If I gift a friend an item bought from vinted?

[Mirrormirror47]

So it's my friends big birthday.
She's always admired a bag I bought cheaply from vinted and the only way I can afford to buy her a similar bag is by buying from Vinted again.
My question is would you be offended to receive a second hand item (obviously it would have to be in good condition) not new as a gift?

I wouldn't be offended, I would love it actually, love a bargain, whether it's a gift or not.

Some people would be offended though, what's your friend like? Does she buy second hand stuff?

I don't think she does so unsure how she'd feel I don't want to come across as being a skinflint!!

Just fill it with scented tissue paper and put it in a nice gift bag. She's an adult she shouldn't be getting offended at any gift.

Yes I would it's just I feel sure she'd know I bought it second hand and I don't want to offend.

I think that's very thoughtful, I wouldn't bat an eyelid about where it had come from. I've given gifts from Ebay or vinted before - e.g. specific toys no longer sold.

It really depends. My gut instinct is not to if you’re unsure. Or look for BNWT at least. Even if your friend is happy to buy secondhand generally, she might want new for her big birthday and that’s fair enough. But as you say she doesn’t it might be underwhelming. If it’s a bag which is out of production now then obviously it will be second hand - but doesn’t sound like that. And are you sure she likes the bag enough to want herself. A friend of mine said she was considering getting me something as a gift because I’ve complimented hers before, but I wouldn’t actually want it for myself.

I'm not sure, she's either going to realise its second hand which she may or may not be cool with or she's going to think it's new and believe you spent a lot of money on her and may feel obliged to reciprocate. Then you may have to tell her it's second hand which would be awkward.

I would mention they are on Vinted for x price and she could get one or you would be happy to get it as a gift.

I bought a scarf from a charity shop recently, messaged a mate asking if she wanted it and she had it in her hands before dinner.

Some people don’t mind a bargain.

If you're not sure about how someone feels about second hand then don't buy them a second hand gift.

Get her something smaller that you can afford new

I'd tell her that yours was second hand too , " hope you don't mind but it's pre- loved like mine was "

why don't you ask her? Say "Amy, I know you always mention my bag, I've just seen one on Vinted/my friend is selling one similar, I thought of you but not sure how you feel about secondhand."

If she says "wow, yeah, sounds great, send me the details" or "I'd love it but no money at the moment," then you can buy it for her. Up to you whether you say "I'll get it for your birthday!" or pretend "ah sorry they've already sold it, I'll keep an eye out for another one," and surprise her.

If she says "nah it's okay I'm not a fan of secondhand stuff" or "I'd rather save up and buy it new" then leave it.

I would be fine with it! I would hope it was in ok Condition though (not new! But not falling apart either)

I don’t know many who would be offended but also most of the people I know wouldn’t present it as new, they would tell the friend oh I got you this off vinted because I know how much you liked it. It’s in great nick though! Hope you like it. Then both people would take pleasure in the “getting of a bargain” 😂

I think some people might have an issue but that says more about them which is probably why I don’t know many like that!

I know one friend who didn’t mind the gift was 2nd hand but the giver did pretend it wasn’t/ tried to blag it was new and friend could see it was used.
so the problem was the not telling her and her feeling weird about knowing but not sure if she was expected to pretend about it. that was the issue!

im only mentioning it so if you don’t plan on telling her make sure it’s not obvious!

I would be ok with it if it was ££££ originally and an absolute bargain, not so much if it's was an Asda regift in poor condition. Put some nice scented paper in it and a box of chocolates and then put the lot in a nice gift bag.

I wouldn't mind receiving it but I would prefer to know it was secondhand than to think my friend had spent a lot of money - or had perhaps bought a fake. So I wouldn't try to pass it off as new.

Even if she said she'd love it but has no money, that doesn't mean she'd want. I wouldn't say to the OP that I wouldn't want it because I wouldn't want to either admit I'm not so keen on the bag I just complimented her purchase because she was excited about it or say something which might make her think I look down on second hand purchases. I might say that I have no money just to avoid the subject, especially face to face where I don't have time to make sure that what I'm saying won't inadvertently cause offence. I think like you said the OP directly suggesting to get it for friends birthday directly is the best idea - I'd do it by text so if the friend's thought is "hell no" she can rework that without being too on the spot.

For me it all depends of the person ur giving it to, would mind second hand. Do u know if she buys second hand items?

I'd mention you got it on vinted as u knew she wld love it and obviously cant buy it new anymore.

Personally I think that's lovely and thoughtful. I do buy on vinted or ebay so I don't mind second hand for me or the kids. My sil I know doesn't buy anything second hand so I wouldn't get it for her.

Ask her if she'd like you to source one on vinted for her gift.

She may really want one or may have been being polite, no point wasting time and money on the wrong gift.

I absolutely would not be offended. I'd think it's great you think of me enough to source a bag I love. Doesn't matter if it's second hand or new. I actually prefer second hand items if they are in good condition. X

Absolutely not offended, as it's a specific gift you know she will like. I'd be very pleased.

Totally different to the random charity shop shit my sister buys at XMas without thinking.

I’d love that. In your shoes I’d buy it but I’d tell her it was secondhand. If anything I’d big it up. ‘Amy, I know you love my bag. I’ve hunted all over for it and I finally found it on Vinted. I’m so thrilled! If it’s not your thing, let me know and I can keep it and get you something else.’

I wouldn’t mind at all, but I have some close friends who are super weird about second-hand stuff.

I gifted some really expensive, barely worn baby girls’ coats to a friend for her baby shower. I found out a few months later that she had donated them all to charity (her baby hadn’t worn them at all). She did the same with a large bag of second-hand baby clothes that someone else had given her. They were all in great condition and expensive brands.

I have nothing against her and she is a good friend of mine. She’s just strange about second-hand stuff. She’s American so perhaps it’s a cultural thing?

If you're not sure, I probably wouldn't. I know lots of people who love Vinted, charity shops etc, who would be delighted, but others who would be shocked and not pleased at all.

It's no reflection on income, although maybe the people I can think of who love it most are either quite cash strapped or quite well off/grew up relatively well off and don't have complicated feelings about used/new, whereas people in between might be more anxious about the social implication, or have unhappy memories attached to it. Or just not like second-hand stuff of dubious provenance/hygiene!

I would just send her the link and get her something else.

I wouldn’t mind, but I would be upfront. I’ve bought one friend second hand books for a birthday knowing they wouldn’t mind, but I’ve always said this was the case - takes financial pressure of the other person too knowing it wasn’t super expensive.

I’d love it! ♻️

I would not mind a pre loved good condition bag.
Now I want to know which bag it is please?