Page 3 | Pushed DS out of bed

Bahhumbug25 · 2025-01-20T19:23:08+00:00

Hi DS7 was struggling to get out of bed this morning, as per usual. I wasn’t there so don’t know what happened initially, but I know DH doesn’t take the gentle wake up approach. I hear crying and find DS7 on the floor next to the bed. DH says he pushed DS7 out of bed as he kicked him. DS7 says DH punched him off. I would be surprised if it was a punch but I suspect it was a hard push in the back, as DH would have been angry about the kick. AIBU to be angry? I hate physical / angry reactions. If DH can’t handle it he should walk away.

Quinlan · 20/01/2025 21:34

Why is your 7 year old having so much power? He refuses to get out of bed? He is 7. Not a toddler. He understands when he needs to get up and why. But, he is kicking people? You need to sort out your parenting, both of you, because that’s not normal.

Your husband using violence to get his way… I think we can see why the 7 year old kicks. So, we’ve got a violent aggressive dad and a child who won’t follow rules, won’t listen to instructions and is also violent.

You’ve got some problems to sort. Take a parenting class. Really. More people should go to parenting classes for young kids and pre-teens.

NiftyKoala · 20/01/2025 21:34

If you have to ask this question it makes me worry for your poor ds.

Rachmorr57 · 20/01/2025 21:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DorothyStorm · 20/01/2025 21:37

NiftyKoala · 20/01/2025 21:34

If you have to ask this question it makes me worry for your poor ds.

This. What the actual fuck! Your partner is a knobhead.

Quiinkong · 20/01/2025 21:48

BabyFever246 · 20/01/2025 20:05

He should not have retaliated, but your 7yo needs significant punishment for kicking. People do react to physical violence. If he kicked a kid at school he may well find himself with a punch in the face.

You say your DH isn't gentle but what are you both doing to combat this morning behaviour? Because if you're coddling him going oh its horrible getting up baby here hold your arm out and I'll dress you and your DH is like right it's morning get up or you'll have a glass of water chucked over you it's never going to end well.

DH needs riot act for violence. You both need to get your asses together and read riot act to child on kicking. DH shouldn't have retaliated and should apologise for that but the initial kick is not acceptable and here are the punishments for that. Joint approach going forward. Consistency.

This!

I wouldn't have pushed him out of bed but he would definitely be receiving a smacking because no 7yr old of mine will EVER be getting physical with me. Your DH's reaction isn't how he should have reacted towards a child. Ignore all these witch hunt about calling the police, getting legal advice etc so dramatic. Talk to DH about notnliking his approach and a more appropriate punishment for next time DS tries to pull the same stunt

IMustDoMoreExercise · 20/01/2025 21:57

Redcandlescandal · 20/01/2025 21:05

No it isn’t. I wonder where he learned to use violence instead of his words?!

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Perhaps from someone who just accepts him kicking them and does nothing?

Eenameenadeeka · 20/01/2025 21:58

Neither explanation is acceptable, both pushing and punching a child to the floor are abuse.

Coffeeandwalnutcakes · 20/01/2025 22:08

IMustDoMoreExercise · 20/01/2025 21:57

Perhaps from someone who just accepts him kicking them and does nothing?

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Exactly. Fast forward 6 years and the OP will be wondering why her teenage DS is out of control and does what he wants with no consideration for anyone else.

Anon501178 · 20/01/2025 22:13

Quiinkong · 20/01/2025 21:48

This!

I wouldn't have pushed him out of bed but he would definitely be receiving a smacking because no 7yr old of mine will EVER be getting physical with me. Your DH's reaction isn't how he should have reacted towards a child. Ignore all these witch hunt about calling the police, getting legal advice etc so dramatic. Talk to DH about notnliking his approach and a more appropriate punishment for next time DS tries to pull the same stunt

Edited

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Oh the irony.....so your children are not allowed to lash out physically at you, but it is ok for you as the adult (who is old enough to know better) to hit them?!
Never heard such hypocrisy!
Do you not realise that children copy the behaviour they see? If not towards you then towards others around them.

UnderFadedSkies · 20/01/2025 22:27

Anon501178 · 20/01/2025 22:13

Oh the irony.....so your children are not allowed to lash out physically at you, but it is ok for you as the adult (who is old enough to know better) to hit them?!
Never heard such hypocrisy!
Do you not realise that children copy the behaviour they see? If not towards you then towards others around them.

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Absolutely this, I went to reply to this comment but felt it would fall on deaf ears and deleted it. We shouldn’t still be seeing this in 2025 smh.

BabyFever246 · 20/01/2025 22:33

I've witnessed the aftermath of my friends 4yo smearing her own poop all over the bathroom walls ... funnily enough I've never seen her or her DH model that behaviour for her to be copying it!

Children push and test boundaries. Can we push bedtime 5 mins? 10? 15? What if I ask for water? Say I need bathroom again? Say I'm STARVING? If they kick and get away with it they'll keep going. Parenting needs boundaries. By all means give them choices where you can, but hard boundaries are needed. One of those does need to be get up and out of bed when told. If he's too tired to do so then they need to get their parenting head on and sort out bedtime. But when it's get up time it's get up time and that's that. No kicking.

Physical violence usually spells more. I've known nursery biters be biters until they bite the wrong child and get bitten back. Bullies bully until they pick on the wrong kid who hits them back. Peers will react back with more violence. Should her DH have pushed him off the bed to make him get up? No. But if he left no marks etc then I can guarantee it will be gentler than if the 7yo kicks the wrong kid at school and gets a solid punch to the face.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 20/01/2025 22:55

BabyFever246 · 20/01/2025 20:05

He should not have retaliated, but your 7yo needs significant punishment for kicking. People do react to physical violence. If he kicked a kid at school he may well find himself with a punch in the face.

You say your DH isn't gentle but what are you both doing to combat this morning behaviour? Because if you're coddling him going oh its horrible getting up baby here hold your arm out and I'll dress you and your DH is like right it's morning get up or you'll have a glass of water chucked over you it's never going to end well.

DH needs riot act for violence. You both need to get your asses together and read riot act to child on kicking. DH shouldn't have retaliated and should apologise for that but the initial kick is not acceptable and here are the punishments for that. Joint approach going forward. Consistency.

Spot on

Newmumhere40 · 20/01/2025 22:59

Ukholidaysaregreat · 20/01/2025 20:01

The son should not be kicking the Dad. Surely.

Obviously but he's 7, the Dad is an adult, hence the issue!

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 20/01/2025 23:02

Bet he won't be kicking anyone tomorrow and will be up and out of bed as he needs to be without a fuss.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 20/01/2025 23:03

BabyFever246 · 20/01/2025 20:19

If I refused to get out the bed I'd have had the duvet pulled off first. If I'd dared kick a parent they would have picked up the edge of the mattress and upended me onto the floor and grounded me. Staying in bed wasn't an option. Literally would have been dragged out by my ankle if needed.

Me too. We got out of bed sharpish thereafter.

MummyJ36 · 20/01/2025 23:05

I have a DC who is dearly 7 and the thought of anyone punching or shoving them out of bed makes me want to cry. They are still so little at this age this is horrible behaviour.

Coffeeandwalnutcakes · 20/01/2025 23:25

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 20/01/2025 23:02

Bet he won't be kicking anyone tomorrow and will be up and out of bed as he needs to be without a fuss.

🥾😢

Quiinkong · 21/01/2025 02:22

Anon501178 · 20/01/2025 22:13

Oh the irony.....so your children are not allowed to lash out physically at you, but it is ok for you as the adult (who is old enough to know better) to hit them?!
Never heard such hypocrisy!
Do you not realise that children copy the behaviour they see? If not towards you then towards others around them.

Show quote history

Did you even read what i said? Did i say lash out at your children for no reason? Please do not pick and choose from my words as people who didn't know better would think you have a learning disability. Do things your way and leave everyone else to their way.

Quiinkong · 21/01/2025 02:25

BabyFever246 · 20/01/2025 22:33

I've witnessed the aftermath of my friends 4yo smearing her own poop all over the bathroom walls ... funnily enough I've never seen her or her DH model that behaviour for her to be copying it!

Children push and test boundaries. Can we push bedtime 5 mins? 10? 15? What if I ask for water? Say I need bathroom again? Say I'm STARVING? If they kick and get away with it they'll keep going. Parenting needs boundaries. By all means give them choices where you can, but hard boundaries are needed. One of those does need to be get up and out of bed when told. If he's too tired to do so then they need to get their parenting head on and sort out bedtime. But when it's get up time it's get up time and that's that. No kicking.

Physical violence usually spells more. I've known nursery biters be biters until they bite the wrong child and get bitten back. Bullies bully until they pick on the wrong kid who hits them back. Peers will react back with more violence. Should her DH have pushed him off the bed to make him get up? No. But if he left no marks etc then I can guarantee it will be gentler than if the 7yo kicks the wrong kid at school and gets a solid punch to the face.

All these people just wanna cuddle their children until "fuck off" is yelled in their face.

Original poster

Bahhumbug25 · 21/01/2025 09:49

Thanks for the replies. I’ve shown DH. We’re going to see a professional to discuss.

OP posts:

Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 09:52

So son kicked his dad first ….
when he was not doing as he was asked and constantly refuses to get out of bed.
Entitled brat springs to mind

CluelessAsFuck · 21/01/2025 10:00

Blimey. As my DH always said - cherish the times our DD wants a cuddle as one day they will no longer want one and you'll miss it. Your DH needs a talking to.

southpawsofthenorth · 21/01/2025 10:18

So your son kicks and your DH pushes children to the floor? It’s not great is it?
No prizes for guessing where the son gets his ideas from though. You need to get him away from DH asap.