the credit agreement can only be in one person's name, even if there are 2 cards on the account. I know this because it happened to my mum.

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